Why Do I Still Want Him??

So my boyfriend got really mad at me, and like shoved me down a couple times, and he grabed me and was forcing me around by my arm and stuff. and dispite all this I still want to be with him... i mean we broke up and I'm being all you-think-we-can-talk-after-what-you-did and stuff but only because I know my bestfriend, and family would be very disappointed and mad at me if we got back together. I want to be with him so bad and I mean its not like he hit me, but I don't even know if my dad would allow us to be together.

Let him go. If he can't control his anger, then it's only a matter of time before he does hit you. You are asking to get hurt if you get back with him- so just don't. You'll get over him in no time, and even if you don't now, you'll come to realize how bad he is for you.

You would probably know the answer to the question you posted better than anyone else. In most cases your love ones and the ones that love you want to protect you from the pain that usually accompany desire. I know that is over simplification to complex emotion, but perhaps it just helps to know you are not the first to be perplexed by your own emotions

"shoved me down a couple times, and he grabed me and was forcing me around by my arm and stuff."

He "only" put his hands on you shoved you around,pushed you down. Start making excuses for that kind of behaviour now and you will always accept it, even when it gets worse. Would you want your daughter putting herself in that kind of position?

"I mean its not like he hit me"

He put his hands on you. When he actually hauls off and punches you will you be saying "but he didn't kill me"

I agree. i used to be in a abusive relationship and he left and came bak and i let him. it started off just verbal then he pushed me when he got mad. i blew it off cuz he has to take medicine for and imbalance and his mother died and all these other excuses i made up for him. then one day he hit me full force, swollen eye bruised every part of my face. i was lucky his brother was there, he protected me because i wouldnt. let your family protect you before you get hurt. if he hurts you now it wont stop, itll just get worse.

I use to be in an abusive relationship but i guess i was so in love with the person my boyfriend then would pretend to be in front of others that i kind of created this amazing guy in my mind so every time he would push me around i would blame it on myself and say i did something wrong which is what made him angry. but the thing is that now that him and i are not together my life is actually so much better with out him, its hard but i assure you that it will only keep getting worse, you've made yourself fall in love with the person you want him to be, not the person he actually is

...I don't even know you, but I can tell you now that if you got back with him I'm would be angry at you too! Obviously you have issues with being alone if you feel, or did feel, that you wanted to continue to be with him & only like the IDEA of being with him... You said that since you two broke up that you life has gotten better. Then why would you want to go back to him? How long have you been with him? In love or not you deserve better than that & it owe it to yourself to be treated better! ...You said that it will only get worse (now contradicting yourself) because you love him & miss him. If you get back together with him, this abuse continues & you keep ignoring the fact you don't deserve that then it WILL only get WORSE! Please, show some respect for yourself.

No... let him go. he is not and will never be worth it. he has no right to touch you. my dad would have done more than just be mad about it

Don't you dare go back to him. I care about you already more than he does. And I don't even know you. I think that already answers your question.

I say let him go...because if he can do that to you then he would do it again...and that is not a good kind of relationship to be in.

No rajnish. I really think she shouldn' even consider him. He pushed her. That is PHYSICAL abuse. Something that should never be forgiven. I believe anyway. If they do it once, you can bet your buns hes gunna do it again.

So lets say you get back with him. He pushes and grabs you again. Ok so you let it go because its nothing new. Well than lets say he slaps you. Are you going to say "oh its just a slap."

Let him go. You deserve sooo much better than that. Any girl does. No one deserves abuse. No matter what they've done in the past.

I really am gratful for everyones help, it's really hard to just let him go i mean... He's the first person i've allowed myself to love, and even begin to trust. He was so many first for me i can't just stop loving him, and leave him alone... in some ways i guess i need him... and i know he needes me just a much...

DO NOT tell yourself you need him. You don't need him at all. You are not smart if you think you NEED him. What has he done for you that you need? Sure he was your first love. But firsts aren't usually the lasts. You can find sooo much better. You do not need him. That is the last thing I want you to think.