Why do we feel this way after a break-up?

I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. we lived together and had a baby girl named violet. thats only 8mths. and as much as i try to forget him i cant i love him im so used to being with him i cant stand these feeling i get there so sad. :'( how can anyone stand to feel this way. i just want him near me and i cant cus i messed it up. hes my first love and my only one i need. any advice?

Why do we feel that way after a break-up? You've been with you ex (I presume by your use of pastense) for 2 years. That's a long time to get to know & spend time with a person, you naturally grow attached (at least some people may or in some way)! It would be the same; no different, if it were the end of a friendship or the passing of a family member, etc. The feelings mutual.

^ "how can anyone stand to feel this way."

No one wants to feel that way nevertheless "stand" to feel that way! Some people learn to move on & sometimes that's all you can do. For instance, you have not only yourself to think of you; you have a child. Others are also in the same situation where they realize that they still do have family & friends who care for them or who they need to care for. I don't know your story, I don't know whether there'd be hope for the you & your ex in the future or if that's nothing more than just false hope now. Regardless, you have more than just yourself to think about; your child, other family & friends. That alone will help you to move on, at least it should.

Hope the advice helps to some extent, hope you can learn to move on for yourself & others. :)

Any advice?

Thanks for your advice. its very help ful. i just wanted to know what to do in this case. it just seems so hard to be so far away from him and not being able to see him. we call each other once in a while but idk if we should talk. we actually talk better now and we dont argue. it just seems like this brake up is really a break. i can tell from the way he talks to me that he misses me but hes confused about his feelings cus he cant trust me. the reason being is becus wen we where going out i felt neglected and i was alone had no one to talk to . and i began to look for old friends. i ended up finding this guy aka pyro and he and i would talk and texted eachother but he had a girlfriend and he was just there to help and give me advice. i knew he liked me and i shouldnt have disrespected him that way. but i had no other way of thinking i just wanted a friend and my friends had a bussy life at that time. so i didnt know what to do . and he found his text of course i desquised it as a girl but the txt had pyro in it and he knew exactly who that was and what he meant or used to mean to me in the past. so he kicked me and my baby out and we had nowhere to go so we just went to a shelter near by and i had found my moms new number so i called her and she sent me money to move to where shes at and now im so far away. we talk to each other and we tell eachother why we would feel the way we did wen we were with each other and i get what i did wrong to him and he gets what he did wrong to me but the only thing he tells me is that he cant trust me. but he hasnt been able to trust me for a long time ever since i can remember. and i cant trust him either. i know hes not gona hurt me but theres always that doubt.

That was pretty lousy of your boyfriend to do such a thing; to kick you & your child out! You did nothing wrong, as far as I'm concerned. You were lonely & looking for someone to talk to since he wasn't there & all your friends were busy. (All you mentioned is that you talked to this "pyro" guy, you weren't in any kind of relationship with him in any way that would cause your boyfriend to feel betrayed?) If you were just TALKING with "pyro" I don't know why your boyfriend is making a big deal about it & why he's holding it against you. I also don't know why you feel like you shouldn't have done what you had, lol. You did nothing wrong, you were lonely & all you wanted was to talk to someone who would listen. It doesn't prove that you are "untrustworthy" it proves you're HUMAN!

I don't know your history, lol. But is there more reason, besides just talking with that guy that made your boyfriend act outrageously, for him to not trust you?

I know you don't feel that you can trust him; for how he acted towards that specific incident & for whatever else he has done in the past, & that there is still doubt. I know because I have SOME mistrust & doubts of my own towards my boyfriend, sometimes it hits me at the core & I just wish that it would end or that it hadn't began in the first place. But I just remind myself that it will take time & in that time what I want to know will be proven. It will take time for you too; you & him, & in time what you want to know will be proven. I also know what it's like to live far away from the one you love but I know that my love for him is true, that I can wait & that it's worth the wait; he's worth the wait! :)

I have never cheated on him and hes always been so jelous of me talkin to anyone i think its because of his past. he was with a girl for 2 and a half years and the whole time she was cheating on him. but i told him that is her and i am me. were different. i know that girl he went out with and shes a sex addict. i think she was bound to stay alone for her own reasons. and he doesnt understand that i love him so much and im thankful to have him and i will never cheat on him or do anything to hurt him just because i can imagine how painful that would be. and the reason why i dont really trust him is becaus i dont want to loose him and i see that he smiles and jokes around with other people and it kills me inside because he used to be that way twards me and now he isnt. and thats when my jelousy comes in. because hes so cold twards me and so happy and open twards others. he told me that its my fault that im the one who made him that way cause i always nag. and i think that part of that is true but he doesnt see what he would do to make me nag. he tells me now when we talk that it seemed that all i wanted him to do was work. but i just wanted him to become a man. for us were both 19 both gonna be 20 in december. and i thought he was imachure. we were living with his mom the whole time we were togethr and i saw he didnt do anything for that to change. i didnt want to be there. it wasnt home to me. and he never worked till now but wat does that help if were not even together. i mean its great that he finally got it but it was to late for me i think. now he wants me to move back to tulare were i was and we can look for an apt. or house together to move in but he wants us to just be friends and be together for the baby. but i think thats just his way of saying i miss you and i want you guys back. but idk. i mean i want to but how harsh for me to move in with him and just be friends. when all i want to do is kiss and hug him. and i know if we do that we'll end up going back out and i feel that our relationship will mature the way i want it to but im not sure if its the best thing to do.

Idk.