I miss my brother who died from an overdose

I'm just feeling kinda depressed today. its the 2 month anniversary of my brothers death, he passed away on the 16th of august 2008 from a drug overdose and i am missing him so so much.

i just don't really have anyone who actually understands me since he is gone, i am recovering from anorexia but have a huge battle with bulimia. i cry like everyday because i wish things were different. the 22 of september was the 1 year anniversary since a gang broke into my dads house and brutally attacked him leaving him brain damaged and i just miss who he use 2 be. i mean he was never the perfect father, he had many affairs until he got a woman who is young enough to be his daughter pregnant 9she told him she couldn't have children even though she had 1 at home, she worked in a topless bar so you can kinda understand what kind of person she was and she used drugs)

anyway my dad left my mom and i in order to start a new life, my mom is such a strong and beautiful woman, she has battled cancer, is battling chrones disease had a spinal fusion which didn't work and various other operations.

when my mom was in hospital i lived with my dad and his girlfriend use 2 abuse me both physically and emotionally.

i guess I just want someone to talk to because i am really missing my darling brother so so much, and all i want 2 do is phone him and just hear his voice but i cant do that anymore. he was only 20 and meant the world to me.

i got 4 music notes tattooed around the butterflies up my wrist and i got the chinese symbol of love on my shoulder in memory of him but i just miss him so much.

Oh hunni I am so sorry for your lose and all the horrible things that have happened. You know what I see tho? You speak of how Strong your mother is, I believe you got her genes because you too are so strong. I have a friend who battled eating disorders just as you & I know how difficult they can be to overcome. I can't say that I know how you feel because I don't, but if you ever need to talk to anyone, I will be there, I'm on every day besides the weekends so just PM me. Hang in there hun, things will get better. What ever you do shall come back three-fold unto you.
blessed be

Thank you so so much, i really appreciate that and would really like to talk some time. i just feel so so confused because i would always usually have my brother there to support me through everything, he was like the only person who ever really got me.

i was so devastated when i found out about what happened to him and what made it even worse was my boyfriend who i really loved broke up with me less than 2 weeks after my brother died.

he said that we could still be friends but i mean get real. (thats like my dog dying and my mom saying i can still keep it) anyway he just became so mean and went back to his ex who aborted their baby and lives 1 house away from me,. i see them out together all the time and that really hurts a lot but i really appreciate the support, it means so much 2 me.

I mean it too hun, any time you want to talk, I know what its like to feel like you have so many problems and no one to help. PM me and we'll talk.

I understand how you feel. My brother attempted to commit suicide a couple of years ago. Luckily he didn't succeed. But as soon as we got the call that he was in the hospital, I swore to myself right then and there that if he was successful that I couldn't live. You are stronger than you think.

Also, my best friend's sister was killed in a one person car wreck, 3 years ago. It didn't matter that she was my best friends sister, it was like she was my sister as well. All three of us did things together, then just the two of us hung out. She was always there for both of us. And even three years later I can't look at car wrecks and it still hurts that she's gone. Actually I had a dream about her that I woke up from crying. It was so real. Like she was still alive, but at the same time I knew I was just dreaming.

All I can tell you is keep him in your heart and never forget. Think of the good times you had with him. Just keep his memory alive. He's still with you.

Thank you so much for sharing that with me, i really appreciate it.yeah, i will never forget the night i got the call to say that he had died, no one wanted to tell me how he died i was devastated when i found out. i guess it was because i will never know weather he did it on purpose or if it was an actual mistake and just a real accident taht took his life.

i sat the whole day crying today, i am missing him so much. his best friend committed suicide last week, i honestly didn't know how to react.

well i have got a few tattoos in memory of him and i just always have a picture of him with me and wear the bangles he bought me a few years ago.

he was the most amazing person i ever knew, no matter what he was going through he always was there to support me through everything.

Yeah, i have heard a few songs from sade but don't think I've heard that 1, but i will go and listen to it right now and let you know what i think, thanks.

Hey, i checked that song out, wow it was very powerful!!!!

Huni Im so sorry about your lose.

My brother just died too.......My little bro Ty he would be 15 a couple days ago.....I can feel your pain dear. And im so so sorry.

You are a strong girl. Very strong. *many many hugs*