Cussing

Well my 11 (12 in two months) year old, all of a sudden wanted to start cussing. I've always been open minded with him but expect him to understand the consequences of his actions. Such as certain cuss words are off limits for him to even speak to me of. The "F" word, the "P" word and the "B" word are not even allowed to be said in my presence. Unril recently he never even wanted to say any word. Now he wants to say "hell, shit and damn" regurarly. Before he wouldnt even spell the words! What is going on? Is he just growing up? I hate how these words sound coming out of his mouth! They sound so ugly and he seems to use them all the time!

11.. Is he starting middle school this year?? I would say that he's doing it to be "cool" because he is the underclassman. He's possible trying to impress others, that's how alot of guys were when I got into middle school and high school. Try to explain to him that doing things in school like sports or something like that would get him more noticed than swearing.

A lot of kids around that age started cussing because they started middle school and wanted to seem cooler. i agree with tpam, tell him to start doing something more active, eventually he'll be so busy he'll forget all about it. if he doesnt, my mom lets my sister and i get away with very few cuss words; were allowed to say were pissed off or somebody's acting like an ass or jackass. thats it. Good luck with your situation.

Yeah, around 12ish is 6th grade/middle school...thats when i started cussing. it makes you seem "cool" pfft.

The problem with swearing is that it makes you look so immature. You might be a great educated smart person but then if someone who doesn't know you and has just met you hears you swearing all the time they get this awful impression of your personality. Myself, I hate stereotypes like that. But it's just how the world works.
And the other thing is that it's almost addictive. It's hard to swear a lot with your friends and then not at all when you're at work or in school.

Oh and to answer the original question. Watch who he's hanging out with. It often is picked up from friends. And if not then from someone who he maybe wants to be friends with and now he swears to impress them and appear 'cool'. There are plenty of words in the English language you can express yourself with without using those words. But sometimes it does come out. A common part of teenage life.

What's the p word?

Kids will be kids, at some point the words are going to fly out of their mouth, it is what you do to correct it that counts. I personally never swore in front of my parents until I was an adult, it was ingrained from childhood that it was inappropriate and would not be tolerated. Other people may influence us but in the end we make the decision. Did you talk to him about it?

Tell him that those arent good words and other people may not think of him well if he continues to cuss

Ahhh I'm still 14 but yeah :/
It doesn't necessarily mean that he wants to be "cool" It may also be because of peer pressure or because when he does it he feels high of himself... I know I sometimes do that...swear and at the time I feel good about myself but then I look back and go o.0 what the hell? haha (: But yeah I advice you to talk to your son about it you guys already seem pretty open already :) descuss it with him and ask him, ask him WHY he wants to do it rather than coming here seeing as everyone has a mind of their own and everyone is different :) so talk to your son :D
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Hope I helped in a way...
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Yes, I talked to him about it. I remember being his age and using a few curse words too. He hangs around the same kids he has hung around with since kindergarten. He's in 5th grade now. He's involved in sports too. I think it's just an age thing, but I still hate to hear the words when they come out of his mouth. I guess in some ways your children are always your babies no matter how old they get.

Oh and the "p" word is a rather vulgar word for female "parts".

Well I don't use them because they are, to me, filthy habits. seems like the more I said them when I was a kid the more often i'd say them and I started letting them slip infront of family and important people.

i'm not going to condone other people using curse words but I personally don't enjoy being around people who can't control themselves and let one go at a moment's notice, i'm very self-conscious in public, I want to look and act sharpe and I don't think being able to throw a couple words together makes a person mre dignified and professional, besides that many people like myself don't like curse words as it offends them so I go out of my way to be polite and courteous to even perfect strangers

I don't like to use them. I find them to be in bad taste; just plain unnecessary, & make a person unclassy; tacky. I hate to hear young children curse simple because they don't know the meaning of them. As for adults I could care less but like I said above...

I believe when I first cursed (other than when I was a small child & I may have been parroting my parents or another person I'd heard say it) I was around 12yrs old. My actual first memory of them was in Gr. 1 when a few of the girls gave me "the finger" & asked me if I knew what it meant... They probably didn't know either & I didn't care.

Just let your son know how you feel about him cursing & about cursing in general (consequences, meanings, etc.), he may not listen to you but let him figure it out on his own. As he gets older; matures, he may feel otherwise; feel it's not a big deal, that it was immature, it's unnecessary, etc.

Just explain to the child there are consequences and take away some privilages, tell him he can say whatever he likes around his friends (and he will)but that where it ends it doesn't come home

I appreciate everyone's comments and views on this. I tend to be an "overprotective" mom and sometimes trip about every little thing. I realize that this is most likely an age thing and do set limitations on what he can say. We have had a very "trying" last 4 months. He accidently set our home on fire and we lost everything, including a beloved pet. Not to mention he got suspended from school a week or so ago because he found a knife while walking to school from the babysitters and showed it to friends of his at school. I immediatly put him in counseling after the fire because I didnt want his guilt over his part in the fire to make him go the wrong way (he will be 12 in 2 months). He is at an age that is very impressionable (puberty! OMG!) and when something like the fire happens it can affect children extremly adversly. Tha fire was almost 4 months ago and our last visit with his counselor, (2 weeks ago) she told me that she didnt think that he needed any further counseling, and that he seemed to be a well adjusted child and handling the situation very healthily. She gave us the option of coming back if he or I felt that he needed it. So, basically I dont know if I am overevaluating each and every new change he has had and relating it to the fire or if it is just his age. I just want so bad for him to not blame himself and beat himself up over the fire, especially since in the fire he lost his pet that he had for years. I look for signs that he is depressed or suicidal or anything! I talk to him all the time (we are very close) and he tells me that he is okay., and that he would let me know if he wasnt. But I always get scared over any new thing recently and wonder if he is secretly still beating himself up over it. I just want to know that he is happy....Okay, so now you who read this post see that I probably am an overprotective neurotic mom!! He is my only living child! So do I need to ease up and back off?

I think you are just a mother who cares alot for her child and is worried about what goes on in his head, rightly so with all that is going on in this world. But if the person he's been going to see doesn't see a problem and if you two are very close than he knows he can come to you.

I don't think you sound overprotective at all, I think you sound like like a natural, loving, wonderful mother! You said the two of you have already talked & you told him if he ever needed to talk that you'd be there to listen. That there is great parenting! You're not doing too much & your not doing too little, you're meeting each other half way.