I need help, Am I gay?

Ok this is hard for me to say but I think that I may be gay. U'know what, scratch that. I don't know what I am. First off I have a boyfriend named Mike. And I love him so much. I want to spend the rest of my life wih him. He loves me and respects me as a person. We understand each other and love each other so much. I can honestly say and mean it, that we are soul mates. But, I think that I like girls. When I see a cute girl, I'll stare at her a lot faster than I would a cute guy. When I see 2 girls kissing, to a point that turns me on. The other day, I was looking up some information and an ad for gay porn popped up. And I hate to say, but I was kinda really into the girls. I love Mike with my heart, but I'm scared that I like girls. And not that I have anything against Gays or Lesbains, it's just that I never thought that I would be one. And then I thought well, maybe I'm just Bi-sexaul. But I think about girls a lot more than guys. I mean I still find guys attactive, but I find girls more. I don't know what to do. I'm just really really scared. I just need help. On what? I don't know. I just know that I need something. Something out there I'm just looking for. And I assume that if I let it out than someone can maybe help me. So please feel free to say something. Thank you for listening

You find women attractive, lots of people do. I don't see what the point in freaking out is. If you are with your bf and plan on keeping it that way, what do you need to freak out about?

Cuz I don't want to be Bi or gay. I don't want to feel this way. I just want to be with him. I donj't want to think of girls. I'm not the kind of person that would. Not that I have anything against gays or bi's, I just don't want to be one. I only want to be with Mike. Thats it. No one else. I don't even want to think of anyone else in that way. But I do. And it's only with girls. And I just really don't want to feel this way.

We can't tell you how to control your own mind, you should definetely learn that looking and actually doing are 2 different things and we are visual creatures. I notice attractive people all the it me, it doesn't take from my relationship or make me feel bad about myself. You would have to lock yourself away from the world to avoid noticing other people.

Now from reading your other post I see the fear is because your bf is against homosexuality. What if you are Bi or you come to the realization that you are gay? Shouldn't someone who loves you and is your "soul mate" be able to discuss it and accept you? I don't think they should fill us with such fear that we begin hating ourselves and looking to change, based solely on their own ignorant opinions.

See that's the thing though. We've to a point spoken about it. And he's told me that he would be supportive but that doesn't mean that he wouldn't look at me different. I guess it's the whole thing of me coming out to not only him but aswell as my family. And I just don't know. I don't really don't want to feel this way, and I want to tell them without it being completely weird. Sometimes I wish that they all knew without me even having to say something.

Sorry. I just thought that I would get more people to talk that way. But it won't happen again

But you know I really don't think that I'm curious. I really do believe that I'm bi. But I'm going to try your advice. To see if it's right to be with a girl. But then that raises a lot of questions in my head. What if I really like being with a girl and I want to stay? And that's still the same thing as cheating on Mike and I never want to do that. I love him way to much to hurt him like that. But at the same time I want to see if that would work. And the biggest thing is, what if I really like being with a girl. I don't want to hurt Mike. I love him. And if I really like it than my fear was right all along. This is all way to confusing. lol I still don't know what to do.

There's a lot of things that him and I both need to work on but I don't think that it's something drastic enough for me to cheat. I don't know. I guess that I'll just talk to him about everything that's going on. Or work up to it slowly and feel him out a little more. Yeah. I don't know. I guess that I'll do that.

I mean cuz he doesn't really like gays. Not that he's a bad person but he doesn't like them. No he's not 1 of those crazy people that bad mouth them every second or stands out in front on gay clubs and throws stuff at them. It's just that he's like "God never intened people to be gay" So that's his stand on it and stuff like that. And I'm just going to feel him out and just talk to him about it. Or at least try to. But I really want to thank you for taking time out and talking about this. Thank you. I'm going to just wait a little longer and try to clear my head first.