Mistress

I'm not sure if i'm looking for a feedback or if i'm blowing steam. who knows.

whenever you think of a mistress...the other woman, you call her a slut and all that jazz But what if YOU are the other woman. Do you still feel like a slut.
We never understand why one person can fall in love or whatever with a taken man unless your in that position.

I wont say i am. because no i'm not sleeping with a married man or anything. sorry thats not how i roll. But here i am in this kind of sorta love triangle thing as the "Other woman" it is the most horrifing thing at the moment for me. No i'm not helping him cheat. No we havent made out or even touched eachother for that matter. Me and this kid use to be bestfriends and we were dating without the labels and now he his with my bestfriend. Our friendship was purely physical . So now he is with my friend i THOUGHT i caught down any physical contact but i guess i could be wrong.

He looks at me sometimes like im sex on a platter. He acts like he still owns me . Like i was his personal hoe. some may say its all in my head but its not. he still flirts with me and jokes around like nothing is wrong. he slaps my butt and does gross things but only to me....not even to his girlfriend. my only bet is to stay clear from him. I'm worried i might do something stupid and kiss him but i don't beleive i would. I dont want to be some mistress you know? but here is the sick part. i kind of do.

This must be how those women feel. they dont want to be the other woman. they want tobe the only one but they cant pull themselves away from the man or guy or whatever. I dont want that fate. Though i am young and surely have a future ahead of me. I don't want to waste my highschool years as some whore to a guy. I want to be able to move on and date guys without think of this kid. i wish it was easy and not so complicated. well no need for feedback unless you want to. i just needed to vent. i hope i didn't break any rules with this.

I agree with what you say. I wouldnt be able to live with myself i actually did something. I mean we havent or he hasnt. I'm afraid of what would happened if he did. would i be dumb and go along or would i fight back. So far i have stopped him. the sad part his that he touched me innaproitly right infront of his girlfriend. she saw it i saw it and all she did was make a face.

I just never thought that i could be in a position to be called a homewrecker. i'm more shocked i guess then anything. we dont have to understand i suppose why the other woman does what she does. We tend to blame that other woman. But it takes 2 to tango. It seems we grow angeir at her then think hey he did it 2. so both are at fault.

I feel bad for the other woman. if iwas my friend in this triangle i feel bad for myself. why didnt i see this? that kind of thing.

I wouldnt do it. I wouldnt dare be the other woman. I just dont like thinking that i am to an extant. To this creepy extant. To a nonphysical extant. I mean you can be the other woman and not even know the guy. Its all in his head. not just in his fingers.

But i dont think its hard to believe that i call myself a friend. everyone has that hidden voice that tells you if you want it go for it. who cares how they feel its how you feel. YOu have to be extra strong to ignore it. And yes if you dont have respect for youself then no you listen to it. if you do then you ignore it. Its just how much power you give that voice. How long you dwell on it. We don't want to see from the eyes that hurt us but at times you do. and deff for this topic. Because understanding where a mistress comes from could some day save you from becoming one yourself

The distant has been established ive stated. This thought didn't occour to me until 2 days ago. they have been together for 2 months i think yes. now its highschool so blah blah drama drama drama. i refused to talk to him had weak days when i did. blah blah didnt hang out with him blah blah was distant. made a dumb choice and did hang with them both THEN the mistress thought came to me.

Dont be fooled oh yes i'm backing off. Have been. had a failed attempt but i've tried. knowing what is going on is giving me a fair advantage. But like i said this was blowing steam. And i thank you for you imput because talking to another teenage girl would of done me wrong. I take what you say with great respect.

This is just a poor and lame case of dreaming wht you cant have but taking it a step farther.

Oh and feel free to lock this. no need for comments i suppose