Getting Married :-)

I am getting married October 17th 2010! I am super excited! but I'm scared. How can I get over this scared factor and just be completely excited! (if that makes sence?)

That's one day before my 19th birthday... and you didn't spell "sense" right. :)

"Do you realize how much work goes in to the preparation of a marriage."

My best friend rushed into her marriage, mind you she was 30 and not 16, but none the less, 2 years later she is still struggling to adjust and freely admits that marriage is a lot more work than she had anticipated. Finishing school, finding a career, exploring life, reaching a point of not only financial, but personal stability, all important steps, hopefully you don't throw it away.

Congratulations!!!!!

I wish you the best!

Wow..i remember when i was your age, i was in that situation. i was supposedly going to get married. but here i am at 18, that guy has been gone for YEARS, and i am very much not married. but...well..just dont rush into things. i'd wait until you're completely done with college, or at least almost done. if you're going to spend the rest of your lives together, why rush it?

When i was 16 Marcus asked me to marry him and i said yes but it was the thrill! It wasn;t real love at that point, we didn't know what real love was!! but i'm 20 and he's 21 now and we're growing more in love each day and we're still engaged. We're proving we can last untill we go ahead with the wedding and we live together now to see if we can do that without killing each other =P

I suggest you do the same sweets, because late teens and early twenties are the testing period. Don't miss out on your life unless it's truly meant to be!

Ok wat im abt to say may not be link to the thread but 17 oct is Eminem's Birthday...juz wanna let u noe tt u're getting married on a Celebrity's birthday(juz for ur info);)

Well all the best to u...btw im not to sure if this quote may help but here it goes...

"Don't find someone whom you can live with, find someone whom you can't live without"

by whom i dunnoe...but i heard it from somewhere

Jees, do you people realise how negative you are? Someone wants to tell us good news and all we do is tear them down. That's not fair. She might not be very old, but it doesn't mean she doesn't love wholey. And it's very true that marriage is a big thing, but thousands of marriages end in divorce all the time, it doesn't matter what age you are when you marry, sometimes things don't work out, you come to that when it happens.

Good luck is all I can say and I am pleased for you. I wish you and your fiancee all the best!

Amanda, thanks for your comments, I am sure the orignal poster appreciates them, as do I. I do understand your POV and in some respects I agree with you, BUT only twenty years ago it was completely normal to marry at age 20 or under and have kids by that age too. I know age 16 is very young to get married, but people in other cultures marry at 16 and it doesn't mean that they end in divorce.

It depends. The only way a marriage will work is if you are able to be mature enough and work at it. Some 16 year olds have had to grow up incredibly fast because of their upbringing, and some don't need to grow up at all.

Still though, she asked for help on how to overcome being frightened. Not for us to add our two pence worth on whether or not she should have agreed to get married. I think sometimes, we let our opinions get in the way of helping others. And somehow, I don't think that someone she doesn't know off a website she posted on is going to make her cancel the wedding.

Perhaps the reason that she's scared (it appears we'll never find out considering it doesn't look like she's checked back yet to see any of this!!) is because it's a huge day for people and she doesn't want anything to go wrong, i.e. the dress is two sizes too big and she gets her lines wrong.

Jees I know I would be scared to death over that! Still, I am not getting married for a good five years yet, not til I've got myself a house and I've finsihed being an idiot. =o)
Perhaps, the orig poster's parents are loaded and will buy her and her new hubby a nice house?

=o)

Ah well she did say she wasn't getting married til 2010. Thats still a little way off still. There is still time for things to change.

"Tell me that a 16 year old has her life together and I'll give her a medal. Including living on her own, finished school, has a decent job. Has reached all the milestones in her life that she can Ie go to college"

^I'm 16 and I definately don't have my life together. I couldn't imagine getting engaged or married to my boyfriend right now. I'm still working on my GED and trying to get a job so I can save up my money and move out and get ready for college.

Before I get married I want to live on my own for awhile, be independant, make my own money and not rely on someone else. Especially with the 'high divorce rates'. If it doesn't work out or something happens or whatever else may come up, I want to know that I'll be able to take care of myself.

I don't understand why people just want to rush into marriage, especially when they are young and most never even being out on their own and take care of themselves.

Honestly hun, i'd say think about this LONG and HARD. Being engaged is amazing, because you get the rush, and its cool to have somthing your friends dont (expecially if he bought you a pretty diamond ring) But dont rush into this. If you guys are in love enough to get married in 2010, why not live some of your life first? Be engaged, if your really in love, it will be that way after college, or what ever it is you want to do after highschool. Trust me, a bad break up in 3 years, is going to be alot more inexpensive then a bad divorce in 3 years.

I know where you are coming from, i am 18, and i have an engagment ring on my hand. But i wasn't ready to accpet it. We were in love, and i truely believe that if we hadn't gotten engaged we would still be together, Being engaged changes everything, expecially when you think of the costs of getting married, you have to have a place to live, food to eat, lights, gas..ect. Think long and hard, and dont become another failed teenage marrige.

*Bianca

Obviously she has thought long and hard about this which has made her scared. Just because she's young does not mean she's in love BUT it doesn't mean she isn't in love and can't get married in two years. I've known many people who fell in love young and made it through life. You just have to realize that there are obsticles to overcome and bridges to cross before you get to where you need to be in life. Having someone to do that with, someone you know will be there for you through it all is just a wonderful, wonderful plus.

People are very negative. It seems 'adult' answers are given all over this site. Let me ask YOU something. Why are the 'adult answers' ALWAYS so negative? It's like bashing horrible thoughts into kids minds. Trying to make them think that they need to stay young and not grow up. When in reality we need mature kids in this world. We've so many who are killing and bullying that it's unbelievable.

Children want to grow up, they want to be like adults. Because adults are who they look up to. If adults are negative then the children will be negative. And, if the adults tell them that it will be rough but you'll make it through it WITH OR WITHOUT HIM, then they will use their brain to make decisions.

You also need to realize that when these children grow up they may say the same thing to their children 'you need to be more child-like' and while it's a great thing to be and an amazing feeling to feel. No one truly realizes that until they've lost it. So, there's no telling them to be children. They're not going to realize how much it truly means until it's too old. So tell them all you want but it won't help any. Just makes them want to me adult like.

Don't you remember days like that?
I do, and to be honest I miss wanting to be an adult. It gave me something to look forward to. And a reason to better myself. Don't rain on their parade to make them more child like, children are so immature. Once you hit 16 or 17, wanting to be adult like is as good as anything. Better than murdering people as I see it. And, that's the phase where you actually learn to be an adult. Youtake in all life offers you as it comes and goes and you breathe once a year to realize that adultship is hard. Wanting to be an adult will teach these children to be adults. If not through their own mistakes then through what?

Let her think she's going to get married. Let her think she's going to turn into an adult. She might and if she does then good for her, she's someone who will treasure life with someone who deserves and who she deserves. If not she will learn, she will wait for her true love and she will find him. OR, they will just withhold their wedding (Such as Gem did) and get to know each other better, cross a few more bridges with one another. Either way she needs to do this on her own with as much support as she can possibly receive.