Lost love

Almost a year now and i still havnt really gotten over the first guy of not that many. he is the only 1 who knew everything about me, bf wise...

...he wasnt much of a poet though he tried.i dont even know why but i looked over his suff again and i cried at the words written in them.

were friends now but when we 1st split we couldnt be around each other. now it seems i have matured and he says he has too, though he is still acting like a child.

the advice i need, is should i just accept were over and are never going to be able to be friends, not like how we were before we got together. do i really just let myself walk away from him..

stop the pretense that i care, carry on my resolution and just befriend him - letting him close to me once again...

^i know all that doesnt really make sence, im too emotional at the minuet to speak a clear mind. thanx if you read and could understand.^

i need to admit to myself its over for us, friendship as well as our past. i think so.

IBE
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To be honest, I think you'd find it easier in the long run to stop contact with him completely. Unless you want to try again with him, then it needs to stop.
It takes a LONG time to get over such a close relationship and clinging on to 'friendship' when you really want something more will just cause you more heartache when you know you can't have him.
Especially if another woman comes into his life and you're at the sidelines looking in.
It's easier for you just to walk away.
That's my opinion anyway.

Were over partner wise and i would like to be able to say it didnt end bad enough for us to not be friends..was it all me, all him...both of us?

im trying to figuer out what exactly i did wrong.obviously something but i still dont know what, he wasnt very clear just i cant handle a gf as well as all my other sh!t. i tried to help him through things i was even able to help him get over his angryness of his dislexia(SP). he exploded a few times and i stayed and dealt with it.

guess you can never really know someone can you..?

small things that people tell me in passing conversation upset me sometimes, mostly its about this new lass he is getting close to, insensative of them but i keep it all to myself.

to be honest i dont even know what i saw in him. we were friends first and i always seem to do the friends thing first. they fall in love or lust or whatever and bam its a relationship. though he was my first serious relationship, and i thinks thats what im most upset about, the first time i let my heart fully on the line and it got smushed big time.

its going to sound crazy and you may not believe me but i almost died when we split. i couldnt eat nor drink, the only time i left my rm was to use the toilet. i used to throw up loads. i went from a size 22 to 16 in just 2months. it got worse after that and it was something my sister had said to me when my niece was in the rm that made me realise i CAN do this.not for myself but for my niece.she is going to need me when she gets her heart broken for the first time. after 7months i wasnt bk to normal but i was trying alot more.

anyway. i just want to thank you all for your imput, im going to erase him from my life once again. move on and try to cope.

IBE
X

Hello,

im over him completly now, no feelings left for him. i think its time i can be his friend again, so we are starting to talk, slowly..im not going to push it, and if i feel anything from our past im just going to stop straight and forget it all again - try again another time further along my line.

thank you for all the comments and help. it did help me.

IBE
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