Eating disorder...

Growing up i was always the cute chubby girl everyone loved to cuddle. when i turned 12 my dads girlfriend began giving me a really hard time about it, i was never "fat" i was just chubby anyway, she would force me to look at magazines and make me compare myself to celebrities. she would force me to go on diets where i basically starved myself. my dad was always drunk and never believed anything, my mom was in hospital battling cancer, chrones disease and having numerous unsuccessful surgeries.

Eventually i couldn't take it anymore my dads girlfriend would always tell me I'm too fat, to ugly and will never make it, I'm not beautiful etc... so i began sticking my finger down my throat, at first it was under control and i started to like the results i was getting. i was losing weight and still eating what ever i wanted... it was way easier than starving myself.

when i turned 15 i began a battle with drugs, it began to dominate my life. instead of eating i was getting high and began a book where i would write down everything i ate did etc... i would put quotes and pictures in for "thinspiration" now that i look back on it, it was really messed up. anyway i have overcome my anorexia but still am having a really hard battle with bulimia. everyone tells me I'm like the beautiful fair skin, dark haired blue eyed bomb shell but when i look in the mirror i see something i hate seeing.

i just want to now if theres anyone who has overcome eating disorders that could maybe give me some advice?

thank you so much for taking the time to read my post, i really appreciate it.

YOur last thread was locked because there are many threads concerning this topic already, you are just going to earn yourself penalty points by reposting it.

Um, actually i spoke to Bob about him locking my post and he told me i could repost it as if you check the other topics regarding eating disorders are un able to be accessed so ya...

Well then ignore me lol

And actually it sounds a lot like my story, but it was my father who was always on me. He had the best of intentions and he wasn't mean per say, but his harping made me eat more, which eventually turned into me becoming bulimic/anorexic. It wasn't until I was in my 20's and sought help that I was completely over it. Other than the havoc it caused with my teeth, I was rather lucky health wise.

I'm really sorry to hear you had to go through something similar. yeah, my dads girlfriend did it on purpose. she knew how down i was when my mom was in hospital and knew i was really emotionally unstable, she would always push me as far as she could. she would make me look at magazines of stick thin celebrities and say wouldn't you rather look like that... you're fat, you're ugly... etc... and she would always promote me starving myself. thanks for sharing your experience with me.

Thank you so so much for the beautiful and motivational words. people around me often give me compliments but its as if i put a block on what they say and continue to hear the thing i was told growing up.

But the things you just said to me really went in... for once... its not very often that i actually listen to people when they talk to me about it.

I know that there are people out there who have got so much less than me and what hurts me the most is that whilst i am busy throwing my food up there are people out there who don't even have food and it makes me realize how ungrateful I can be by doing this, I've also seen the pain it causes the people around me each time i black out or have a medical problem as they know exactly what it is caused from.

I'm definitely gonna try your advice out, thank you so so much for taking the time out to read this, i really do appreciate it.