Move too far too fast?

Move too far too fast?

Two months ago my boyfriend of over 2 years broke up with me. But five days after that he came crawling back to me begging me to take him back. I did and we dated for about two more weeks till he broke it off again and then picked up a new girl 4 days later. They dated for about a month.

The day that he broke up with this girl was the day that I decided to finally tell him how I felt. I wasn't aware that he broke up with her that day, it was merely coincidence. We talked about it and he agreed to give us a third try but to wait until school was out so we wouldn't get any crud from people who were tired with the constant drama that was going between the two of us.

He was always way possessive of me and I never was able to understand why. I would always hug other guys and it really pissed him off. It was a really stupid thing on my part, of course he got jealous! I was supposed to be his. Once I finally thought about it, completely understood. So a few days after we decided to get back together a guy came up to me and put his hand on my knee. It didn't bother me because I thought that this kid was gay. He acted like it a lot but when I look at it deeper, it seemed that he was straight, or at least bi, and only putting on the gay boy act to get more attention from girls. Anywho, he did that and my ex freaked out and later that week we called it quits for good this time.

This weekend, on saturday, he called me. He said that he couldn't run from his feelings anymore and asked what it was that he had to do to get me back. We had a long talk and figured some things out. He decided that he didn't care what other people said about us because he loves me. So I snuck out of my house at like one in the morning to go see him. His parents weren't home for the weekend so we went to his house. My pants were covered in snow from crawling out the basement window so I asked him if I could borrow a pair of his while mine dried out. It didn't even come to that. I took them off and then.... well him and I in his bedroom and me with my pants off.... yea. You can see where that went. He had the condoms right there in his pocket and I thought that it was kinda weird that he would do that, kinda like he was expecting it from me. While things were happening, at the beginning at least, this little voice entered my head and said �hey, this isn't right, you need to slow down� but I ignored it and let him. We've had sex many many times before so it wasn't like it was our first time. But I just have this feeling that we moved way too fast way too soon. We're not even completely sure that we will be able to make our relationship last.

Anyone have any advice or anything to say about this? Something that would help, maybe?

But what if both the man and the woman changed and helped the other to change? What if they both wanted each other so much that they both tried their very best to please the other? Would things work out?

I know... I guess it just seems easier to keep him close because he's all I've ever known. It's just really really hard to let go.

*sigh* but we're together.... I don't want to hurt him again. It kills me more if I have to hurt him then it does when he hurts me.

If nothing hurt you then you wouldn't be human. Humans are supposed to have compassion, but not just for others, but for yourself. Learn what you need to do, I think you know what you have to do, but fear is getting in the way. Don't let it, do what you know is right.

Finish it now before you break your heart again. And you will break it again, its the waiting game. You need to look out for number one sweets and thats yourself. If he really loved you he wouldn't have messed you around in the first place.

Possessive is never cute and neither is controlling. As everyone above me pointed out, you're fighting for something that isn't there.

It's just that he keeps telling me that he wants it....
and then it goes haywire.

^ It's just that he keeps telling me that he wants it....

- Don't think about what he wants. In the long run, he's probably not doing the same with you. Thats why its so easy for him to throw you away like a tissue and then get you back whenever he wants. You really do need to look out for yourself. And the longer you keep playing this game with him, like everyone else has said, it's going to be more difficult and hurt so much more.

Thanks guys, for all the advice. I know what I need to do.... it's just really hard. Today is a good day *knock on wood* and he seems to care about me.

Maybe he is changing... I had one of my friends talk to him....

*staggers backward from blow*

Thanks...

That was a reality check.

Yeah.... it's okay. You're only doing what's best for me.

I dumped him today.

UI have been in a similar relationship. I loved this guy with everything i had, and no matter how much he messed up i'd find a way to amke it my fault and when he'd ask to try again, i would. Me and him were engaged, which i realize now was probably one of the biggest mistakes i have made. I finally got the courage to just end it completly. I hurt for a while, and it took a while to get strong enough to turn him down when he asks to get back to gether, but it has gotten better and i have realized how much better i am with out him controling me all the time. And i have just accepted that even though i know i could have spent the rest of my life with him, i know now that it was only becasue i was seeing what i loved in him and not who he really was.

not sure if this really helps, but i hope it does.
*Bianca

Yea, I know kinda how you feel. I just kept taking him back over and over after he was the one who dumped me all those times before. but I finally got so fed up with him that I dumped him on sunday. and that same day he starts dating the other girl he tried to use before to get over me. She is so blind! ugh. he's only using her.

I know... I honestly feel so much better. And it's great like in the halls he sees me and we lock eyes and he will just like glare me down like he's pissed that I finally caught on to his little plan. I'm so proud of myself. =D

I TOTALLY agree with Amanda. when i finally broke up with my ex who did the same thing as yours, he would glare at me when he came to visit the school. and when i smiled back at him he stopped glaring and started staring at me like he was sad...almost like...dang, she's finally actually over me =p it feels amazing.

Well done on finally getting out of his game, it's never easy but it saves later ache. people can say they will change but 9 times out of 10 don't or it's a change ever the slightest that isn't enough and that won't last.