She's Just Not That Into You - The 7even Deadly Signs

** I just got such a kick out of this and wanted to share it.

Here are a few signs to let you know that you're a little less than desired by your chosen woman of interest:

The first three signs fall into the category of "MONKEY BUSINESS". There is clearly something funny, but you just can't quite put a finger on it.

See No Evil: The most essential aspect of human interaction is eye contact. The eyes often hold many mysteries, and a glimpse into one's psyche, some would even say a glimpse into the soul. A loss or decline in this ocular exchange can occur at any stage in the dating game, but regardless of when it happens it's usually evidence of at least one of a few possible things. A woman who refuses or ceases to lock eyes with you is clearly hiding or avoiding something. It's quite possible that a long gaze could signal a sincere interest, and since she's not interested she avoids starring into your eyes to avoid being misleading. Or she could be refusing eye contact simply because something or someone else has her attention. A woman who is interested in you jumps at a chance to be captured in your gaze. She wants to feel adored and to know that you are focused on her.

Hear No Evil: Chances are you may have progressed beyond the initial courting stages; you've probably gone out a few times. Now suddenly your attempts to arrange outings are always meet with opposition, when the dates are left open with no definitive answer as to whether or not they will actually occur. Then again you could've made it through the planning and arranging stage, but somehow just before the date is to take place something just happens to come up. Now, don't get me wrong, we are all entitled to change a date or cancel here and there, things happen. But, if this is a constant reoccurrence, then maybe, just maybe "she's just not that into you."

Speak No Evil: Fellas, if you've ever been in this situation or meet this woman, believe me you'll know it. This woman's conversation is "off the damn chain", oh she works the mouthpiece, and will have yo' ass drifting off into never-never land, just imaging what other ways she can work it. The general conversation is on point, but just so happen you spark up a serious conversation about the two of you. You will think you just walked into a legal proceeding, and I advise you to have your lawyers on deck. Because while speaking to her, she'll answer, but you'll think you're simply holding a conversation with her representative. Answers that typically garner an easy and definitive response, will possibly only earn you a sketchy, "let me get back to you." If you manage to get more of a response than this, please believe it will be vague, ambiguous, and a clear sign that she's not interested.

The next three fall into the category of "That AT&T / Cingular Merger", and we all know things just weren't quite the same after they joined forces:

Transferred Call: If this hasn't happened yet, just wait, wait on it, wait on it, don't worry it's about to happen, as soon as you inquire about the possibility of there being something more than the casual dating that to two of you have been involved in. You'll probably be hit with a line that sounds a little something like this: "I'm just not ready for a relationship right now, or I just got out of a relationship, and right now I'm just trying to do me." Okay fellas, we mastered this diverting tactic many moons ago, so it should sound very familiar to you when you hear it. Same rules apply, so when you hear this line, you know she simply means she's not interested in pursuing a relationship with you.

Call Waiting: So you have been diligent in your pursuit, as well you should have, you're the hunter and you're on the prowl. However, if your advances have been in the form of unanswered or unreturned calls, this would be the appropriate time for you to spin the wheel, buy a vowel, and solve the damn puzzle. Now keep in mind that generally speaking you will probably be the one making the most phone calls, but if she never calls, or the only time she calls is in response to one of your several missed calls, you clearly aren't important to her. You haven't been on her mind, and she has been avoiding you because she's not interested.

Busy signal: Okay, so your advances have been met by opposition, but you are still trying. Up to this point you've taken everything that has been given at face value, and you're attempting to convince yourself that something of substance can exist between the two of you if you would just be patient. Stop lying to yourself. This overextended pursuit was over at hello. You just chose to ignore the signs. Chances are the reasons for all of the missed engagements, phone calls, and lackluster interaction is being blamed on how busy her life is. We are all busy, everyone is hustling and grinding to make a better life, but when we find someone that interests us, we make room for them in our busy lives. Don't assume she is lying when she says she so busy. She probably is extremely busy with all of the things that matter in her life, which doesn't include you.

The seventh and final deadly sign falls into a category all it's own, and we'll simply call it:

The MapQuest Speech: Go ahead break out the Lenny Williams, Jodeci, Anthony Hamilton, or whoever your favorite "sob" artist is and you might as well fix yourself a stiff drink because this one might hurt a bit. When this speech is levied, you'll feel as though you just got beamed with the proverbial 90 mph love ball. This is the who's who of kick rocks speeches. She might as well had pulled Soulja Boy out her pocket just for him to say "yah trick yah." You'll feel as though you are searching for Waldo when she postures about how she's "searching for herself", and using statements like "I'm trying to find me."

Believe me, I understand we all go through life altering experiences at different stages in life, but anyone who values you and has a sincere interest in you won't lay this load of crap at your feet. If you receive this "one hitter quitter", it was a 90 mph love ball, and at this point you might as well pick what self esteem and respect you have left up and quietly walk off the field. My friend...the game is over.

Fellas, if you find yourselves in a situation that remotely resembles any of the signs, use your best judgment to discern whether you should move on or continue with your pursuit. If the instances are rare, she might just be worth the wait, but if she's a habitual offender, she clearly does not hold you in high esteem. In her eyes you are probably just an option as opposed to being a preference. I would encourage you to have just a lil' self-respect and refuse to be any woman's "plan B". This game may have ended, but in the burning metropolis, the female to male ratio is about 6 to 1, so suit up once more and realize that there is still grass on field.

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