Signs You're in the Supermarket of the Future

- pie, everyone loves pie! Apple pie, beef and mushroom pie, pumpkin pie, assorted rodent pie, shepard's pie, grandma pie....
- some cuts of meat will try and talk you out of buying them. Others will try and sell you something else
- Heinz canned soups are made from 100% recycled newspaper; and some soup.
- at the checkout you're asked to choose between paper, plastic and laser monkey. You know, for carrying your groceries? Never mind.
- thanks to advances in genetic engineering you will have to harpoon the potatoes
- due to slow sales, the squirrel and sour cream doritos line has been cancelled.
- canned dolphin is now tuna friendly
- shoplifters are escorted straight to the smallgoods/deli section for processing. Soylent Theef- feed criminals to poor people. That's a good thing.

If no one adds to this thread, I swear I'll turn it into a poem.

You have been warned.

....

You better turn it into a poem, I didn't get all that! Tell us what you mean.

The future is a wondrous and alarming place. I'm not planning on being surprised when I get there so I'm preparing for every potential outcome now.
It is generally agreed upon that things are steadily getting worse, and they are putting lips and lungs in pies already, for instance. It's natural to assume that some kind of rodent pie is only a matter of time.
I'm not saying we will have sentient and malevolent potatoes, I'm saying we might.
Snackfood companies experiment with flavours all the time. Why not something small with a bushy tail?
The Earth is becoming more crowded, and humans can be depressingly resourceful at times.
Imagine the possibilities! And perhaps, like me, die a little on the inside.
Personally I'm looking forward to the laser monkeys, though.
Hope that clears it up.

Yeah lots...
so, you want me to add...

You are in the supermarket of the future when:
There is a whole isle for birth control.
You can buy all flavoured jelly beans like in harry potter where you can even buy liver flavoured jelly beans-yukh-and yet more importantly we might start living on the roast beaf flavoured ones.
You get followed by a micro robot you can't see and when you get to the door you hear something beep behind you.
The floor has secret scensors that can tell everything about you including what you had for breakfast and when you had your last shower.
The supermarket litterally comes to you cuz you can't move and yet people working in it have to do situps while they serve you.
Everything has some kind of identifier, for instance your credit card has a DNA test installed so nobody but you can use it.

That's right! Supermarkets have legs but ours have dropped off in the next great evolutionary, um, leap. So to speak. Bear with me, this will get strange.
- Hooligan shopping trollies harrass old ladies, trying to steal their wheels. 'Cos we all have wheels instead of legs now, right? Orright.
- The sun is blotted out thanks to pollution, but you can buy cans of Ultra Violet rays. Found next to the jars of Vitamin Dirt.
- The question "Why?" is phased out and replaced with the more popular and easier to answer expression, "Huh?"
- You're only allowed a certain quota of breaths each day because of the pollution. If you run out you have to buy more from the shop. Or hold your breath till the next morning.
- Happiness is banned because happy people tend to take deeper breaths.
- Exercise, banned. Laughing, banned. In fact, all jokes and funny looking people are banned.
- A Singularity Tax is introduced, where everyone is taxed an infinite sum of money. If you can't pay, you go to prison. Or the deli section of your local supermarket. (see above, end of first post)
- You can still smoke, but now cigarrettes only come in suppository form.
- Yes, the future is looking bright. But not too bright. There's a tax on it.

I can't wait