Poems for my girlfriend.. I need help..

I would be grateful if you read my poems and gave me some advice, I don't see myself as a poet, it's just I try to write what goes on in my mind sometimes.. And I'm planning to put them in a book for my girlfriend, she hasn't read them yet.. so will you help me here guys.. thanx again :)

I had a go at re-wording 1 see if you like it
=]

Thank you :))