Lost Love :( how do i recover??

So the story starts in june of 2007. i was working at a veterans hospital in the city and met the most amazing guy. he happened to live in northern kentucky and i in southern ohio. we fell so hard for eachother and were together for a year and 7 months. if you go on my poems, you can read all about him... but neways, he was my whole world for so long and the week before our second valentines day together we mutually brok up. :( i thought it was just another fight like "maybe we shouldnt be together! fine maybe not!!" and then a few days later, we would be okay, but when i called him back, he said he didnt want to get back together :( he said he was having fun without me and needed time to miss me. he wants to get back together in the future and says he loves me but just doesnt want to be together now.

here is my delima...

if he loves me, why doesnt he want to be with me?
get back together later? how much later? do i wait? do i move on? is he really coming back or just trying to let me down easy? i dont get it...

after the break up he still called and everytime it cut me deeper. it was so hard to hear him so happy and know it wasnt with me. he would say baby i love you so much and i would ball because i love him so so much but he doesnt want me. whats wrong with me? i dont understand... i told him that i couldnt talk to him anymore and to call when he is ready to get back together cuz it was too hard to talk everyday and give my all to him knowing i was getting nothing in return.
was i right to say dont call? idk...

thank you for taking the time to read this.. its so long and i could go on forever..

This tends to happen alot in relationships.
Some relationships just need to pause. Most relationships just suddenly break.

This sounds more like the pause relationship, give it time he's probably thinking over on what he needs best. It is probably you, it could be someone else. If he cannot be truthful let it go ~ i wish you luck :]

Give him time to think.
Don't wait around for him though, you're life doesn't have to wait, if he can have fun without you then trust me you can have fun without him.
You were right in telling him not to call. This is a natural reaction to getting hurt. Take some time for yourself, he is not the most important thing. Break-ups are for both to find themselves and understand what is true and what is not.
Don't wait around for him and if he calls tell him you need time to yourself. Think about yourself first, this boy is not who you should love the most. Love yourself.

Thank you for taking time to read and respond..

i think my two biggest fears are
1. Him never coming back and me here expecting a day that will never come
2. I move on and the second i do get better and find someone else, he calls and wants to try again...

either way, i get hurt..

i know he needs space and im gonna give it to him. it just hurts so much :(

Its my pleasure :]

Loosing someone is very hard.

That feeling isn't great it does make you weak. You could cover it up in clouds. It may not erase because it may have happened, but it can be forgotten sooner or later.

That is what makes you stronger.

Thats another thing.. do i want to forget? or is it better to embrace the good in the past and try to get over the bad?
this is the first time i have ever had to get over a guy. he was my first love. high school sweetheart.. idk how to deal with it very well.. :(

Thats the hardest part

"2. I move on and the second i do get better and find someone else, he calls and wants to try again..."

when he does, the best thing to do is become friends

What is all the fun he is having without you, that he couldn't have with you? Other girls? If it is other girls, do you really want to be that doormat? "You go out and have fun with those other girls and come home to me when you have time" That doesn't sound very romantic or anything worth waiting around for.

If you decide to move on and he comes back, I don't really see that hurting you because as you said, you would have moved on.

Ok i know this must be hard for you. but there will be much harder things to overcome in the future. i have been set up, and i have even been in a relationship where i thought me and the guy were happy and one day he just "disappears" No matter how many times i try to call him, he wouldnt answer, and no matter how many voicemails i left him, he never called back. listen girl . here is a word of wisdom for you, which is acutally one of my favorite quotes. "No guy is worth your tears, but when you find a guy who is, he will NEVER make you cry." if the guy is hurting you, then he doesnt love you. someone who loves you should not hurt you and you know that if someone did love you then they would not hurt you. they wouldnt even think about it. and what if you get back with him and he makes a habit of it? what if he is just taking breaks only when he feels like he needs something "different" well...i hope i helped you out and if you ever need anything i will always be here to talk to! good luck and do what you think is best for you, not for someone else. it will do you good in the long run. and you could find someone even better in the process!

You were right when you told him to stop calling you ...

i dont want to sound harsh, but move on with your life, if he really loves you, he wouldnt hurt you this way...

he wouldnt leae u hanging... noo... learn something in life... and take it from me as an advice...

dont wait for someone who aint gna wait for you...
apparently he aint waiting for you...
there are other fishes in the sea and better ones

take care and keep your head held high...

Thank you all for your advice. it was so much needed. and i appreciate every word. its hard to go through this because its the first and only relationship i have been in. its totally foreign waters here. but ill get through it thanks to the great advice and all the support i have around me. :)

I can't imagine if you were that good together if it was 'just another fight' where you basically threaten to break up.
Personally, that just doesn't ever come up in a happy relationship.
It's like emotional blackmail using that line with one another trying to get them to see your point of view.

Forget about him and have a good time without him.

This sounds like some bull****!
I think it's that kinda thing where he doesn't
wanna lose you, but doesn't really want to
keep you either..

And who says "I need time to miss you" ??
that's stupid!