Abandonment Issue! please help

I never met my father. He abandoned me before I was even born and this has played a big toll on my life and my feelings. I had my mom contact him a few years back and we talked about getting a paternity test. He said he was going to call but never did. I wrote a letter to his job(only address I have) and no response. I tried to convince myself that maybe he just didn't receive it. So I finally decided to call his job and leave a message. I thought that Maybe me calling would somehow make him care. and he did call back. He asked me when I was going to go over there so I thought he cared. He said he was going to call back but never did. Now I've noticed I've been very emotional and mean towards my boyfriend and I feel so bad because he truly is a good person. I know he loves me but I feel like I'm pushing him away and I feel so bad. I don't know what to do. How do I get over this abandonment. I know i'm acting this way because of my father. I just don't know how to stop the pain. Please help me and give me advice. I would really appreciate it.

Okay so if your father is just ignoring you, forget about him. He clearly doesn't care enough to talk to you. He adbandoned you. He clearly doesn't care. So just forget about him, and go back to your boyfriend. Explain to him why you've acted like this and that kind of thing.
Just stop bothering to do something with your father. He is showing that he isn't interested.

Its never easy, that feeling of the unknown. Would he have loved me just the way I am? Questions like this have no answers......but still you will wonder. It hurts to know that something you shoud've had is missing. You never feel whole. You are different then most, you know what it is to have true pain in your life. Others may speak of it but you know with everything you are how dark sorrow really is. Its ok to cry, to feel weak and unloved. But there are those who do love you. Those who have and will be there for you if he can't or won't. No one can change the past and the future is uncertain. I can't tell you nor anyone what they should do or how to deal with things in life. I can only say that as dark as life can be....one must seek light no matter how fading it is.

Ouch, that can be rough try to not take your anger out on the ones your really love. much harder said then done. as 4 ur dad hes not worth it if hes gonna be a jerk.

I have no clue about your question....

- But I understand how you feel. My father did almost the exact same thing. And when I got his attention and was with him a few times all I did was get hurt and abused. So be happy that you don't have to worry about that. Be glad you have a boyfriend and a family that loves you. Always think of the positives!!! It makes everything better. =]