Advise needed, regrets possible

  • Zaine
    15 years ago

    I left my BF Steve Jan 16th, he was truly breaking my heart thinking i was cheating on him because i had made some new friends. He had a problem every time i started hanging out with some new friends, usually it would end up that i couldn't hang out with them anymore because he got into some sort of argument with them. So I told him I didn't want him to meet these new friends unless he could handle accepting them as my friends. So he never got to meet them. He then set up this test to see if I would cheat on him with his cousin this one night and it failed horribly. I didn't do any cheating but I did start talking to his cousin about one of my new friends Paul. Suddenly steve ran out from the other room and started yelling about how i liked paul and stuff and then he left intending on leaving me right there. we worked it out over the next week. This all happened b4 the 16th, on the 16th i asked steve if we could go on a 2 week break. That night I was at a concert with paul and some of my other friends and I txt steve telling him about the temporary break. So in the end it only took a week for steve to call me and say he knew it was over between us and that I should just date paul. I ended up dating paul, and still am dating. But I miss steve so much, i can't help but think that we could have worked through it and that I was wrong to have given up. Steve has a GF and I have a BF and steve tells me his family dosen't like me for what happened. so its pretty much to late to go back and try again. I didn't want the temp break up to be permanent, i had fun and i was happy having that time with paul but he only showed me a good time, he didn't show me the love that steve showed me. and now i wonder if steve really loved me as much as i loved him during the relationship. And now steve says his life is so much better, he is with a girl who is athletic and skinny and has a bigger chest and she got a job where he works. that makes me wonder how happy he rly was with me. I mean, he would tell me all the time how happy he was with me, but if he is happier now does that mean that I wasen't any help to him at all? I didn't help him in life at all? isn't that a big part of dating someone and loving them? Being able to care for them? How do I know I did that at all if he is happier with this girl he has only known for a month?

  • Its a love story
    15 years ago

    Just dont worry about him. he is your ex for a reason. and as long as you are happy with paul then that is all that matters. please do a comment on mine. it is titled "moving in?"

  • Zaine
    15 years ago

    I'm happy with paul in ways. But He isn't sweet and caring like steve was with me. Steve would have done anything for me, paul won't eve come with me to my parents house for breakfast. Or late at night when i'm sick paul dosen't roll over to help me, he whines that he was slightly woken up. Steve would have rolled over and cared about me. I feel like i'm ready for the temporary break to be over but its been over and there's no going back.

  • Zaine
    15 years ago

    Is it wrong for a girl to want to be cared for? I mean when anyone loves another person don't they show it by making the one they love happy? I'm very open to how Paul wants to live his life, i just tell him when i'm really down and depressed that I need him. I leave it up to him if he wants to be there for me or not. its still early in the relationship, and i'm not 15 i'm 19. I haven't updated this account in awhile x.x

  • sian
    15 years ago

    Hey there hunny it sounds like your in a bit of a mess here. You dont sound partically happy with paul but remember that your ex didnt make you very happy either, he sounded jealous insecure and controling. Nobody deserves to be put constantly under suspicion and I know how it feels btw. At the end of the day the saying 'the grass is always greener on the other side' is very true. If I were you I'd definately forget your ex because his type of feelings dont just dissapear over night and if paul isnt doing it for you either then maybe forget him too (and I dont mean a break, they make people even more insecure wondering what the other is doing whilst they are not together)
    Go find yourself a nice guy completely unconnected to either of these two guys and start again. Best of luck sweetheart I hope things work out for you. sian x

  • Zaine
    15 years ago

    Thats good advise, but its hard x.x thank you i'll do my best

  • sian
    15 years ago

    I know exactly how you feel, somtimes love is so intoxicating that its impossible to think. a person can be horribly bad for you and yet you just cant leave them alone, i once had the feeling that I was attached to a string, every time my ex said 'im sorry, I wont do it again (cheat) I love you' Id come running back pulled by his little strings. eventually something snapped and I thought 'what the hell am I doing I deserve better' and I cut all contact. Im not saying that that is the best choise here, but maybe join some new clubs like a sport meet different kinds people and enjoy yourself. Also talk to your friends about your problems Maybe then it wont be quite so hard to deal with, knowing that you have somebody on your side.

  • Zaine
    15 years ago

    Its hard, all my friends are friends with either my new bf Paul or my old BF Steve, and i don't want to get paul upset by talking to my friends with steve. paul dosen't want me talking to even steves cousin which has been my friend for so long.

  • sian
    15 years ago

    I have to agree with sluvious. you need to love yourself first before you can offer to love anybody else. You may hate this idea, but if you cant talk to your friends because of paul or steve then why dont you talk to a family member, mum or dad, ur bro or sis, aunty (u know wat Im getting at) you may think that they wont care, but they will have perhaps gone through something simular and offer a shoulder to cry on. Lastly,many people feel like they must not be single, if you think you may fall into this catagory, you dont NEED a relationship to make you happy and our happiness should never rely on one person because thats when you become very unhappy with yourself.

  • Starlight
    15 years ago

    This is very interesting lol

  • Twisted Mind Broken Soul
    15 years ago

    He is your ex for a reason. If someone does not make it to your furture there is a reason for it!!! So dont worry about him

  • Aimz
    15 years ago

    You need to finish with Paul in my opinion. You obviously don't like him as much as you're trying to make out.
    You need to be on your own and work out what you want in your life. Concentrate on school and sort your own head out.

    It seems to me, from your posts, that you NEED a boyfriend in order to feel complete. That should not be the case at 15. You need to develop yourself before worrying about love and sex and relationships.

  • Zaine
    15 years ago

    <----not 15 ^^; born 1990

  • Starlight
    15 years ago

    Hey, i just ordered 2 plane tickets to Paris. I thought you know, you would like to come along.

    It will be very romantic.

    lol.

  • Its a love story
    15 years ago

    ^^^^^^it makes me so angry when people come on here and trust people to give them advice and all the people do is tear them apart and make fun of them. why cant we all act mature for a change and quit making fun of people? I mean come on people...grow up and treat people like you would like to be treated

  • sliim
    15 years ago

    I think you should give relationships a rest & foucs on you, you are your main priorety do wat u need to do in ur life enjoy the single life a while

  • Christianna
    15 years ago

    ^^^ I agree. You might feel better giving yourself a short break before starting another relationship. Hang out with girlfriends and enjoy life being single.

  • Starlight
    15 years ago

    It was actually a compliment.

    Every person deserves a day off

    So i think this world would be a wonderful place
    if everyone was quiet so we all could hear

  • Elizabeth
    15 years ago

    "That day will come when people learn things for themselves."

    ^ True to that!

  • Its a love story
    15 years ago

    Well...may i make it clear that i did say something regarding this post...it is at the very top

  • Its a love story
    15 years ago

    ^my name was ShAyLa MaRiE. but i recently changed it to shayla loves harley...see it now?

  • Elizabeth
    15 years ago

    "Well...may i make it clear that i did say something regarding this post...it is at the very top"

    Then why not stick to that, hmm?

  • Its a love story
    15 years ago

    ^^"I guess she feels that her opinion is the only one that matters."

    undoubtly you feel that way too. cause correct me if i am wrong, you are the one that told me to answer according to topic. i simply showed you that i did answer according to the topic at the top of the forum. and it seems to me that you arent answering to the "topic" that the girl asked either. you shouldnt tell a member of P & Q not to do something if you do it to...just remember, when you point your finger, you have 3 more pointing back.