Unsure

I wrote this poem a while ago and i think it's alright, but something is wrong with it, and i have no idea what! i'll return the favor at least with one - depending on how helpful the comment is, could u check it out and comment?
it's called "twice broken"

thanks a lot
-azii

p.s. oh and if u have any better suggestion for the title, i'd be thankful if u included it in your comment, thanks agen

PLEASE REVIEW "BORN OUT OF BALANCE"