When your best friend stabs you in the back

Sorry in advance for the long story, but thank you for reading and giving advice. =)

Okay so I'm hugely in love with this boy and we've been dating a couple of times. I've told him how I felt about him, he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship, though he liked me a lot. We decided to remain friends. He's still been giving me signals and stuff, so that made it so hard to get over him. He's so nice and so sweet and with him being like this, I just don't seem to be able to fall out of love with him.

Anyway, he isn't the problem. At all. My "Best Friend" is. She's been flirting with him ever since we've started dating and we've had endless conversations about him and my feelings for him and what he means to me, which comes down to one simple answer: the world. She's told me she wants us to be together and that she really wants me to be happy with him. But how can I when she's always all over him and she's always flirting with him?!

I've told her and asked her to back off a little soooo often and she either says that he's her friend as well and besides, she doesn't mean anything by that, so what's the problem? Or she says sorry it'll never happen again, I'm just a flirt and I'll try to watch it from now. I always forgive her, because she's my best friend.

Well... last time it was REALLY bad. We were out, clubbing and that guy was dancing with me and it seemed like he really liked me and stuff and my "Best Friend" took him away and just left me out there alone, because she wanted to be alone with him. I was so angry with her! I know, ho's over bro's, friends come before boyfriends, but in this case... I just don't know.

Since that incident, where I spent all night alone, basically I've been so angry with her and whatever she said to me... I don't know, I "forgive" but I don't forget a single detail. I haven't totally forgiven her, that's for sure.

Lately she's been meeting up with him and hanging out with him and she doesn't tell me a bit, when she knows how I feel about him. She's actually LYING about it. I once saw her going to his house and I asked her where she was and she said she was at home. I've confronted her with her behaviour and she said she feels bad for me and so she does it behind my back so I won't see it. But I see EVERYTHING and I have friends who tell me they've seen them together. I've actually read somewhere that her close friend said she had a secret boyfriend and I'm kinda thinking she meant that guy.

Okay, it now seems like it's all just about this boy, but really it's not the entire problem. She's not been telling me anything anymore, we don't talk anymore, we don't get together anymore and basically, I feel so replaced by that guy. I'm getting over him, I'm trying to forget him, because it's just brought me this shizz, but it's hard. Because with losing him, I've lost my best friend. That's what it feels like.

What should I do? Forget her, or just swallow everything she does? Talking doesn't help, she follows her own plans and she doesn't care who she hurts.

Wow, sounds like one of my ex-friends. Emphasis on the EX.

Whenever me and my friend went out anywhere, and she saw a guy she thought was cute, she would flirt her brains out, acting (sorry to say this, but kinda slutty). I always stood back in the background, rolling my eyes and shaking my head, feeling insignificant next to her and ignored by her.

Then when there was a guy that showed a little bit more interest in me, than her, like the day I met my current boyfriend (we didn't start dating until like a year after we met.) Anyway, he showed more interest in me than in her, and after she tried all her tricks to get close to him, she got mad and wouldn't talk to either of us.

So yeah.. I know where you're coming from. Different situations, but same thing in the end.

"What should I do? Forget her, or just swallow everything she does?"

^Well, that's up to you.

As you said, "talking doesn't help, she follows her own plans and she doesn't care who she hurts."

If talking doesn't help then she's most likely not going to change. So its up to you whether you put up with it or find a friend who actually acts like a friend.

I ageree its ur choice if u wanna still wanna be "friends" with her not. You can only tlk to some one so much bout what they are doing is really bothering & hurting you. You can't help someone change if they don't wanna change for themselves. She wasn't a real true friend of yours to begin with, she has no care in the world if she's back stabbing you are not she just cares all about her well being. Just drop & loose all contact with her all together.

"You can only talk to someone so much about what they are doing is really bothering and hurting you."

^Amen to that.

Thanks guys for the advice, it means a lot.

I agree, I should ditch her, she just brings me down.... it's just so hard... Any tips on how to move on? (OMG, it's like I'm breaking up with someone, haha)

If she were a real friend, as far as I'm concerned, when you confronted her about this flirting & asked her to quit with it she would have understood & complied without "slipping up".

Haha, yes, "hos before bros" is normally something that I would remind others of, but that all changes when they become a "ho fo sho". (Yeah, sorry for any confusion, I'm just in a witty & clever mood, so hopefully you get the gist.) It appears that she chose this guy over you. It's her loss.

Just a little while ago, one of my best friends betrayed me; she used me. She laughed like it was a joke & never apologized... I forgave her, but I don't consider her my best friend anymore, don't talk to her often let alone even at all & don't plan to see or hang around with her either.

You can forgive your "friend" too, but that doesn't mean that you have to be best of friends again *snap* just like that. Forgive her, not for her or your relationship. Forgive her, for yourself. Life is too short for hate or grudges and the like.

You're so right.

I invited her to come over today like a couple of days ago and she said she'd make it... And she was 15 minutes late and then texted me: "Hi, I'm not gonna come anymore, I only just woke up and I'm going to do some homework" so all I did was text back: "Whatever you like, x". Maybe a bit harsh, but I don't know... it's how I felt.

I don't see a chance to forgive her with never ever seeing her or talking to her. I will forgive her though, it's just hard to know that it's like 6 years of total waste. She made me lose friends, because she kept me away from them in her attention-whoring behaviour. She always wants to be better friends with someone than me or be closer to someone than me. She's done that with an other friend, she wanted to be closer with me than the other girl, which made me lose my other best friend. She kinda wrecked it all and thinking of this, I really feel I should just not hang out with her no more. It's time to cut the chords