Forgive , or not ?

So heres the story:

I have this friend, and a couple of weeks back we had a fight. I wasnt all too happy because something had happened, and when i told her about it, she laughed. I told her she was selfish and she only looks out for herself, and doesnt care about other people. It was fair intense at the time. We didnt speak for about 2 weeks. And then today she apologised to me. She admitted she was selfish and a crap friend, but i dont know what i should do, whether to forgive her, or not.

If this was just a one time thing, i would have forgiven her, except this has been going on for 2 years id say; ever since her and her boyfriend broke up. Whenever id go to confide in her, she would ignore what i have to say and then tell me about her own life problems then i would have to block out what im feeling and try to help her.

You guys are probably thinking if this is really worth it, and i honestly dont know.

A part of me wants to forgive her, but then a part of me thinks i should continue to ignore her.

anyways, i think thats the whole story, if you would like me to clarify something , ask :)

cindy -

I think ive overlooked everything she has done too many times , so thats pretty much like giving her chances. And i know she wont changecause shes been like this for like 2 years . D:
argh i duno , its so frustrating , and the thing is we are like family friends lol .

Just a little while ago, one of my best friends betrayed me; she used me. She laughed like it was a joke & never apologized... I forgave her, but I don't consider her my best friend anymore, don't talk to her often let alone even at all & don't plan to see or hang around with her either.

You can forgive your "friend" too, but that doesn't mean that you have to be best of friends again *snap* just like that. Unless of course you want to...

Forgive her, not for her or your relationship. Forgive her, for yourself. Life is too short for hate or grudges and the like.

Welllll ,
i forgave her haha
and now we are good friends again xD

^ what you said does make a lot of sense , however i have alrready forgiven her ,
but guess what !
we had another fight , oh fun ..

maybe i wont forgive her this time ..
except everyone knows i forgive people too easily .

And so long as your willing yourself to then the longer this behavior of hers will go on as well as the longer she will use you because of that...

When someone apologizes under their own will, it means they had a change of heart. Therfore the apology is most likely sincere and there is no reason you shouldent take them back as a friend. If you dont fight with your friends then they aren't true friends. You should be able to have a brotherly/sisterly bond almost.

[edit]

"When someone apologizes under their own will, it means they had a change of heart. Therfore the apology is most likely sincere and there is no reason you shouldent take them back as a friend."

^ It's called lying, ever heard of it? Just because a person apologizes doesn't mean they mean it (at that time let alone at all). And besides, didn't you read that after their "first" fight they got into another one again? Yeah, a sincere change of heart my butt. Haha.

Misunderstood Misery gave a prime example, one that I can contribute to. If my boyfriend and I have different opinions on something and are arguing over it, we will apologize, but not because either of us had a "change of hear"; saw that we were wrong and the other right. We apologize simply because we really don't like to argue, we just want to end the argument and don't want to go to bed angry. At the end of the day we still hold our own separate opinions.

"If you dont fight with your friends then they aren't true friends."

^ That doesn't make sense at all. Naturally, friends don't agree on everything, just like you wouldn't with any other person you know or with a stranger. But if you fight constantly how does that make either person a "true friend"? I just don't see your logic in that.

"When someone apologizes under their own will, it means they had a change of heart. Therefore the apology is most likely sincere..."

^Wow, what a bunch of bull. Seriously. You obviously don't know how people work. Or you give them the benefit of the doubt.

When my boyfriend and I fight, I'll apologize first "under my own will", just to end the fight. Not necessarly because I "had a change of heart".

"Friends fight, yes, but it's not supposed to be a constant thing."

^No doubt. If you are fighting constantly, that should alert you that something is wrong with that friendship.

"People can lie, so just because they apologize, means nothing."

^I totally and complete agree.

Hm yeah i agree with what you said above , all of it

however me and my friend do not fight constantly, and we havent fought since i last forgave her ,
so lets just see where things go from there i guess lol

:)

<

Off topic.

That's a beautiful picture & beautiful dress. Grad? Prom? Other? Lol. Just curious.

Lol haha
thank you
it was a formal
lol xD

Welll you can forgive her...
but when ever she talks about her life problems ignore her (just like how she used to do to you)

Lol well i think she has actually changed a bit now ,
so thats good , :)

Okay, well change is always good. But yeah, I'm always a forgiving person but I'll never forget what that person has done. I always keep that in mind and I don't expect much from that person. It's good that your friend changed but change is usually never permanent. In my opinion, people can't change.

It will always take awhile to figure out who should, or shouldn't be in your life. In time, you'll figure it out. Good luck, and just do whatever feels right for you. (:

I think people can change if they have the will to , but then again thats just my opinion also .

anywhoo
today i caught the bus home with the friend i was talking about and yeah , its so much better now .