Indecisive ??!...

I know Im pathetic, but I cant help it...

So I dated this guy for 9 months on and off. We get along well and there is deffinately a connection. But he isn't the type that needs a girl around. Which on more then one occasion lead me to believe he was with someone else. Even though we aren't together, we agreed it would be a mutually exclusive thing. Well a few weeks ago, we had a wierd argument and it was pretty clear things were over.

So I moved on, met a new guy. There is no doubt that we are together. We have long in debth conversations, he is supportive, and we can't get enough of each other.

But then, three weeks later, the guy from the past starts texting me again. At first just random things, and now he is asking me to go to dinner with him. I know I shouldn't go out of respect for the new guy. And I should just stop talking to the "ex" completely. But I want him to want me. He didn't before and wont now. But I wish he did. And I don't know why. Because he will just hurt me. He doesn't care. He never did. Never will. I am constantly on a roller coaster of emotions when I talk to him. Nothing like how it is with the new guy. Who I totally trust and am actually happy with.

Why can't I stop thinking about the old guy? How can I get over it? And no it isnt love. I dont love him. Its just a stupid infatuation. Does anyone know what I am talking about? Or how I get over it?!

Omg girl, i sooooo know what your goin through!! like, its almost creepy! lol.. i was with this guy for a year and a half and we broke up and i started to move on to this new guy and he was amazing.. then the ex started calling wanting to get back together and its hard to do cuz you were around them for so long and in my case, they had a very special part of you but trust me, in the long run its so much better to move on.. and you sound like you are much more happy with this new guy. I think that you should stop talking to the ex completely. thats the only way its going to get any better for you. and if you keep talking to him it could mess up the good potential you have going with this new guy.

You need to just remember that this new guy is good to you, your ex is not. he is stringing you on and continuing to hurt you. the SAME thing happened to me. he would be with me on and off and on and off 6 times...and then the night we broke up i met eric, my boyfriend for almost 8 months now. anyway, about a month into me and eric's perfect relationship, Logan [my ex] started talking to me again. begging me to "hook up" with him [gag] and that he missed me and made a mistake. sometimes guys are really stupid. they notice what they could have had with you once its too late. don't sacrifice your current thing for this loser. he will leave you, and you will have lost both of them. do what is best for you and cut off ties. its ok to talk sometimes, but dont go to dinner with him and be seeing both of these guys at the same time.

I'd just like you to think about how you'd feel if your current bf left you for his ex.
You'd feel horrendous.

So don't do it to him.

Thanks for the advice. But this whole thing has been one of the worst dating experiences of my life. Seriously. I don't know how I got so messed up. After I posted the first one, everything changed in the strangest way:

The whole reason I met the new guy in the first place is because we all go to the same school. And the new guy is cute and tall and everyone knows him. I was interested in him a long time ago, but he wasnt interested in me. So nothing happened. But now he is and, believe me, I know how messed up it is, but I thought I could talk to him for a bit to make the other guy jealous and then want me back. I ended up really liking him though. He is nothing like I thought and he is completely infatuated with me. So I wanted to forget the last guy and see where things went with the new one. But...then my plan started working, my ex got jealous and wanted to go to dinner and stuff, as previously stated, and I went. And I ended up staying the night at his house. We didn't do anything. And in the morning I told the new guy the truth so he would know Im not hidding anything. But from the conversations I had been having with the new guy, I realized things I had never known before. The biggest thing is that my ex actually cared a lot about me. Hes not good with words so he never said it. So I assumed he didnt care. But looking back now, everything he did shows that he actually cared a lot. The new guy is so open though, he flat out tells me he likes me. Its only fair to give him a chance though right? Until I found out that he had dated my best friend two months before me (and they both kept it a secret). And before that, he was with another friend. Which I had totally guessed and he had denied. I was so mad and hurt that he lied though. And today he was supposed to met me after class but didnt show. He called me later to explain that she had wanted to talk and so he got caught up in it. But he insists he just wanted closure with her and he doesnt even want to be friends with her anymore. So now here I am torn between two guys that I really like. And I am so unsure of what to do I just want to give up on it all together. Why is finding a decent guy so hard???!

Obviously he wants you... you always want what you can't have and everyone wants to be wanted, just remember the new guys wants you too, only he wants to keep you around :)