Living Together...

Hi Guys!

I pretty much just want to know how do you get along with someone you live with? In 8 days my boyfriend is moving in, and I am terrified we are going to get sick of being with each other all the time and fight a lot. How do you prevent that?

I have a job and school, so during that time we'll have some time apart, and hopefully he'll find a job quickly after he moves in. So then at least it won't be ALWAYS we're around each other, but is there anything else that we can do? Because the last thing I want is for him to move here and we get in fights all the time and we're miserable.

Share in the household duties, respect that each of you will have annoying little quirks and as said above

"Just because you will be living together does not mean you can't spend time apart"

"hopefully he'll find a job quickly after he moves in"

This situation can lead to resentment, on both sides of the fence actually, so I hope so for you too.

You really get to know someone living together, how it goes depends on the attitude of both parties.

Good luck :)

Yeah, i certainly do hope he gets a job asap, because where he lives now he CANT get a job for 2 reasons: 1) he has no car and the closest store to his house, assuming they WERE hiring, is about 4 miles away. 2) his family works all day long 6 days a week so they can't give him a ride to work. so basically i've been financing us for about 5 months now, because at the beginning he did have a job until he crashed his car. and i know he feels bad about me paying for everything, but sometimes it just happens. i dont resent him for it, i just am tired of being stressed about "how am i going to make this pay check last a week?" and i dont like being stressed, i'm only 18! I should be having fun...

Lol, no i dont plan to play housewife. basically we live 115 miles apart as of now, and where he lives he has no opportunity to ever be even mildly successful. so basically he's moving in so i can save up on gas going back and forth, he can save up, and we're both going to college together starting in August. =]. and basically i love him and i know we're rushing kind of, but i think we can really make it work..

and im NOT a cleaning oriented person, nor is he. but i promised my grandma, who i live with, that we're going to keep our room clean and any other room that we use...so i guess that means i'll HAVE to clean [eww haha], but i wouldnt get mad if he doesnt. i wouldnt if i didnt have to, haha.

"As for living with someone and getting along with them..it comes down to your relationship more so than the proximity of the person. You have to LIKE the person you are with - if you don't, you will go nuts and try to find things to keep yourself busy or damn near cry when you know he is on his way home."

^Ha.. thats how my mom is about my dad. Sad, I know. But I've learned from it in a big way.

"But if you want him to start some laundry or the dishwasher, chances are thats the last thing on his mind unless he's an absolute neat freak."

^I'm seriously glad my boyfriend is a neat freak. He pretty much motivates me to clean. Also, when we take the next step of moving in together, (which is no time soon), I wouldn't be the only one cleaning. (:

Well just a little update for so far, things are going ok. he's had 2 interviews, and target called him back for a 2nd interview that will be monday, so thats good, hopefully he got that job. and he's been cleaning my room while i'm at school everyday, haha, sweet. =p

I'm glad to hear things are going well so far but when I stumbled across you topic I felt it nessesary to comment. My bf and I have been living together for 8 months been dating 7 and known each other 4 years. I'm 19 he's 21.

I'm at the point you described, where i know we're fine but feel like sometimes i can't find that spark. Some tips I can offer...

1) never leave the bathroom door open while in there and never shave your legs, tweeze anything with him around, you both need some secrecy
2) have separated friends. A mutual group is nice but sometimes youll need a escape have a few friends you can go off with and talk to that wont let it gat back to your man.
3) never let yourself take on all household chores he'll grow acuston to it and treat you like his mom.
4) have date nights! nothing expensive or spectacular, go for a walk or something just don't forget to spend time together.
5) Don't constantly spend every moment together, it will tear you apart.

Anyways i love living with mine and im sure you will two just remember why you fell in love in the first place!

Thank you guys so much for your advice. things have been kinda rocky, with the fighting and what not, but yesterday we didn't at all, so that was nice. i think i was just really exhausted for the past couple weeks. its amazing what no sleep will do to you.

on a side topic, do you consider calling a girl "babe" that isn't your girlfriend cheating? or flirting with a girl? i'm just wondering because eric left his emails open on yahoo. i didnt realize i wasnt signed in, because im ALWAYS signed in already so i opened it and yeah. he was calling this girl babe and stuff. i know that he obviously likes me more because he LIVES with me, but still. this was in april that he was doing this. its weird....

I didn't confront him. i didn't want to make a big deal about one word that i shouldnt have even read in emails that i shouldt have opened. thats what i get for snooping...i shouldnt have, i know. but when you see about a million emails to and from one girl, its kinda hard not to wonder WHY.

anyway, the past 2 days no fighting. i think we were fighting to much because i was stressed beyond belief. and then i was on my period, then i was sick, then i hurt my toe [cracked the nail in half, OUCH]. but now i'm feeling good and we are getting along well. =]

I have very tragic news today......remember how eric was flirting in that email i just told you about? well today he confessed to me that he cheated on me with her for 2 months ago between feb and april...and shes only 16. hes 20....he's being sued for stagetory rape.....i didn't break up with him. i could tell back then that something was up...and i can't be mad at him, i care for him so much. i just dont know what to do now. i'm trying to be supportive and have agreed to try to help him out because he made a STUPID mistake...i just dont know HOW to help. =[

any advice? please don't be hard on him, he's been crying all day. i think he knows that what he did was wrong.

I plan on forgiving him fully...it will just take a while. this situation has really broken my heart...i just need to get over this and move on...it just really sucks...=[

Well when i moved in with my boyfriend at first things were fine we hardly ever fought but it was later on when things got bad but i hope that doesnt happen to you.. my problem was my boyfriend was a liar he pretended to be someone hes not and then when his real colors showed he thought i would stick around but hell no i left that mother fucker in a heart beat but yall look nice a happy and sweet in the pic so i think yall will b fine. but one advice to you is to never fight over money cuz the moment you do that its all bad cuz thats wat happened to me. and always give each other space dont be all up in each others faces all the time cuz either you'll want to kill him or he'll want to kill you lol... ))damn im telling you my life story...(( lol

Omg i didnt read the part about the whole sleeping with the minior they until now. omg hell no im sorry i dont care how much i love a guy if he slepted with a minior i couldnt even stand to look at him. yeah that would of be a rap for me. its one thing for a guy to cheat on you yeah i may b able to forgive that but as soon as i hear he slepted with someone under the age of 18 i couldnt even ever talk to him again but thats how i think..

Well we are going to hemet, ca for questioning wednesday when i get home from school. the detective and him talked yesterday on the phone, and she told him that Felicia reported him as raping her. He has proof that he didn't, and so this might all go away after all. I'm still hurt, but i have a feeling that if he doesn't get charged or anything i'll be able to get over this situation much easier then i would if he WAS charged. that's just me though. Yes, he cheated, but i honestly dont think he deserves punishment from the law...

Once a cheater, always a cheater.