Ask a Guy (insight into the male mind)

Hello everyone,

My name is Shaun. I've always been "Dark Savior" and it has no relation to the book. I've been a part of this site for a long time...without actually being a major part of it, if you know what I mean.

This thread is exactly what it seems. You women out there sometimes have questions like "What the hell was he thinking?" or "Why does he do such stupid things!" etc. Well I can give you some insight into why guys do those things, seeing as how I'm a guy.

I know a lot of people ask me a lot of questions about men/boys. I always seem to give pretty good advice and feel that it was time to help out more.

So what it's about is, You can ask me about any experience I had, or if you have a guy friend who you think might like you and you're not sure how to tell..you can ask, any question(as long as they don't break the ToS, they always apply).

So feel free to ask any questions you have for me or about men in general.

Regards,
Shaun

ToS?

Terms of Service. In other words don't break the rules that are posted on the site.

Ah. Gotcha.

Yeah, it's kind of a bad thing if you break them. No one really wonders what a guy is thinking from time to time? hmmmm perhaps I over estimated us guys in thinking that women don't understand us? or even other guys don't understand other guys.

^ Very good answer. It helps to look at it with an open mind & understanding, not with one of a closed-mind & prejudice.

Yes, that is true. But I understand why "Dark Savior" started this thread because it seems a lot of girls on here are asking about what they should do about a certain guy etc. And sometimes they're looking for a guy's opinion.

^ No one questioned his reasons. Just responding in reference to things said or giving a different opinion.

^ ^ yep. If you have a question i'll try my best to answer it. I spent two years studying human behavior as well. A lot of times it doesn't come down to you as your body parts or anything, it comes down to your morals, a lot of people base a lot of their decisions on morals.

I think everyone knows that guys have a different view on things then women, it's just sort of a guys view of things instead of a woman's view. That's it, that's all.

I also know that it's not meant to 'down' me or put the 'thread' down. I know no one questions my intentions, just a little bit of help never hurt anyone, honest truth might, but never help.

"...just a little bit of help never hurt anyone, honest truth might, but never help."

^ Haha, isn't that the truth. :P

"I think everyone knows that guys have a different view on things then women."

^ Which brings me back to what I'd said earlier. In one thread someone made the statement that women are more sensitive; have more feelings; are more susceptible to pain, than men. Which is downright ridiculous. That's why I mentioned that it helps to look at it with an open mind & understanding, otherwise no one will benefit from the insight you or any other guys bring to the thread if they already have a close-minded or a prejudice opinion. :)

Well, I don't come to any table and judge based on how they look. If you take the time to get to know me, i'm one of the most sensative people that you will know. I cry, I laugh, I run, sweat, jump, bleed, feel pain. Guys can be sensative and No, they don't have to be gay to be that way(i'm not, not that it's wrong).

I'm open when it comes to a lot of things. Chavalery isn't dead, it's just really hard to find at period, male or female it's hard to find.

I know that some of the most romantic quotes you've heard are from men. A lot of guys also hide their sensitive side...because they don't want to let people know they are hurt *shrugs* I'm just open about it to those people who are close to me, those who I let in, to like my 'circle' of friends.

^ I wasn't trying to say that you weren't open or that you judge, just in case that's what you thought or if you were offended. I don't want there to be a miscommunication, haha.

It's good that you don't judge and that you are open, that will keep this thread alive. But what I was trying to say was that I hope that when girls come to ask you and other guys their questions; about guys, a guy or their guy, that they are just as open & understanding and are not close-minded or prejudice. Otherwise they won't benefit or learn from the answer they receive. :)

^ ^ both of you are very right.

I know that each person in a relationship is just that, a person. I'm not going to say that I can read a few sentences and say that I know the person, but it does help to have a guys look at things.

Lying to the person who you're in a relationship with is the worst thing that you can do. Communication is what gives you the ability to go the distance. I've had a lot of high caliber women who've been great. I've also had my share of women who are not that great personally, morally, and emotionally.

1) you should never try to change a person on their morals, they are what make them who they are.

2) why would you want to? only thing I would change is "STOP LEAVING YOUR UNDERWEAR ON MY PILLOW!" hehe not from experience but you get the point right?

I personally wouldn't want another person who I was able to mold at my will, I want a strong woman, ambitious, caring, very head strong, motivated. I don't want to get a woman with none of these traits and then try to mold them. If you do then you will end up wasting time and energy. That is why you go on a date, you find out some about each other and figure if you want to go on another one this is what I used dates for, a lot of people just meet them to see if the other person looks good, which is up to you; I don't do that.

I also very much liked you quote bob, "Life is so easy, it is humanity that complicates it" it's so true It really drives home the point as well.

I have a question I'd like to ask.

Ok, so there's this guy that I like at my work and I've liked him ever sence I started working there (almost 7 months). But I found out that he started dating this other girl, who also works with us. They've been dating now for atleast 3 or 4 months. I've always wanted to tell him how I feel, but I'm afraid that if I do tell him, it'll cause drama and other crap at work. But in my heart, I feel like it's the right thing to do...to let him know how I've been feeling. What should I do?

^ haha.

Yeah, I don't think you should tell him at all, because what would be the point when he has a girlfriend already? Your going to put yourself in an arkward situation and possibly 'cause unnecessary drama.

After looking at bobs post... Like five times and wondering exactly what it was he was posting haha I agree with him "the quickest way to a broken heart is to let feelings in your heart remain inspoken"

I mean I have to agree that you will feel better after telling him this, but make sure that you add something similiar to this you can put your own spin on I. If you say anything we tell you then he will know youre thinking about it and also that others might know...and you don't want him to think that you told everyone you work with because it will make him feel awkword. Oh, right the additional thing " I still value our friendship and hope that we can remain as friends, just as we were before. It's just something that I felt I had to tell you"

You might want to mention that you still want to remain friends and that you want to keep work professional that way he knows that you also want to keep in contact and as well wish for work to not mix with personal.

Sorry about the late reply I had to stay in bed the past week or so.....got really sick.

I hope that this helps you.

>_<
Alrighty.
It all started when I danced with this kid I met from track. >_> I started to like him, blah blah blah. He is a grade lower than I am though, so I never saw him. And when I did. I would get butterflies like crazy. I would smile, and it would sort of make my day. Then I started seeing him around in the hallways more often.. So I would just walk out of my class and roam the halls, going to where I would see him. And when I did see him, his face would seem to light up, and he would just say hi. So then one day, I was just bored, and looking through one of his friends' myspaces. and I found him. So I added him, then everyday I would look to see if he accepted me.. and when he did I was happy beyond happy. haha. Then one day we were both on at the same time. Naturally I was freaking out, and we just talking. Then I guess it was a few months later.. I just came back from a field trip, it was after school, I saw him, and asked to talk to him. I told him, his friends had been bothering me about going out with him, and I wanted to know from him, what was really going on.. then We ended up going out that same day... 5 days later I found out he cheated on me! >_< It's like are you effing kidding me? >_> I liked you so much you .... But anyways, then I guess about a month and some days we were talking again... then he asked me out again.. and I said yes. A week later, I told him I liked his friend, and that I was sorry, but I thought he would rather hear from me then his friend. (Yes I know it's a bad thing) we tried working things out. I told him, I like the thought of you, you are like a dream to me. Maybe I should just wake up... so in the end it was over. >_< I called him a douche bag. hehe. ^_^ he is though. *shrugs* then I ended up saying sorry. >_> he writes his status in spanish you see... Me, being the curious person I am, I translate them on the internet.. and sometimes I wonder if they are about me.. >_< I acually forgot what I was going to ask.. haha. hmmm. *thinks hard* aha! okay, so when we were talking on the phone when we were trying to work things out, I guess he thought we were going to make it.. haha. so he asked, what were we going to do when the school year came, we are going to different schools, maybe we should take a break? I asked, do you move on fast? he said yes. I said, this is what is most likely going to happen... you will move on, and I will stay here, still liking you. >_< and for the most part, here I am. still waiting to wake up from my dream... should I tell him that I still like him?

sorry this involved making you read a book.

So I have a question..

What does it mean when a guy says that they are "drawn in by you"?

Is that just him wanting to get some, as my friend says (who is jealous) or what?

^ hmm, I think that just means that he's attracted to you and like, really wants to get to know you more. I don't think he wants "some", unless he has that kind of reputation then you should just know.

In my opinion, I think it's a good thing. Just get to know him more.

Thanks. That's what I was thinking but wasn't sure.

^^^
I agree.

In my mind, if that is his way of introducing himself to you, starting off the conversation, if he has a reputation or you know he uses that line for that purpose of getting some, then he might be. Or, he's just very confident, lol.

If he takes the time to talk to you or you've know him for a while and then he tells you that he's "drawn in by you", then it sounds like he's genuinely interested.

In any case, whether he's trying to "get some" or not, that doesn't mean he's going to get it. That's for you to decide; you can blow him off or give him a chance and make him wait so you can see if he is genuinely interested; persistent and sticks around or not. :)

<_> Ignore mine. I figured it out already. lol

Okay, so my crush and I were talking one day. We talked about dating...he said he didn't want to over the summer because he'd be gone and didn't want to hurt me...you think things will work out when school starts? He's away at baseball camp for the next few weeks...do you think he really cares and really wants to have a relationship?