Cheated On..

I know my girlfriend was cheating on me, I can just tell. Well, she told me that she fell in love with her friend and they have been together and like did stuff. (not sex) Well, then she told me that she still loved me and didn't want me to go. she said that she hoped this wouldn't effect our relationship or change anything between us. But how could it not change? and how could you love 2 ppl, I mean really. I don't think she knows what she wants anymore and I don't know what to do. I love her, I always have but even though love is a very powerful thing, it's also the thing the makes you the weakest in the heart. This hurt to know what she done...with someone else.. but I don't want her to go and also not just to keep me around as like some sort of back up. I said I forgave her but she ignored dealing with her choice, me or her friend. If she made a choice there would be some sort of progress. If she wanted me this could somehow just be something we'll work through and in turn be closer but if not me, she'll at least be happy with being with her friend like that. She won't tell me what she's thinking, or wants, or needs, or feels other than she still loves me from time to time. ugh, what do I do?

She said that she does love her, and they...they love each other. You can't just fall out of love, only learn to live w/o and I don't want to cause her any unhappiness, all I want is her to be happy. She said,"I don't want to hurt you anymore, I'll only love you and I just want to hear those 3 words come from you, I'm sorry." She seems sincere but there's another factor...we live pretty far apart, like 4 hour drive kind of distance w/o stopping. We've actually been together since July 7th of last year. It's hard to believe that she'd just love me..we may not even meet again. So, there she has a new girlfriend over there that can actually be close to her and she said that they loved each other, why would she stop something that sounds so great for me, someone that may not ever be by her side, within sight? She's actually 2 yrs older than me but can't make a choice. She says that sometimes I seem like the older one since I'm the one keeping this relationship and tring but I don't know how long I can. For only one person to give an effort on a relationship only causes more hurt and isn't much of one. She said that she needs me, that I'm the one she relys on. There's such pressure on me I may make some mistake I'll regret later in life. I love her and try as I might to believe her that she'll only love me...that's such a stretch, even if we could be together like normal couples. I think right now I'm kinda just getting out my feelings here and thoughts to think it through. But it may be best to let her go...ugh, my heart ached just writing those words. Maybe it's best to let her love someone else so that she won't miss out and won't hurt holding on to something that may not be. It took her cheating on me for me to realize this, that's sad. Sometimes I wonder if she really does want us to be, if her love is true, if she even takes it seriously. But then again we are young. Having to let her go is one of the last things I want...but the last thing I think I'd want is her being unhappy. well, appearently I had this on mind a while, sry for writing so much here. maybe just a different viewpoint could enlighten me.

Alright, but what should I do next? I mean...how do I approach something like this? I and do love her so... well, yeah. I guess I'll try to see what she thinks about it and other things. If we do break up then maybe since she said that she needed me...I'll try to be just her friend and not think of coming back. bcuz the only way a friendship would work is to set aside those feelings and not sercretly want her back so that it won't hurt. or maybe being friends might be too much, I'll just see what's up I suppose. uhm, thx for taking the time to help.

Ive been in a not too dissimilar position and believe me, the sooner you make a clear cut decision (one way or the other) the worse it's going to get and the more resentful of her and the friend you will become.

Regardless of how you feel for her, she's not going to be able to reciprocate 100%. And unless you're willing to compromise your relationship with her I would strongly suggest getting out now. Believe me, it hurts like a bitch, but a clean break is the best route in the long term.

If you cannot bear a permanent break then I would say removing yourself for 6 months or a year. By then things will be a clearer. Either you'll move on, she'll move on or you'll get back. But from here on in the relationship you have is changed... forever.

Again, painful and very hard, I hope things work out.

Bert.

Uhm, yeah, that's true I guess. I mean, it is. lol, can't second guess myself here. Change isn't nessisarily bad, sometimes it can bring two people closer together. But anywayz, what you said yeah. Hmm..If you really love someone then let it go and if it comes back it's true. My friend told me that once. Talked to her (not friend) yesterday and she said that she broke up with her after I said what I thought about it. She understands what could happen over time and as do I now. okay, I'm gonna get more info later today so... uhm.. I dunno. Well, I know what I'm doing. I'm tring not to face the cruel truth that we are eventually gonna break up. Uhm, I'll see.

You need to talk to her.... none of us can help answer your questions. Only she can, and this conversation will be hard with her, but its the only thing that you can do. She is confused, and to tell you the truth you deserve someone who is as dedicated to you as you are to her. Would you do that to her? Im thinking that you wouldnt. It will be hard to move on, but she sounds like she needs to grow up and find out what she wants.

You might want to be checking profiles first, fella.

lol

omg, now thatz a perv. Ay, *ahem* sry. but thatz just weird. Anywayz, the problem... hmm, geez I'll see today for sure what's going on. Thanks everyone for your support.

Sry, the reason I'm so.. just not into breaking it off is because she just means so much to me and brought some things out of me that I had no idea I had. She just made everything in my life so much brighter and full of vibrant colors. Without her, I don't know what I'll do. I have a life though with her it's all the better. Life isn't about the amount of breaths you take, but the little moments that take your breath away. That's what she did to me. I had a life but I wasn't like that, and with her it's just... so magical. *sigh* Man, I'd hate to even think about her doing it again with someone else. But I do and I can't go to sleep 'cause that's all I could think about at the time. As difficult as it is to say.. we're gonna break up. LoL, but any single girls that might be gay, bi or just curious, give me a call. LoL, Okok, sry bout that part. *ahem* yeah, I was just kidding. sry, sick joke there. Anywayz, I think I waited too long, now Valentines Day is like right around the corner. Ay, why? Okay, I had time to think about this... so uhm, dude I don't know. Gonna have to do this sooner or later. Don't want to hurt her.. though.. she may hurt me. So.. okok, maybe I do needa clear my head. Wouldn't it be kinda heartless to do this so close to that day? ..mann. Guess I gotta face the music.