Can I Ever Fully Trust Him?

I really other's perspectives if possible.. I have been in my relationship for a year and a half with a guy I absolutely adore - he knows everything about me, my past, present, and possible futures, and he accepts me for who I am. He gives me more than I feel I deserve.. but I can't trust him completely.

My one other serious relationship ended really badly, and I have always had trouble with men who are close to me (brother, uncles, dad, stepdad, etc) walking out of my life or betraying me in some form.. I -want- to trust the person I am with, and I want to be able to love him completely, but I am not even sure how to anymore. It seems to be getting better in some ways, but worse in other ways. I find myself getting more possessive and jealous over tiny, insignificant things as more time passes.

These aren't even the full issues. I tend to not trust him with a lot of things, and I hold back a lot of myself from him. He knows, and he stays with me despite my temper tantrums, my lack of trust, my jealousy, and everything else that I do that would make anyone else run for the hills.

Despite all of this, and despite how much of himself he gives me, the problem still isn't getting better. I'm not sure how to fix it. Anyone have any advice?

I can really relate to you. I can't completely trust my boyfriend because of my past relationships. It's really hard and my BF wants me to trust him and be able to tell him everything about myself, so yeah I understand what your going through. I haven't found the solution to fixing it though XD

But, what I think you should do and what I've been trying to do is to give him my trust bit by bit. I'm trying to let my guard down and I know it's going to be a slow process. I think you should just keep trying, ya know? And you should probably tell him about your trust issues if you haven't yet. Hopefully, that helped a little..

I agree that I should seek help, Amanda, but I am really afraid to go into counseling. I live in a very small town, and most of my current issues come from my past experiences with my brother. There are only a few centers around here that offer therapy, and if I am seen going into one, I'm sure the news will spread really quick and eventually make its way back to my antagonist.

Aside from that, I really can't afford to see a therapist. I just lost my job over a misunderstanding, and while I am desperately trying to get it worked out, I have a feeling I am going to have to look for another job really soon.

^Or that the person that you have these issues with hasd givin you a reason NOT to trust them, but your right, that isnt the case here.

Ok, here I go being the ass again. It seems he loves you no matter what and is willing to stay with you despite your seemingly flawed personality disorder, this is what you do, if you find yourself having "anti-trust" thoughts, tell yourself your being retarded, dont say anything about it to him, just LET IT GO and be done with the issue. Also, if he loves you so much, you need to give him your entire self, maybe little bit at a time, but slowly start giving him more and more of yourself. Dont let your past relationships with the men in your life ruin whats good now. Stop being a inmature child and relieze what it is that you have in front of you. This is my advice, if you take it, I assure you that your issue will get better, if you dont, then thats on you. All these words come down to this, GROW UP AND LET YOUR PAST GO.

My grandpa taught me many things in life, and this is one of my favorits, You cant move foward if your always stuck in the past.

^^ Or (I thought I might as well add as well), you may not even have trust in yourself.

Spc Ernst:

I came here looking for honest advice, not to be told to grow up, nor to be called immature or a child. If you cannot give sincere advice without calling me names or insulting me, I ask that you refrain from replying to my posts.

For those who posted advice, thank you very much. I truly appreciate it, and hopefully, with some effort on my part, this issue will get better :)

Thank you, Amanda, I will see about which programs are around here for help. I know it does hurt him, which is the main reason why I am seeking advice and help on it.

Spc Ernst, I apologize if Amanda is right in saying that you meant no harm by what you said, or that I took it the wrong way - I find myself a bit over sensitive these days :)

^thank you amanda. The truth is Angel, that I dont sugar coat things and I honnestly think that sometimes people need a kick in the arse to get in the right direction. The truth isnt always pretty and it isnt always pleasent. Trust me when I say letting go of the past will help you move on to your future, and thats part of growing up. If i wanted to insult you I would simply come on here tell you your an idiot and say other cruel things that you would never help you and probly just piss you off. GO SEEK HELP, GROW UP, AND DROP YOUR PAST! otherwise you will be cold and alone without anyone who gives a damn.

You cant move foward when your stuck in the past.

now, if you still wish that I dont reply to your post, I wont from now on, This will be my last one. But if you actually take my advice that I posted before hand, and find that it works, I assure you, you wont hate me anymore, and if you dont take it and your world falls down around you, then you will hate me more for being right and you not listening.

I apologize that I took insult in what you said =). I appreciate your advice, I just tend to take the words "Grow up" "immature" and "child" wrong, heh.

Its ok, Im not mad, I just really do hope for the best for you, like I do everyone. Im sorry I got mad at you for your misunderstanding what I was saying, I should of elaborated to begin with.