Mom, Dad, & Divorce. How to tell my mom I want it?

They have their problems. Mostly, it's my father yelling at my mom to spend less money all the time, when he's the one handing it out to his side of the family and them never paying it back.. or him spending it all on building our house in Mexico when none of us even go there, or want to go there. It's a lot of yelling and she hates it and I hate it. She can't even have a cell phone without him yelling and wanting proof of the bills. He wants to cancel all the cell phones, to keep us locked up at home, and is considering shutting off the internet when we all need it for work and school. He's angry that my mom has spent some money on school bags and clothes that we do need.. It's too much for her, and I don't want her to have to go through it. I'm not sure if she's ever considered divorce, but I want to tell her I'd be okay with it and think it'd be the better way out. She deserves better.

In the end it is your parents relationship, she could be staying for a million different reasons we could never understand. I would let her know you support her if she wishes to leave, but I wouldn't get in the middle of it. If you're old enough, since I assume you are not the most advanced 3 year old in the world, get a job so you have your own money, even if you have to hide it.

Possibly discuss with her how your dad makes her feel, and if she still loves him. Be open. It's important to have these types of family discussions, so you're not sitting there wondering or asking us what to do. I wouldn't flat out say, "You guys should get divorced." I am against divorces. Marriage is/was never always easy, and if you ride out the bad parts and try to work together, things will come together. There are exceptions, for example, abuse. I wish you good luck with your family.

I agree that she could be staying for a good amount of reasons, however, I am not certain what those reasons are, of if they're good enough. For example, like Brit said, waiting for my brothers and I to turn 18 before she divorces him. I intend to find out though, I will talk to her again once it comes up.

I don't have a choice when it comes to getting in the middle of it, for I AM in the middle of it. I hear the yelling at night that makes me want to save my mom.. somehow. Eventually, I turn numb and I wish I could turn her numb for some of it, but I can't, and I need to do something. I need to give her something more. I need her to know divorce would be okay.

I would. My father says that once we're all of age, he expects us to get a job and pay some of the bills. I'm not yet of age, and it'd be just about impossible to get a secret job that he didn't find about.

My family isn't like that. We don't discuss these things. We don't discuss our feelings and share them openly and talk about our days or talk about how we feel about something. It simply isn't done in our home.

I will talk to her, and I am too much of a coward to bring up the word divorce because I don't know how she'd respond, so I will leave that out.

Yes, I think I will. I just have to find the right words to say..

My mom is an assistant prinicpal and earns very good money, and my father had 2 jobs as a computer teacher, but he lost his second one, and so things are harder and we're forced to cut down and more arguments come up. I will suggest the bank accounts and splitting money for bills, though I think my father would be offended. I'll try what I can.

Thank you all for your help and advice.