Philosophical question...

How do you make a friend? what similarities/differences must they have?

Pumpkin

I agree with you completely.
To be completely truthful, I don't think I have any actual friends at the moment. Associates is more like it. A true friendship takes a lot of time and a lot of effort from both sides. Then grows the respect and love for each other needed to make one.

There isn't really a step by step process to make a friend. When you meet a person, friendship could possibly grow from that but you can't predict or choose who'll be your true friend. They just happen to come along some day.

I would say I don't have true friends, either. I don't have a friend that I'm able to completely trust. The only person that I would say is there for me is my BF, but I find it hard to even trust him. So basically, finding a friend is hard but you'll know when you've found a good friend :]

Pumpkin....i agree...but then again you have to ask what common sense really is...

Oh Pumpkin (I sound like my grandmother, lol), you took the words right out of my mouth. That's theft you know? Haha.

I too agree, true friendship like love develops gradually over time as you learn more about and share experiences with one another. This is something that I believe, and have always believed at an early age.

Just recently, I was betrayed by someone who I thought was my true friend; someone who I thought would always be. She tried to use me in her "plot" to get "revenge" back at someone (who was my friend) who she was angry with. She told me that he liked me, wanted me to be with him, cheat on and break up with my boyfriend as well as said many other nasty things about him. I didn't believe anything she told me about him, because I knew that was just like her character to make this up and because I'd caught her in her lies numerous times. One of those lies was when I asked her who told her these rumors and she replied that a friend of his he confides in told her, which I knew that person he confides in was me considering I'm the one he talks more than he does his own sister or mother and I didn't tell her any of the sort. When she'd been had, she laughed like it was a joke and never apologized... I forgave her, not for her or for our "friendship" but for myself, because life is too short for anger. I don't consider her my "friend" anymore, don't talk to her often let alone even at all and don't plan to see or hang around with her either.

There was one other time that someone I thought I was "friends" with betrayed me. 6 years ago, someone who didn't like me very much for no reason told this "friend" that I was talking about her behind her back. For the next four days, she and one of my other "friends" ignored me. I decided to confront her and we got into an argument. The next day she came to me, apologizing, when she found out that this other girl was lying. I forgave her, but the damage had already been done and our "friendship" was never the same. The saddest part about it is that this girl who told her these lies was a stranger; someone who she didn't even know, yet she still believed them over me and our many years of friendship...

I have many acquaintances; some of which may some day grow into something more, some of which have already started to grow and unfortunately some of which can only go downhill from here. But, I am happy to say that I have had the pleasure and privilege of a few true friendships; a few true friends! And that's more than; that's all that, I have ever asked for.

A hear a lot of people toss "friend(s)" around so casually and use it callously. The girls in my class I use to go to school with would proclaim this or that person to be their "friends", refer to them by nickname and talk about them like their long lost childhood friends. Much like they did when I was talking to a classroom friend about my cousin; Curtis, who was about to be a father. They overheard me and immediately butt right into our conversation asking about "Limey" (his nickname my cousin's friends and family use). The sad thing is, my cousin doesn't even know them and graduated before they were even in high school. They've only overheard other people use his name. These girls would claim so and so to be their friends but wouldn't bat an eyelash to talk about them behind their backs amongst themselves. When one of their "friends" from their nitpick group would be absent or walk out of the room, right away the backstabbing and trashtalking would begin. When that person would return, they would smile and casually make small talk... This is the reason why most of my few true friends are guys, lol.

It seems true friendship; a true friend, is hard to come by these days... But I wouldn't have it any other way.