Why am I so ashamed?..

I have always been a focused kind of gal. school, friends, and extra activites have kept me satisified. and I always got enough attention from family members. therefore, I didn't have a desire to date until I was 15. (I am almost 17 now.)

My first, and only boyfriend so far, was average. I suppose I was still learning the ropes to the whole dating thing. we dated for about a total of eight months. nothing serious of course. your classic dinner and movie dates. walking the halls together. in about the last month, things went down hill. being a teenage guy, you already know the story. his hormones took over his heart. I was just not ready for that step. even though it had been close to eight months and he proved that he was a good guy.. I just wasn't ready for.. that. and clearly, I don't need a reason. so we ended up breaking up, we both thought it was for the best. we broke up over the summer, and school's back in session now.

when I see him in the halls and class, he just makes me feel guilty. I get all these dirty looks from him. and a few weekends ago he asked for a second chance and that he is willing to wait and not be a child about things. so I told him I'd think about it, and the next day he said. . "nevermind, I changed my mind. I don't want a second chance."

I could go on and on, I guess I am asking..is it normal to feel guilty and ashamed? to turn the other way when you see him? and is it normal even though he was such a great guy, he's now cold and bitter towards you?

Thank you so much! and believe me, I do my best to walk with my pride and tell myself it was the right thing. however, I am sure you know that some days are harder than others. it'll take time, I suppose. thanks again for your comment :]

Him being a decent guy doesn't mean that you have to go out with him. It sounds like the relationship had kind of run its course, and that you did the best thing by breaking up. I understand the feeling guilty thing, but there's absolutely no reason for it. You sound like you've got a good head on you shoulders... just keep listening to yourself.

Thank you so much, ladies! it means so much more for people who have been there to tell me this. a "friends" keep saying to try and make things happen again. but, like you truly said.. what is done, is done. thanks again!

Actually, it was funny as well lol. I don't really call them friends anymore. I made the mistake, of thinking everyone could get along in high school.. so I tried to accept and be there for all my friends (you know, the ones you went to grade school with and junior high. and then the first day of high school; they all find new cliques.)

so instead of being in the middle, I just removed myself from all of them. I just focus on spending time with my family and school. if I am invited to an event or gathering, I go. and I spend time with one group of friends. if the other groups show up, I just say hi and greet them. then leave haha.

I understand though. I am the same way with my mother, I know she has my best intrest at heart. she is the only one I fully listen to.

You don't usually stay friends with people that you meet in highschool anyways as sad as that sounds :/

Anyways, I think it's great that you left him. If he really was a 'good' guy then he should've understood and respected your decision. It's great that you haven't done 'that' yet. I wish I haven't :/

Don't feel guilty because it isn't your fault at all. People want different things and he obviously wanted something that you couldn't give.

Tbh if he turned cold on you because you said no then he was never really a 'nice guy' you got out when you could and good for you :)

Thank you both :] this advise has been rather useful and comforting.

OK, get your head out of your ass and relieze that you have something to be proud of not ashamed of, and he needs his ass beat for making you feel that way. A woman who can hold herself is a woman who deserves respect, from others aswell has self, yourself being more important then others. When you start to worry about what others think of you, you start to comprise your morals and ethics and a feeling of shame could cause you to do things that would question everything you stand for. Be yourself chica and always strive for setting a standard, not abiding by one. Be virgin and proud you have accomplished what most girls your age couldnt already by not giving into the social reform of sexual activity at an early age, just hang in there and dont let others control who you are.

Aww im very proud of u! he an ass and if he was worth ur time he woulda waited and NEVER made u feel guilty 4 wanting to wait. my best friend is a virgin and i have had the urge 2 smack her a few times cuz she feels like a child tellin the guys shes dating she a virgin...thats something to be PROUD of! I WISH I was still one...i waited till i was 19 and i still dont think i was ready 4 it =[ dont lose something that precious 4 ANY reason other then u love the guy he loves u and u wanna share something special with him and that guy waited 4 wen u WERE ready. and btw u r a beautiful girl im sure theres alot of guys out there that wish they can b with a beautiful respectable girl like u =] good luck!

Awww thank you so much! yes, indeed it something to be proud of. I guess I am sort of ashamed that he thinks I did it to be selfish or something along those lines. I'm rather upset that he's acting cold and heartless; I guess this isin't a perfect world. If it were, we would find some way to be friends toward one another and be grown up about this.

GUILTY OR ASHAMED?!
No way! You should never ever feel or should have felt like that! You have very good head on your shoulders and are very mature than most girls your age... very proud of you! But I was in the same situation as you at one point, but I quickly realized if I wasnt ready, I wasnt ready oh well, he needed to realize and move on.
It made my life was easier!! And everyone after that did the same, until now, I am happily engaged and expecting with the one and only guy Ive been with.
I know sometimes, oyu might have felt pressured and thats where alot of girls made their mistakes, i was surrounded by girls and people that werent ready and went for it, and now regret it...
Thats why I knew I had to wait...
But you made a very mature and wise decision and didnt let everything else change your mind...
I am really proud of you because not alot of girls these days can say the same.... believe me NOT ALOT!! Lol...

Take care

My darling, what you have a case of is what I call "immature boy complex." He's not worth your time!
From my understanding, he likes you or at least wants what he can't have AND he doesn't like that you have the power, so he strikes out with glares and "Actually, I don't want a second chance" nonsense.
The boy needs to grow up and you need to move on. You'll be happier without him.

Thanks ladies, the supportive words have been helpful these past few days :]