Im Bi and i need help.

  • Second to None
    15 years ago

    I've known i've been bi for a while but i made out with a girl for the first time ever. But it was one of my best friends and she is bi too. And i think i have a crush on her but idk what to do because she is one of my really good friends and i don't want to ruin a friendship with a realationship. and i im scared to tell people im bi because if i do my mom will be disapointed and people at school are going to kill me. i just need adivice please, im so confused.

  • ChildofGod87
    15 years ago

    Well first off... take a deep breath in and exhaul... cause more you think negative the more you'll lose what is in front of you. :) Ok now that your with me on the losing what's in front of you... it seems like you two want to experience something beautiful, and true if it don't work out then the friendship could be a mess or akward. I've been there long ass time ago, and she rushed it with me... so it was hard to get back what was a friendship. It's bad when the people you care about disown you, but you can always keep a secret if you are going to try the relationship. Also maybe you should test out your feelings and hers, if it's lust or could become love. There's no rush in living, just following your heart and guiding it without getting hurt.

  • Clown
    15 years ago

    Ok chica. First thing is that you should never be ashamed of who you really are nor should you hide it from anyone, ever. Your mother will love you just the same regardless of how she feels about it, she will accept you becouse thats what mothers do. She loves you just has much now has the day you where born and that wont chang if she finds out that your bi. Now for your friend thing, all i can say is that you never know the posibilities if you neverr really try. Not to mention, it would be a good idea for your first same sex relationship to be with someone you already know in my opinion. I pray the best for you,
    Sam

  • Em
    15 years ago

    First of all I would say you should tell your mum that you are bi because no matter what she will love you the same as she did when you were born if not more. And if people in school can't take you being bi then they aren't worth anything.
    Secondly, the friend thing should just stay as a friend because as you say you don't want to lose a good friendship to a relationship and if I'm being honest that is what will happen because relationships don't usually last BUT if you both like each other then I don't see a problem with this but all I can say is if you do start a relationship with this friend then tell her that if the relationship does end then you don't want to lose her as a friend because that's what you treasure the most and if she's a true friend she will understand this and you can trust her word. It is better being in a relationship with someone you have previously known though. I wish you all the luck in the world whatever you decide.

  • silvershoes
    15 years ago

    She is one of my really good friends and i don't want to ruin a friendship
    ^ You answered that one for yourself. So stay friends. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.. I hate that quote too, trust me.

    Tell your mom, better out than in. It's always best to be honest and open with ones parents. They are there to support you and love you and give you advice to the best of their abilities.

    If anyone would kill you at your school for being bi, let me suggest changing schools. That is incredibly frightening! Bisexuality is no big deal.. most people are bisexual to a small degree.

  • effervescence
    15 years ago

    1. I also believe you should tell your mother. A parent is only a good parent when they acknowledge who their child really is. It's not as if she could change what you are. In the beginning, she may be angry or ashamed (parents are just like that), but in time, she should get over that.

    2. If your friend's bi as well, there may be a chance of a relationship. However, it all depends on what your friend thinks. Talk it over with her and see how she feels. If she doesn't feel the way you do, at least you can have the chance to move forward!

    3. You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are. But, if you feel as if you aren't confident enough to tell the community, you should hold back for a bit. The bisexuals aren't a minority group for them to poke fun of. There are many others who feel the same way about people of their same gender. However, if you truly feel as if you aren't ready to speak out, I think you should keep it inside until you are.

    I hope for your best!
    Athena :)

  • BraidhairCutie
    15 years ago

    I know how you feel.
    I'm bi to but i have a boyfriend. He know this and still feels weird when i hang out with my friends. But I don't care what people think. I mean you never know that they might be one too. You don't have to tell your parents. My parents don't know and i've been bi for 4 years. And with your friend. i went through the exact same thing and you know what? she was confused too so we left it at that but we're still best friends. So relax. Its not like the end of the world.

  • BeatsMe
    15 years ago

    Everybody these days uses the excuse "I dont want to ruin our good friendship" to not date people they like. If you seriously want to get with somebody then do it, instead of wondering what if. The worst thing that can happen is you two break up and if you are as good as friends as you said then Im sure you can return to being just friends. And on the people knowing your bi part, who gives a rats ass. You are what you are and you have to be proud of who you are. If your bi then dont try and hide it. I mean you dont have to go running around kissing every chic but dont try and deny it if someone finds out. People will resepct you more for being different and upfront than being different and in denial. And on the parents issue, if your serious about being bi Id sit down with your mom and tell her. She'll take you more serious if you try and tell her face to face in a mature way. Your her daughter and in the end she'll love you just the same. Deuces.

  • Hopeless Romantic
    14 years ago

    If people really loved and cared then they would accept you for who you are and no matter what...

  • KJ
    14 years ago

    Hmmm. First off, you should never live your life to satisfy those around you; you'll just be driving yourself crazy. You should definately tell you mother (whenever you are ready of course). This is who you are. I am sure that your mother will understand. I'm a lesbian (no question about it). I am 19 years old, about to be 20; and I just came out to my family this year. I must say that it is one of the best things I have ever done. Right now you are probably feeling as if everything is a mess; because you are just keeping who you are to yourself. You have to have the courage to be you... loudly. But as far as your friendship goes: I think you should go for it. Breaking your friendship up is a risk, but by your post it looks as if you are into her. Explore it. Take a chance because it may be what you need in the long run.

    Anyway, if you need any advice, you can always PM me;; I really dont mind helping as much as I can.

    -KJ

  • krysten
    14 years ago

    I dated my best friend for four years girl...and im bi or gay as well i lean more towards women...i kinda have to say that b/c im pregnant..but i dated her for four years and we broke up nurmous time and me and her are better friends now then before if you have the power to do it then you can you just can be the real jealous type..i mean jealousy is fine to an extent.. i still love and care for her but she is happy with some one else and as long as she wears a smile on her face thats all that matters to me so take it for what it is right now and come to the conclusion of what will happen later b/c you never want to look back on your life and wonder what could have been

  • krysten
    14 years ago

    Ok first off no one will kill you for this its not something you can help...i had a crush on my bf and we dated and i mean at the time when we broke up everything was fine we had a falling out as friends and we don't talk anymore but it had nothing to do with the fact that we dated...the only thing you can do is tell her how you feel all of what you feel and go from there bc she may feel the same way...i also know about the school thing people will say shit just think about it this way all they are is talk and they cant do shit about who you are and how you feel high school is terrible but ill let you in on a little secret its only four year...and after hight school life is different...way different you can be who you are and be ok with it...you are great the way you are and thats what you neeed to remember what does it matter what they say if they dont know you....as far as parents youd be really surprised how great they are about things especially when you are straight up with them and don't keep things from them and you are theyre child they have to care they have to love you they wont stop loving you just bc they don't like it and you may be surprised they maybe ok with it...just try bc you don't want to live your life wondering what if every time you turn around...trust me i let a chance pass me up and now everyday i look and wonder why i didnt just try bc i could be happy....so i hope it helped