Commiting Suicide

How's it going. I've been thinking about suicide alot lately. Seriously though, it's something about me that want me to kill myself, and I don't know why. My life isn't bad or anything, then again it's not what I want it to be. I have friends and family, but I don't won't that to stop me, from killing myself. Every night when it's quiet, and I'm alone, I think about ending it all. When I'm at the point of doing it, my friends and my girlfriend pops into my head. I see it as like, it's holding me back from doing it.

Should I care if I hurt them or not? I mean its not like they're going to cry for the rest of their lives. Although, I am the type that visit everyone in the family and stay over for dinner. I truly feel like I will hurt them, but I also feel like I'll be happier if I'm dead. I can't possibly know, because I haven't experienced death. One of these days I will push them aside and leave them all behind. I will leave behind a girlfriend, friends, and family. I feel like I must kill myself for some reason, but I can't put my finger on it.

Deep down, I wish that nobody cared for me, and it would be eaiser that way. I want to do what I want, and not be a problem to anyone around me. I want to kill myself, and leave no tears behind, but unfornutaley there will be some. You may call me crazy, but I feel strong about this situation.

But I want to ask anyone who reads this these questions, If I feel like it will make me happy, then should I do it? Should I care about how I would make anyone feel? Is this depression, or just crazy thoughts?

This is defiantly depression.
You should see a doctor asap.
This isnt good and you should care what your friends
and family think
because you will always leave them with the question why.
and nothing hurts more than loosing someone to death and knowing they could have lived but choose to die.
i myself suffer from depression
i got anti depressants about a month ago.
and things are already starting to feel better i seriously advise you to see a doctor.
and you are not alone!!!

Ditto what was said above me, your profile would not lead me to believe any of things you have said here, therefore I have to believe that if you take care of your problems, it will improve.

I wish I could help, but I'm in the same boat, I've been thinking about it for four years now, almost every night, every morning, and any other idle moment of the day. I know exactly what you mean when you say you just feel like you need to do it, but the only thing keeping me alive is knowing that because I've made it through these last couple years alive, sub-consciously there must be some solid reason holding me back, some undisputable meaning. Keep that in mind my friend.

Whatever you do, don't commit suicide. It's not worth it. You have your whole life ahead of you.
A kid at my school committed suicide last December. Sure, my school is only 140 kids, but it devastated all of us. I barely knew him, but I cried for a good 2 or 3 days. Over 500 people attended his memorial service. The towns around us have 600, and 700 people. Suicide affects everyone around you. And it's not worth it. It's hard to imagine what Kam's family went through. The pain we felt was enormous.

Just don't do it. If you need to talk to someone, feel free to PM me.

--Krista

I wish I could help you, give you answers, advice, but I can't either. Who am I to help someone on this? I've been on both sides of this, heck I'm still there everyday, but I know that the fact that you care about your family, girlfriend and friends and that they're what's kept you from doing it is a good thing. I fight my boyfriend every time he gets depressed that giving up isn't an answer to anything, suicide is never the "right thing" no matter how right it feels and yet every time things fall apart those thoughts start tormenting me to the point of madness. All I can say is that if you're still here then there must be a reason and taking your own life isn't a good choice.

I spent 3 years wishing I won't wake up the next morning, attempted suicide twice but each time there was something in me saying you don't want to do it you just feel like it's the only way.. hunnie i promise if you give yourself time and try on working out your issues one day the feeling of death will not be there and you will be greatful that your alive and well.. the best thing in life is the mystery of tomorrow even though it's scary at least there is a tomorrow. be strong and hold your head and battle all those feelings and fight for your life because 80 years on this planet is nothing in times eyes.