Your advice on hugs? haha please answer asap.

I have this camp this weekend that this police lady put me on to. I went to one a while ago and quite enjoyed it. I'm leaving today for another one and i dont really know what to do cause they have like hug circles (weird i know) where you have to go round and hug everyone.. and like.. i haven't hugged any guys since my ex.. who died a few weeks ago and i really dont think i want to hug any one yet.. cause i have all this guilt from stuff that happened with him and im still really not handling it all, especially with everyone completely blaming me for what happened.. and i feel like i'll just break down and idk... do you think i should join in.. or should i ask to go sit on the side or something..? its just i think everyone is made to participate.. i guess maybe it might help.. but idk.. what do you think?

It's just a hug. Who knows, it may be exactly what you need. But if you don't want to then you don't have to. They can't make you "participate" in something you're uncomfortable doing.

Yeh i know. it sounds so stupid making such a big deal about a hug. i'll probably just end up just joining in anyway..

You can tell them the reason why you dont want to hug

Well i think for you, being close to another male, only reminds you of your late partner. A hug in a friendly manner, has nothing to do with the intimate hug you once shared with that person who is no longer here. But you must know, it not what you do counts, it's how it is done. In what you describe, that hugs only mean hello. I think you must take it that way.

By the way i am sorry for your lost. It will takes time for you to start anew, but all you need is time.

Thanks, i did end up hugging everyone.
cause they told me i had to.
i pretty much cried the entire time, but thats okay.
thanks for all your advice:)

I know I'm late on this one, but I just wanted to say one thing..

I <3 Hugs! :)
that is all..

Hahaha :)