Why...

Why do guys run from girls who have kids?

^ Exactly.

I'm guessing your looking into more guys around your own age right? I'm guessing some guys might not be ready for various, reasonable and understandable, different reasons:

1. They have their own lives to live and might want to just enjoy it on their own while they still can being single instead of being tied down as well as want to finish school, go to university and get a job before settling down. If they're in a relationship with you they might expect you to want them to assume the role and responsibility as a father that they don't want and aren't ready for (nor have to assume because it's not their responsibility). They're afraid they won't have time for themselves or will have to give up their future.

2. They aren't ready to be in a relationship with someone who has that kind of responsibility. Be honest, between you child, yourself, work and school and other different factors you wouldn't have a whole lot of time for them or to spend with them. And that's what they want; they want to be able to spend time with you and get to know you, but know that your child will always come first. They don't want to be put second.

3. They do want to be with you, but just don't want to and aren't ready to assume a role or take responsibility for something they have no experience with or have no commitment to. Even though they accept that you have a child and even accept the child themselves, they just want to take it slow but are afraid you'll push them or pressure them into it.

4. Because the child would not be theirs they don't want to deal with your "baby's daddy" and other such drama that comes with not being a biological father.

Thats wat my friend's bfs' always do to her.

Not all of us do

Okay why do some do then?

Some of us bond with the kid while being with the mom and treat the child as our own

Thats a major step to do though

Yea it is.. but i see wat u be saying

I just want to know is if a guy likes u a lot then why would having a baby already stop them from being with you

One reason could be because the child isnt his

he might only want you to have his kids

Yea i guess that would be had trying to take care of a kid thats not urs

Anything else you wanted to know?

Umm... what does it really mean when a guy says he has love for you?

If i say that to a girl it mean i care about her

Oh ok.

Because its a lot of responsibility too quickly. A guy feels in a relationship he has to take care of his gf, and if you have a kid guess what, hes gotta take care of a kid too. And I know this might sound messed up but in the end, a guy wants to take care of his own kid, not someone elses. Not saying that he cant come to love and care for the kid. But that fact is always gonna remain there. And I bet a guy is gonna feel like a douche bag for leaving a woman with a kid if he did get close to the kid. The kid makes crap complicated as heck. You better hope for a Brady Bunch story lmao jp.

I see what you mean but my baby is still young he wouldnt even know if its his dad or not

i know how it feels so if i meet a guy who have has kids i still would want to be with them

"I see what you mean but my baby is still young he wouldnt even know if its his dad or not."

^ Which, when he grows up and does find out, could be more devastating than if he knows now while he is young. It only takes one slip of the tongue; an argument between you & [said guy] where you tell him, "You're not even his father!" or another family member mentions it and your child overhears.

"i know how it feels so if i meet a guy who have has kids i still would want to be with them"

^ You can't keep comparing everyone to yourself...

Also, you CAN'T blame them nor CAN'T put pressure on a guy for not wanting to be with you because you have a child. Shame on you if you do or have.

It sounds to me like you're looking for a father, not a boyfriend. You can't expect a guy to be with you and automatically assume the role as a father. A father, much like his child and through experience, is born. His title is earned. And the feelings and bond between him and the child grow in time. It's not as easy as snapping your fingers and, presto, you've found your "baby's daddy".

It's perfectly reasonable and understandable that a guy wouldn't want to be with you because you have a child, even if he really did like you, especially if he assumes he has or you assume him to immediately take the role and responsibility as a father. You CAN'T rush or pressure them to assume such a role or responsibility.

When you decide to want to date again, keep in mind that you're looking for a boyfriend and NOT searching for a father. When you do meet someone, take it slow and don't rush or pressure him into assuming a role and responsibilities of father.

Like everyone else said, it's a HUGE responsibility. I don't think guys like the fact that they'll have to take care of a kid that isn't even theirs. Most guys don't know what they want yet and a lot of guys our age aren't ready to take responsibility for a child.

They want to be your first priority but they know that's NEVER going to happen because your child will ALWAYS come first. They think that most of the time spent together will also be with the child and if you want to go out alone you'll have to find a babysitter and what not. Everything would be more complicated and most guys would rather not deal with that and go for someone that doesn't have a child. That's what some guys I know have said.

You're still really young. Guys your age are worried about finishing school, getting a career and then starting a family. In a few years things will hopefully be different. I just got out of a relationship with someone who had a child, but I already have an education and a really good job so that didn't bother me. I loved both of them and that made the good times way better, but it's also making the end twice as hard.

The bottom line is there are lots of guys out there that having a child doesn't bother at all, however most of them already have an education and a career. So it might take you a few years to find one, but don't worry they are out there.

Yea i understand what all of you are saying..
i geuss its just hard for me knowing that this is all true and i have to face reality..
but thank you guys for the help it really does make me look at things more..