Help please?!

Ok well i've been with this guy dating for almost a year but we have been best friends since elementary school and i really care about him and i love him but i dont know if its lasting love or just that deep love for our friendship but there is this other guy who i've been friends with for a couple years and there is just something between us and im not sure what it is either please help me im confused

Well thanks for the sarcasm thats a big help but its not like that. i've always cared about dylan more than i should and jamey has been amazing to me and been with me and helped me through alot but now that i want to be only his dylan suddenly regains interest in me and he was there when no one else was when even jamey couldn't be there

Wait.. what you just said made no sense.

"...its not like that i've always cared about dylan... dylan suddenly regains interest in me..."

^ Just because Dylan's showed sudden interest for you doesn't mean that you're obligated to return those same interests or feelings. Especially if you say that you don't "care" about him like that other than as a friend. If you care for you boyfriend as much as you say you do and "that [you] want to be only his", then why are you letting this cause you to have doubts (unless of course you already had those doubts before)? Why are you letting him and a two year friendship come between a friendship since childhood and your relationship? It sounds like you were a little too eager to jump that gun, if you get the simile. In layman's term, like you were waiting for Dylan to show interest.

What do you want us to tell you? That you're in love with Jamey? That you just love him as a friend? That you're in love with Dylan? That you just love him as a friend? You said you don't even know what it is between you and Dylan. I'm sorry but "there is just something between us" isn't love, it's not even a feeling. You even said you don't know if you really love Jamey more than as a friend. Honestly, I don't know. To me, you don't care about either one of them. Shatever it is between you and Dylan isn't love. More so infatuation, simply because you're getting attention and because he's "there for you". And as for your boyfriend. If you've been friends since childhood and went so far as to take it to the next step, and have been together in that relationship for a year, then that says something. Although, if you and your feelings can be easily manipulated like that by someone else then what does that say?

"...he was there when no one else was when even jamey couldn't be there"

^ What do you mean Jamey couldn't be there? Was this a one time thing; a specific situation, where he couldn't "be there"? Did he have a reason?

From that statement alone, you sound a lot like someone (I have the displeasure to say) I know. She was in a "relationship" with this guy named Adam, and a lot less longer than yous. Then one day she tells me that she cheated on Adam and left him for another guy named Chris. When I asked why she responded, "Because he was nice to me." Less than a week later she comes to me yet again and tells me that she cheated on Chris and left him to be with Adam again. When I asked why she responded, "Because he's nice to me." Can you guess what happened next? Does this sound familiar?

I think you should talk to your boyfriend about how you're feeling about the two of you and how you've been feeling about Dylan, he deserves to know. And you should talk to your friend, ask him and establish whether or not he has feelings for you.

I say end it with this guy and jut be friends with both of them Friendships usually last longer than relationships. Just my opinion.

I want to but i don't wanna hurt him

I think it would hurt him more if you didn't tell him.

He knows i care about him he just doesn't know that dylan cares about me too

If you "care" about him and he cares about you too, then why even keep it from him? In a healthy relationship, partners tell no lies and keep no secrets, they are honest and trusting. I'm sure it would hurt him more to know that the person who he cares about and who he thought cared about him is keeping something from him. I know I would. It would make me question you as to what you had to hide.

My partner, of 4yrs, and I have never kept anything from each other. I told my partner about this guy from my acting course I'd known for over half a year, Moran, who has a crush on me the first day that it was obvious he had a crush on me. Moran knows that I am in a relationship and that I am in love with and committed to my partner; body, mind and soul. Moran is just going to have to realize that I am never going to return those same feelings and that we're just friends. If being friends isn't enough for him then we can't have anything at all. Either way, he's going to just have to move on.

Likewise, if you truly "care" about your boyfriend and what to be with him, this other guy will just have to move on. Just because Dylan's showed sudden interest for you doesn't mean that you're obligated to return those same interests or feelings (which is what it sounds like you think you have to do).

I just want to know what someone else thinks if they think i should try again with dylan or just stay with jamey i care about them both but i don't want to hurt either me them and i know dylan will be fine just being friends but i care about him and kinda would like to try again but i love jamey and don't wanna lose him

^ And there's what I was trying to get you to admit...

You can't have your cake and eat it too. You're going to have to make a choice. The most obvious choice, and the one I advise, is yourself. Take a "break" for yourself to figure out what you're feeling, who you can see yourself in a relationship with and who you want to be just friends with. Wait until you have come to a sound conclusion and decision. If you make a choice now you will only wind up in heartbreak.

Like I said earlier, you should talk to Jamey (most importantly) and Dylan about how you've been feeling. If you don't want to hurt them, then talking to them will make all the difference. They may still feel hurt or some other kind of feeling, but they may also be accepting.

Well i don't think it's my age but thank you to those of you who tried to help thank you so much

From what ive gathered here is that you are with one dude, that you do care about, and your not sure how to tell him that you have strong feelings for someone else and that that someone else returns the feelings. If your partner REALLY cares about you, he will understand and let you go to do what you want to make you happy, if he dosnt care about you, then he will be selfish and find ways to make you stay with him, or make you feel guilty about it. So you need to ask yourself, "dose he really care?" and if you do care about him, then yes, honnesty is the best answear, and also, yeah, the fact that your young dose have ALOT more to do with the confussion of the situation then you would think. Im 21 years, been married, have 2 beautiful daughters and now im divorced, (on good terms) and love still baffles me to a huge extent.

^ I agree. Also, what you said about "If your partner REALLY cares about you, he will understand and let you go to... or make you feel guilty about it", the same thing can be said about her friend. As well as the question, "dose he really care?" also applies to him as well.

Which is why I do think and suggest that you should talk to your boyfriend and your friend; honesty is the best policy, they deserve to know and whatever decision you make it may provide you with the opportunity to "leave" on good terms.

My advice still stands as is. I think you should just take a "break" for yourself to figure this out. Don't continue to drag it on, that's not fair to either of them or yourself. If you decide you can see yourself with and "care more" for this other man, then you should let your present boyfriend go so that he can move on and find someone who wants to be with him and who knows how they feel about him. And if you decide to want to be with your present boyfriend and "care more" for him, then you need to let the other man know that he needs to move on and find someone who wants to be with him and who knows how they feel about him. Or, maybe you'll find that you don't want to be with either of them except as friends. Who knows.

Well thanks again im trying to talk to jamey but he's ignoring me so i don't know maybe we weren't right but thank you for your help