He says he loves me and says he cant be with me.

My ex boyfriend and I use to be best friends, We were always there for each other and we would always be there to help one another. When we got together things were great, we were pretty much glued to one another. No one can pull us apart because we always knew we needed each other. I gave him something no one else was ever able to give him and he gave me something no one else was able to ever give me. And then the biggest thing happened between us, we broke up from a lie that I made to protect him from being hurt but I couldnt keep it anymore and I told him. Thats when things got rocky for us, we stayed together but he broke it off and got with my use to be best friend.

Over time we started to hate each other but we still loved each other. We had our share of mean words but we always apologized. Things are better for us now after three months of massive arguing and fighting we became close again. We no longer argue or scream at each other, we talk the way we use too and are back to being best friends But i have never lost my love for him. I spilled my heart out to him for a month and to only hear simple things like, "I know love" "okay" and "Im sorry, but I moved on" But i never believed it because of how he was with me.

He tried dating other people but it never worked out because they always wanted me out of his life and they would tell him to pick me or them. It always came down to him picking to keep me around. Yesterday He told me he was in love with me and I never felt so happy in my life. He said he never moved on from me but he wanted to make himself believe that he did. But today.. today the biggest news came out of no where. he told me, this girl and him were talking about getting together, but he wanted me to know he loves me and just cant be with me right now. I dont know what to do because it broke my heart all over again, I believed him and Im not sure if i should of done that.

Should I trust him when he says he loves me?
[ sorry for this being a bit long ]

I don't see why you shouldn't trust him, he wasn't the one who lied. You know that he's tried dating other girls. He confesses that he still cares about you, but can't be with you right now. He even tells you he's thinking about dating again.

Perhaps what he's referring to, when he says that he loves you but just can't be with you right now, is the fact that you lied to him, his heart was broken. he's still hurt and he is trying to move on from that experience. That's perfectly understandable.

It is also perfectly understandable that he's tried dating other people (not always the most constructive but he may have thought he was ready). He may love you and say he does, but in his mind and in his heart he might not be able to love you in the same way he had before because of your lie. After all, it had changed things between you. Love, unfortunately, isn't immune to change.

People can still love someone (whether that love has changed from love of your life to love of a friend) even if they aren't with that person, are with someone else or are even in love with someone else.

I know that it is my fault, I never not once took full blame for it. But he based it on my lie that it broke us apart and I pretty much made myself believe it was all me too. But he had lies just as much as I did but his was worse. Mine was to only not hurt him.
What gets me the most is, when he cheated on me and lied about it, I never left. I stayed with him because I was able to forgive him and it really hurt me. I forgave him for countless lies he made because I knew I loved him enough to do it.
And one little lie that I had to deal with because I didnt want him hurt, he bashed out on me about it. It all turned on me and he made it sound like he never made one lie in our relationship.

^ Ahhh. So, you feel that it is unfair that he doesn't forgive you when you had forgiven him? Unfortunately, not all people can be as forgiving as you. Perhaps, that was your biggest mistake (and not the lie).

A lie is a lie. What is the different between you lying and him? You lied to "protect" him; your relationship. He'd cheated to you and lied about it. Why would he lie about, if not to "protect" you; your relationship? You may think that his lie was far more worse than yours because he'd cheated, but to him your lie could have been just as equally worse. I'm in no way condoning his cheating, I'm just making it aware to you that a lie is a lie, and that the reasons behind it and outcomes are the same for both parties.

On the subject of cheating: My belief is, if you truly love someone like you claim to then you would not and would never have cheated on them. I don't think I could be as forgiving as you, simply because of my morals, even if I love them. It would be hard and would take time. I hope I never have to. It's unfortunate that you did have to. Such is life.

I understand that I just can't see how me keeping him from getting hurt was bigger than him cheating on me. I didn't want him hurt by the people he loved and needed more than anything in his life his family. What they did and said is something real unforgivable. I stood up for him between them and I didn't want him to find out in some horrible way. Yes I kept everything to myself that happened between his family and I because straight out they wanted him dead. And I was the only one who stood up to defend him.
Do I feel wrong for keeping it? No I don't at all because it kept him from getting crushed.

^ Don't be so rash. I am in no way trying to make you feel "wrong". I have no reason to.

What his family had said to you about him undoubtedly would hurt him, but would he be surprised (just curious because if they had went so far as to say "they wanted him dead" then this must be a reoccurring thing)? I think it surprised him and hurt him more to know that the person he loved and trusted, and possibly the only person he did love and trust, lied to him. If you hadn't kept it from him and told him the truth, he might not forgive his family or wanted to have anything to do with them, but at least he would have had you in the end.

But, what had been done is done and what is is. You've worked things out to a point and have regained your friendship. You can only be patient, accepting and understanding from here.

Well, it was an occuring thing from his mother. In little ways I let him know about it, I never fully said it but I did mention little things about it. I was afraid to tell him because I was afraid to hurt him.