BestFriend is a liar

Hi All,
I just need some advice.

My best friend (since we were 6 - thats 15 years) started seeing this guy who is in the army, in Feb last year. They were together a few weeks, she introduced me and him and asked my opinion on him a few days later.
Well, as her best friend, I told her the truth. I told her she shouldn't put all her trust in him yet. While we were at the pub the night I met him, he went off to get the drinks and started to hit on the barmaid. He came back to the table and told my boyfriend that the barmaid was fit and he wouldn't mind getting her number. My boyfriend had a word with him about his attitude, especially as he said this while my best friend was there.

Well, she stayed with this guy. A few months later he broke it off with her. Then they got back together after she forgave him, he said he wouldn't do it again and would speak with her if he had problems about their relationship. He said something about not wanting to be in a relationship. Well, in September, he was due to go to Dominican Republic for one of his friends weddings. He didn't invite her, though she couldn't go anyway as she has a 2 yr old son and couldn't afford to take him.

While he was away he hardly called her or spoke to her, when he got back she even went to pick him up from the airport and they spent the weekend together, then two days later he turned up at her house and broke it off with her again, once again saying he didn't want a relationship. Later, it came out that he had 'met' someone while he was away called Michelle.

Now, this is where the problem lies. My boyfriend is in the army too and is much higher up than her boyfriend. He is also in contact with her boyfriends commanding officer. It turns out, from contact lists (where all his movements are recorded) that her boyfriend has been in a relationship with Michelle for 3 years, he went to Domincan Rep with her and is still seeing her.

I tried telling my friend at the time, when she was heartbroken over it. I told her she needed to contact my boyfriend as she had asked him when they first broke up to find out about Michelle. She refused and said she didn't care.

Today however, it came to a head. I asked how her weekend was (we work together) and she said she had gone to see this guy and stayed with him. I emailed her at work and asked if they were back together and that she really did need to ask my bf about what he found out about Michelle. She responded basically telling me to mind my own business and that she'd been seeing him since christmas and didn't tell me because she knew i would add my two pennies before she made her decision.
She said she has asked some of this guys friends and they denied anything had happened with Michelle (please remember that this is the army and they always look out for one another; even when it comes to lying about relationships).

His facebook profile picture is even of him and this girl and my best friend can't see that she's being made a fool out of. I have tried to tell her so many times about what is going on. Am I a coward for not just coming out with it? Or am I a bad friend for trying to help her?

She also lied about her weekend plans last week. I asked if she wanted to go out for dinner on Sat night and she said she couldn't get a babysitter - obivously it was just because she had plans to drive down to see him.

He went to Germany two weeks ago to spend time with this girl. I just don't know what to do. To be honest I almost just feel that our friendship is over because she clearly couldn't care less about the fact that she has lied to me about it. She is also lying to herself about her relationship. It's almost just like she's desperate as he is the first guy to pay her attention since she had her baby.

Please help- what would you do now /what would you have done?

Well i would have told her everything I knew from the start and then let her make her own mistake. You might want to jump in and not let her get hurt, but that's not always something we can do, sometimes people just have to learn on their own, no matter how foolish they look to us. I watched my best friend chase a loser for 8 years before she finally caught on, but that never interfered with our friendship. I was honest when she asked me my opinion and I was honest when I found something out that I felt she had a right to know. That's all we can ever really do, the rest is up to them.

I think that no matter how hard we try to protect our friends, they are going to do what they want. Yes, they ask our opinion and we can be honest with them. even when we know that we are telling them the truth and they also know it, they have to learn from their own mistakes and we have to be there for them when they get their heart broken.

I'll just say one thing, everyone lies, when people are kids they dont know the difference between right and wrong, so i'd say cut him a bit of slack

I might be a little late to say anything, but heres my input.

You're right about your friend, shes being delusional. She wants to think that hes only attracted in her and has believed everything he says, even when its a blatent lie. She most likely knows hes been doing this, as you've told her. I'm sure shes not stupid either. Well, she could be. You never know.

Hes a jerk, and theres a lot of jerks in the world. If your friend can't see the light and shes insulting you over it, then shes not really being a good friend towards you, is she? I'd say let her live in her own fantasy world if she won't listen to you. If you pester her on and on about it, she'll probably break off your friendship over something as petty as a cheating boyfriend which she doesn't want to believe. : /