Help help help

Here's the story first off i'm single secondly a girl is involved and I am a gurl as well. So no surprises or whatever. Kay so let's start with the the boy. Me and this guy have seen each other for three months but ended that because I wasn't over somone. Then for five months but then that ended because I wasn't perfect the relationship was stressfull then again for four months and that ended because he was controlling and manipulative. He didn't like me hanging with my friends or talking about things he didn't like made me feel like I didn't put effort to make me feel certain ways threatened to leave me if I did this or that. So eventually I found the strength. To leave him and I was very uspet. BUT we did have a lot of good times he is not an evil person infact I loved him my family loved him and loved/loves me very much. He apologized many times after he realized what he did and finally decided to apologize more because I am worth morethan just words. Saturday he wrote me a song put it on a cd and put it my mailbox it had a picture of us in it. Sunday when I got home from dinner he was sitting on my porch with flowers and apologized some more and said he would never do any of that again he spesifacly apologized for things he knew was wrong. So now I'm talking to him willing to start from new.
Now this girl. She and I became friends threw my best friend we started texting an I helped her out. She's had a lot of boyfriends and searched for love in all the wrong places. You can say she's codependant. She's always been there for me as much as she could and when me and that guy broke up I spent four nights with her at her lake house it felt nice. She's always on my side and takes care of things and she's really smart too. Which I really like. I care about her a lot and I know how much pain all these stupid old boyfriends put her threw but what happens if I become one of those too? What happens if we don't fall in love. She is very considerate and doesntthink I should get back with that guy because she thinks that as soon as he has me he's going to be the way he was before (and partially cuz she wants me) I think otherwise I don't think hell do that again.
There is a third option that I just be a free soal but that's the less likely of the two. I do like that idea I'm just very attached to these people right now. I'm open to opinions.
She is coming to my school tomorow around the same time I'm goingto be in study hall with him. And that's where the problem comes in because if he knows I'm going to leave class to see her rather than spend the time with him hell think I've made up my mind regardless of if I had made up my mind. If I don't go see her she's going to think that he's making me not see her. There are plenty of things that might happen. But I'm thinking about the long run not just tomorrow.
So I'm just looking for unbias opponions it's okay if you think this is dumb to post I'd just appreciate it a bit so what do you think ?

I mean no offense at all by this, I just feel that honesty is always the best:

I think you're over-analyzing the situation. Just be yourself!! Don't worry about what others think of you. After school, you may never see them again. High school is hard enough, but that just amplifies when you add drama. Worry about finding yourself and figuring out who you are before you worry about others decisions.

On the other hand, I know from experience that taking that first step is way easier said than done. You just need to search inside to find the strength. It's there, it just needs to be uncovered.

Ultimately, you'll make the final decision.

I hope this helped, and I wish you luck in the future.

-miranda

^ "I think you're over-analyzing the situation." You took the words right out of my mouth.

It's your decision, don't make it based on what-ifs ("...what happens if I become one of those too? What happens if we don't fall in love?") and don't make it based on what other people think you should do (such as this friend), if you do you will regret it. For those situations that you are unable to predict or can not control you gotta take chances and you have to make a decision that works for you (not for your friend and not your boyfriend).

You ~don't~ have to choose between the two; you don't have to choose between your friend and your boyfriend. If she doesn't like the fact you're with him, that's too bad, and if he doesn't like the fact you're friends with her, tough. If either of them try to give you an ultimatum; if she says you're not friends anymore or he says that he's breaking up with you, that just goes to show you just what kind of "friend" she was and what kind of "boyfriend" he was.

I hope you find the strength to make a decision based on what you think you should do and not what someone else thinks.

Liz

Can I just add, I have been in a similar situation when I was at college.
The guy you refer to will always be the way he is. You have broken up many times for various reasons and this signals to me that you and him are never going to work out.

Sorry to put a downer on it honey but lets be hoenst, you're hardly going to marry this guy are you.
Follow your heart but please, use your head too.