Should i call?

My boyfriend hasn't called or texted all day, which is unusual for him, or at least it was until recently.

He used to want to talk to me a lot, and wanted to see me whenever was possible, and now he sees me maybe once a week.

I kinda wonder what his problem is. I know he's busy, and so am I, but I'm trying to keep the relationship going.

Spring break started yesterday, and I was hoping to spend time with him, but he's gonna be with his friends. He's gonna see me tomorrow and I'm pretty sure that's the only time I'll see him the whole break. He sees his friends all the time, but we don't have classes together. I see him sometimes for a few minutes sometimes though.

I have strong feelings for him, and he say says he feels that way for me, too, but I really don't think he's been truthful with me either. He was doing things I didn't like (not to me, but just in general) and he told me around New Years he'd stopped, partly for me. I was happy, because I knew he would get hurt eventually. Then today, a mutual friend of ours said he was gonna break into one of his friend's houses and get drunk and high for a few days over the break and have a big party, and apparently, he's been going to a lot of rowdy parties too, which I was not aware of. He never said he was doing things like that. I'm not saying he has to tell me everything, but to leave out stuff like that is kinda stupid. Maybe he knows I'd disapprove, but really, if he can't tell me the truth, we shouldn't be together. If he can't trust me enough to tell me he's never stopped doing that stuff, then he should end it.

Why don't I end it, you may ask.

Well... I'm not the type to stand up for myself.

So, I guess if you can get past my rambling story/question, would you help me?

How long have you and your boyfriend been together?

Almost five months.

But I found out why he's been distant and such, and that he didn't lie...

It's on another post, the one titled 'He's leaving'

"But I found out why he's been distant and such... It's on another post, the one titled 'He's leaving'."

^ I'd read 'He's leaving' and figured it had some correlation to this. When you say "he didn't lie..." I assume that means the person who told you he was still partying, drinking and doing drugs was lying, right?

If he's leaving for England in July, and will be gone roughly between one to four years, that does explain the reason why you feel he's been distant with you. Maybe he didn't know how to break the news to you.

Within the first year of our relationship my boyfriend told me that his mom had decided they were moving back home; home being where his father still lived and worked, over four hours away (his parents weren't divorced or separated in any other way). We still had a few months of high school left as well as a few months of summer holidays, so while his mom moved back home he stayed behind to finish school and spend the remaining summer with me (my parents allowed him to stay with us). When he first told me that he was moving, I don't honestly remember what I had to say to that or what else he had to say, but the next day after he told me I, basically, told him that I love you, I haven't been in a long distance relationship before, I know it won't be easy but, personally, I still want us to be together and try to make it work. Of course, I knew the decision wasn't just up to me, so I told him, whatever you decide would be best for you I respect that, I just hope you feel the same way I do and that you will give us the chance, and if you don't or if it doesn't work out I hope we could still be friends. He told me he felt the exact same way, he just never brought it up because he was afraid I felt otherwise. Eventually the summer came to an end and he had to move back home, where he spent the next year going to school, then the next year after that (three years into our relationship) he went to college and I was in my last year of highschool. We've been together four years now. To be honest, our long distance relationship wasn't as difficult as you might think, it actually made our relationship stronger. We honestly never argued, never became mad or raised our voices at one another (although living together now I can't say that things haven't changed, lol) but the month of our four year anniversary we did go through a difficult time together, but we also overcame those difficult times likewise together.

The ~worst~ thing you could do is assume that he doesn't feel the same way about you the way you feel about him, assume he's going to break-up with you or assume that a long distance relationship won't last or work. The ~best~ thing you could do, the best thing ~both~ of you could do, is talk about it (how each of you feel, the pros and cons so to speak, etc.). To answer your question: Should [I] call? Yes, definitely. If you're serious about him, and likewise he is serious about you, then the two of you should discuss it.

All the best.
Liz

My boyfriend is the one who I thought was lying, yes.

I found out it someone else who was making up crap about him.

We have discussed it. He's the one that says it won't work. I'm willing to be in a long distance relationship, because I AM serious about him and really care about him. He's a best friend and a boyfriend all rolled up in one and no one else has ever been as good to me as he has, and no one else has ever made such a mutual connection with me.

He says he really wants it to work, but he wants to break up when he leaves, because, like I said, he think it wouldn't work.

I'm afraid to try and discuss it with him again, because I don't want to drive him away while he's still here, but at the same time, I think I have some valid points to make... And there are a lot of people who work in long distance relationships... Like YOU for instance :] congrats, by the way :DDD I know it would take work, but I'd still like to try with him.

Any advice?

"He says he really wants it to work, but he wants to break up when he leaves, because, like I said, he think it wouldn't work."

^ It sounds like he's confused.

You may be ready to make a long distance relationship work, but of course to make a long distance relationship work, to make any relationship work, it takes two; both partners have to be committed. It doesn't sound like he's committed, but then again he could just be afraid to get hurt or to hurt you. Whether you could change his mind or not, I don't know, if he's already considering breaking-up with you, then what do you have to lose by talking about it with him a second time?

True.

I'm gonna talk to him the next time we hang out.

If he says no, I guess I just have to let him go. But I don't want to give up that easily.

^ I agree. Myself, I wouldn't put too much effort in convincing or waste my time on someone who didn't feel the same as I did.

Like I said before, it takes two, and if he still wants out, which it clearly sounds like he's already made up his mind, there's not much you can do but let him go and move on with your life. He just won't know what he's missing or what kind of opportunity he passed up. And what I mean by that is, long distance relationships can work and, even if they don't, not all long distance relationships end negatively. For myself and my partner it made our relationship all the more stronger.