50-50?

"You know it's never fifty-fifty in a marriage. It's always seventy-thirty, or sixty-forty. Someone falls in love first. Someone puts someone else up on a pedestal. Someone works very hard to keep things rolling smoothly; someone else sails along for the ride." --Jodi Picoult (Mercy)

Do you agree or disagree with this quote? To what degree do you agree or disagree? Not just in terms of a marriage, but in terms of relationships in general.

When I read "It's always seventy-thirty, or sixty-forty" she (or rather her character that says as such) makes it sound permanent, like those numbers are fixed, and that's where I disagree. I believe that it can be temporary, that those numbers are interchangeable.

I also never think it's 50-50 in a relationship. i'm not married but i've dated my boyfriend for a year now. And it's sometimes where i do think the numbers are shifted between one another. but i don't think the numbers are permenant especially if one loves the other and vice versa. it's gona be times where at that point and time the other is not goin to love that person at the specific moment because they're "mad". But at the end of the day i don't believe the numbers between that couple or any couple that really love each other will stay the same.

I don't think anything in life is 50-50.

I think it's rubbish...my own personal opinion. People may be moody or sick...but that doesn't mean that they can't or won't give a hundred percent every day...I know I do. In my personal life (meaning my marriage) and even in my professional life. No matter what I always give a hundred percent and I know my husband does as well. To make it work you have to. If you don't then you don't care...and I don't fancy slackers HAHAHA

I think the way it's phrased in that quote (or at least this is what I take from it) it's kind of trying to say that one person always loves the other a little more than they love them back. That part I don't agree with, not in a healthy relationship. But I agree with what Brit said about putting in more/less effort depending on the day. However, I still think you should love the other 100 percent 100% of the time.

I think the way it's phrased in that quote (or at least this is what I take from it) it's kind of trying to say that one person always loves the other a little more than they love them back. That part I don't agree with, not in a healthy relationship. But I agree with what Brit said about putting in more/less effort depending on the day. However, I still think you should love the other 100 percent 100% of the time.

I took this quote from the book "Mercy" by Jodi Piccoult. At the end of the book there is a section called Questions for Discussion for the reader to ponder by themselves or in a group for discussion. It caught my eye right away and I thought it would make for a good topic. "Mercy" is one of my favorite books by Jodi Piccoult, thus far.

I agree Britt, I think this can also apply to relationships not just with a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend but also with friends and family too.

"...if you put 100% into it, you'll get it back..."

^ I think I like what you said hear better than what I had, it's true. The effort a person puts into maintaining their relationship will not only reflect on their relationship but the other person's efforts as well.

I know, as of recently (the past 8 months), my relationship had felt like it was "60-40 or 70-30". Sometimes it felt like I was putting more effort into our relationship than my partner; other times he was putting more in than me. But in reality, as Bob explained, we were both to blame. It's not hard to imagine why or how, in the last 8 months we've both had a friend killed in an accident, had been attending secondary education, had job-related troubles and issues with a roomate/family. Eventually it worked its way into our relationship. We're not perfect, no relationship is and I don't believe anyone can say otherwise, however, we both have admitted to our short comings and agree that there are things we need to focus on within our relationship. We're meeting each other 100% of the way.

"Someone puts someone else up on a pedestal. "

That is what really stood out to me, and about the only thing I can gather words for. I think the moment you put someone on a pedestal, is the moment where they think they don't have to contribute much. Not just with partner relationships, but with anything. My brother went out to college in California. Every time he is at home and we are at church events or banquets.. my parents love to brag how he is doing well in California, this and that. Yet, they are surprised when he doesn't call. How do they not get it? They say they love him being over there and can't help but brag about his studies and how well California is treating him. Yet they want him to come back to visit every second he can? That is just a minor example, but I feel a lot of things follow that pattern. A girl talks her boyfriend up to her friends.. how wonderful he is, how sweet, how caring. Yet when he does slip up somewhere and creates a mistake, she's surprised? She built him up, but in all honesty.. he's not a robot. And of course this goes both ways, where the boyfriend is doing the building up.

My friend texted me a silly quote the other day, that said.. "Treat yourself like a queen, and you'll attract a king." To be honest, I agree. If you want the best out of someone.. then you have to work on being your best too.

"If you want the best out of someone.. then you have to work on being your best too."

^ Lovely, agreed. This reminds me, have you ever heard someone say to their spouse or bf/gf "...you bring out the best in me"? In reference to what you said above and my own feelings, a person shouldn't wait for someone else to bring out the best in themselves. They should be the best that they can be regardless.

This gives me an idea for another topic.