How do you balance friends and guys?

  • Jackie Martinez
    14 years ago

    I've never been ay good at balancing time with my friends, and time with my significant other. I love my friends, and I love spending time with them, but it really gets me when they get upset at me when I want to spend time with him. And the worst part is that Im just starting to get to know him, so I am really kind of annoyed at this situation. I cant be mad at my friends, but how do I tell them that I still love them and want to see them but still be able to spend time away from them? I love my friends, they'll be here after he is not, so how do I balance the time so I can please my friends, me, and him?

  • quiet lullaby
    14 years ago

    Its important to keep your friends as friends. Its part of normal development to want to spend time with your partner. Try to set a regular time or occasion when you can hang out with friends. I always have my bestfriend round on wednesday nights, we normally watch a film and have a good weeks work of gossip. Your friends were there first, and though you might not feel as intensely about them, they are very important. just let them know that you are still you, but you've met an amazing person, whom you need to have an intimate relationship with. Everyone will understand, especially when their turn comes.
    I hope it all works out.

  • Elizabeth
    14 years ago

    I don't know if my advise will be helpful to you or not, you may have already gotten the situation figured out, but this is my take and it's here if you'd like to hear it:

    I agree with Britt, if you're bailing on your friends to be with your boyfriend I would understand why they'd be annoyed with you, but it doesn't sound like that's the case. It sounds like their just jealous, either that they think he's "stealing" you away or that they don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, or honestly do believe you're ditching them for him. Have they said anything to you about the situation? Have they given you a reason for why they are upset or have you asked them?

    There is no reason for you to have to choose between your friends and your boyfriend, you can have both friends and a boyfriend, they can be coexistent in your life. If your friends tell you to choose between them and your boyfriend, then that just goes to show you what kind of real friends they are and how they value your friendship, and if your boyfriend tells you to choose between him and your friends, then that tells you what kind of boyfriend he is and how he values your other relationships.

    My question, which is also my solution, is have they even met him? I know you'd like to spend time alone with your friends and time alone with your boyfriend, but you could also spend time together with both at the same time. You should introduce them, provided you haven't already, as well as suggest a time and place for everyone to get together. Who knows, maybe all they need is a chance to get to know one another. If they're really your friends and your boyfriend really cares for you they'll give it a try. Even if they don't end up liking each other they'd at least be civil to each other.