Masterpoet Tournament: Heat 2

Maybe she's saving them for a grand reveal...

Indeed I am, dearests. Only the first free-round heat had revealed poems in progress to entice participation levels.

The game is afoot! My PM box has been sizzling with amendments, apologies, sexual advances, bribes, death threats, and masterpieces-to-be. My hands are peppered with virtual paper cuts and there are towering piles of poetry on all sides, begging to have numbers placed next to them. The judges are keen, their noses are quivering as the sweat from our challengers fills the arena. However,

all 10 poems
have not yet been handed
in.

In Honolulu, it is still 9.44pm on Sunday. Maybe some poor backward challenger lives there. Nevertheless, I shall be closing this heat in 24 hours. Anyone who fails to hand in their poem on time is disqualified.

DISQUALIFIED.

OMG HAHAHAHHAAH...

I hear drums beating.....what will the outcome be????

The poems are in. They made it. They reek of cigarette smoke and gin. They are stained with tears and blood. They are thick with hope.

The judges are assessing them now. And you can too.

I invite every single one of you members on this site to privately pick your three favourite poems from the ten below. Please number them 3 to 1, with 3 being your most favourite. Also, if possible, state the reasons behind your choices- you will probably be quoted. If you wish to be anonymous, say so. PM your points and comments to me strictly by Wednesday night. You have two days. The poem with the most votes from the members gets the MEMBERS CHOICE AWARD of a bonus 2 points.

Thank you and good luck to all the challengers!

------------------------
Tempted

Flames of need leap high in her presence
Desires smolder under the guise of friendship
Animal need stir deep within my loins
Playful sexual taunts stoke fires of want.

Love blossoms in a heart taken by another
However; forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest.
Should I try to pick the fruit of my longings?
For another i have vowed allegiance of love

Erotic dreams fill my nights of this seductress
Beauty is unsurpassed, others pale in comparison
Her words leap into my heart and fill a vacancy
Thirsting for her nectar my guilt diminishing

Lustful thoughts grow amidst fantasies of her
Blinded: her refelection is burned into my eyes
Long after she is gone her essences lingers
Hypnotized and trembling for just one taste

------
Diamond in the Dark

I.

Dearest,
see me not as foolish

Be it betrayal
brings face, of a thousand smiles
yet a million lies.

II.

Dearest,
hear me not as an echo

Be it that water
seemingly silent, may flow
sensually with power.

III.

Dearest,
touch me not with feeble words

Be it that solitude, brings
no promise upon the horizon
of a drowning soul.

IV.

Dearest,
lead me not by fraying strings

Be it that a puppeteer`s fool,
dangles hopelessly
by illusions of passion.

_
V

Dearest

Our destiny -
Be it not, a diamond
in the dark ...

-------
Twin Flames (Senryu string)

Cold hearts set ablaze,
by scorching fires of passion--
when searching eyes meet

Venus come to life,
ready to conquer the world--
holding hands with you

Sweetest strawberries,
mixed with sensuous whipped cream--
a kiss from your lips

Spreading abundance,
from a never drying well--
twin flames united

-------
Approach Me

Approach me within my dreams and then
my eyes shall be glowing over again
Then the dark will further pay;
Helpless wishes for the day

Draw closer and closer by a thousand times,
till my breaths refine enhancing rhymes.
Smile with radiance when you can never be
As pleased by yourself, as you are with me

Though a part might yield its eternal soul
But this heart singled can't give a whole
Do not bestow your body yet helplessly keep
Your rhythms sinking in serene sleep

Touch me now; feel me ever so deep..
Caress me endlessly till these heartbeats leap
For my spirit and essence; perchance my name
will closely merge, to blaze like coal, heat and flame
Let us not be divisible, nor let feelings hide with shame

Adore me intensely; we shall never be distinct
But each with each; inseparably linked.
With ecstasy being high as heaven, dancing to a tune
Sweetly blooming like red roses in June

Shall my yearnings grow with each rising sun?
While the sands beneath your feet; near me run
Bringing you yet again, with your beaming smiles
Although your shoes has packed down ten thousand miles

Now..

Running round my big bottom;
Spells in hand of chance
shall raise your feet near romance

Where we shall look down on the destined shore, and together think "Would such a divine longing, when night arrives; ever sink"

--------
Cliched Love

When will we be together,
to hold and kiss
like good weather
in a heavenly bliss?

I want to be with you forever
where true love exists
and blue birds mend, but never sever.
For that... I will not miss!

I'd drive thousands of miles,
climb mountains that touch the sky,
say all those cliches (just to see your smiles),
just to have you close by.

--------
Unknown Destination.

with romance scripted
in emotive expressions,
heart printed lips -
(merely a temptation
towards an inferno of lust) -
lured us in by chance
to take the midnight train,
riding til' we reached
a destination unknown.

as we departed....

inhibitions suddenly
undressed themselves
exposing fantasies.

while veering to and fro
whispers were hushed
like railroad ties beneath us
passion hit its climax
along with satisfaction
releasing itself in whimpered sighs -
his honeyed breath
trailing in our tracks.

as our train came to a halt
we remained breathless
drizzled in twilight's luster.

we had arrived.

-------
Love,

Love,

She says to write it will lose me points,
but every time it's written, a
thousand butterflies are
awakened in my
overfed belly.

Love,

It's when you enter without permission,
and every time you do, a
new bridge is mended,
a broken string
is restrung.

Love,

That notion that everyone is watching;
that secret hidden in their smiles,
those tingles in my ankles
threatening any second
to collapse.

Love,

Time again the word repeats itself and
you wonder at sugar-sweet cliches,
though would it be at all silly
to insist loving you is
brand new?

Love,

To sacrifice a contest is the first thing
but not the last thing I would do
to hold it in my arms, to feel it
in my bones; to say it, "I
love you."

-------
In my draw

This photo see
Pushed way back, far back as it can go
Beneath my socks and jocks
Old Christmas cards and such

Been lying there a while it has
Face down so the socks won't see
Been lying there to hide the hurt
Beside it, the best of me

But I cant fool my socks and jocks
No, they know that I can see
Even when I turn my head
I see, as clear as clear can be

Upon the mantelpiece she sat
She whispered and held me tight
As gentle as a rippling stream
As turgid as the night

She taught me things I never knew
And things I'd never seen
She took me high, took me low
And everything in between

She'd walked these floors a million times
But I wouldn't let her in
She kissed my lips a million times
No, I never let her in

So I let her go as she had to leave
She said our time was done
So I didn't fight or put up a fuss
As she said that I had won

Lying awake in this interminable nite
Wondering where the hell she'd be
I stare and stare at that darn draw
At the very worst in me

-------
Ready For Enchantment

Whisper your thoughtful hellos
into my ready soul,
for my heart is open
and available to your touch -
that soft, sensual grasp.

If you say you adore me,
make it forever -
and promise me all you can.

For if I'm your one and only,
hold onto me dearly -
and don't let me slip
through your salty
fingertips.

Bonds cannot be broken -
not so easily,
when hearts are solid,
full of promise and trust,
and a connection like ours.

Never let go
of a feeling so strong,
an urge so alert,
that trembling in your body,
the one telling you to stay.

-------
Lost and Gone

A feeling fleeting away
once cascaded from the stars,
embodying all I could want
now restrained from view.

Moments so cherished,
whispering away feelings.
Locking my heart into submission,
denying me even hope.

Dreams spent in heaven
burn to ashes in agony
from even your appearance,
lingering on my fallen path.

Radiance bright as the sun
with joy seeping into me,
overfilling my cup
transfixed on your beauty.

Pausing troubling thoughts,
caring for me night and day,
ending troubling thoughts
encompassing me in heaven.

Lost and all gone now
washed away with the tides,
taking away my world and peace
leaving only my broken heart.

-----

I have cast my Votes and 2 cents,
Probability is with you Participants.

I'm with Britt, I like the idea of other people voting as well! :]

What the ef. I have only four members who have voted so far. Remember, even if you're still in this contest, you can leave your votes and comments, anonymously or not. Anyone can. Spread the word.

Dooo it. You have 24 hours.
You have 24 hours.

I like saying that.

3,3,3 for mine, done....

Make way, make way! The results for Heat 2 are in. Here are my
announcements:

* FORMATTING OF RESULTS:
Solid lines separate the results of each poem. Overall points are given at the top of each poem- the brackets include each judge's points, as well as any bonus points (+BP), penalties (-P) and Members Choice Award (+MC). Judges' comments are given below the title. This is followed by a dashed line which separates the Members' votes and comments.

* THE WINNER OF HEAT 2:
"Unknown Destination" was the runaway winner in this heat, scoring top points from all the judges and coming a close second in the Members Choice Award. Congratulations!

* MEMBERS CHOICE AWARD:
"Diamond in the Dark" battled its way to the top of the voting tally to receive the Members Choice Award. 13 members participated in the voting with 6 votes each, distributing a total of 78 votes across the poems. It was interesting to note that every single poem entered in this heat was awarded with several votes from site members- it speaks of the diversity of talents and tastes here.

* The last three listed below have been...
ELIMINATEDDDD LIMINATEDDD INATEDD TEDD ED...
But you don't go away empty handed. Each of you have earnt the consolation prize of your own Masterpoet Tournament board game to play at home with your friends and family. Thank you and good luck for the next tournament (we might even see you in the next heat...look out!).

RESULTS:
___________________________________

32 points (10+10+10+2BP):
UNKNOWN DESTINATION.

"I thought this poem was the most distinct, in that it was rooted to a particular situation. While poets can feel all these lofty, abstracted feelings, I think in general we do best when we can draw concrete images from the world. Instead of talking about how "I'll love you forever because you're beautiful and my heart is humungous," the author narrows their scope to focus on one - rather scandalous - encounter. In particular, this poem had a good array of interested phrases, such as "heart printed lips" and "drizzled in twilight." I also appreciated the paralleling of this sexual encounter with the rush and mystery of the train ride. And do I detect a hint of double entendre with the journey ending with this tryst: "we had arrived?" I think I do."

"Unknown Destination isn't perfect by all means but original and thoughtful in layout. There's some great imagery too, with a little ambiguity for the reader to take. 'honeyed breath' is a mistake but addition of semi-metaphors, similes and thought provoking syntax make it a favourite for me."

--------
12 votes (1+3+3+1+3+1)- Honourable Mention for the Members Choice Award

"From the title, to the lusty sensual goodness..it brings me to the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship. The enticing looks, the seductive smiles, the spontaneous romps. I love the wording and how passionate it felt, also with the feeling of literally being on railroad tracks. Earnest lovers, giving each other their everything. Beautiful." --anon

"Flowed so smoothe with more rhythm than rhyme to take me on a passionate trip" --Michael D Nalley

"Of the remaining poems, this was the best of the group. It too needs work. I am not fond of some of the lines used, like - heart printed lips, what is that." --anon

"sexy poem...loved the idea of his honey breath trailing along the train tracks" --anon

____________________
24 points (3+9+8+2BP+2MC):
DIAMOND IN THE DARK

"The final lines of this poem were intriguing, and I liked the theory behind the layout, but there was something about the wording that gnawed at me. I don't think "be it that" was the most proper way of phrasing those lines. This isn't some unforgivable poetic sin, but in a contest where I was this uncertain about my rankings, it just happened to be enough."

"Diamond in the Dark is one of the better structured and more carefully laid out poems of the bunch. Whilst I don't admire the repetition and archaic syntax, I admire the layout and the build up towards the final stanza. It's rich with unfortunate choices of words but the idea is there, and it's admirable."

-------
13 votes (1+3+3+3+3)- recipient of Members Choice Award

"I like this and the message, however the only thing I could do without is the numbering as well as the repetition of "Dearest". I think without those, it could flow together magically and really create more feeling and emotion to the poem." --anon

"I found this poem, in a way and another really unique..the form is gd...the word choice is simple yet revealed really deep meanings..in a very well expressed way. The concept as well, suited the theme the best.. Besides I really found some deep expressions over here.Despite that personally it reminded me of the old poetry, which I have a liking over." --Brillant aka Sunshine

"I loved how this poem was broken up into different sections, I thought that definitely made this poem stick out amongst all the others - almost as if each section was a little snippet from a love letter. I also thought the repetition of "Dearest" was a great alternate word than "love" or something cliche and boring. A great write." --anon

"it was sort of like a prayer, a prophesy, a vow...so beautiful" --anon

__________________
23 points (9+6+9-1P):
LOVE,

"The language is simple, but I was completely endeared by the cheekiness of this poem. It completely demolishes the "fourth wall" that exists within most poems, by directly referencing the contest it was created for. Within the poem there's an earnestness that's hard to ignore. This poet isn't asking permission. They're grinning and reckless, defiantly shouting their feelings from the rooftoops. And ain't that love?"

"Love is unoriginally titled, and again, the repetition achieves nothing -- It's very flowery, very twee and cheesy but the third and fourth stanzas are actually very well written. I particularly liked that the persona admits to the reader that their love for the other is nothing new. Unfortunately, the opening stanza put me right off. Butterflies? Overfed belly? Eugh."

"I really dug this piece. I adore the fact that you didn't compromise your poem for a contest. I really liked the repeat of love, it was a clever touch, considering the rules."

-----------
8 votes (1+2+3+2)

"A clever poem writing about the challenge we were given, but it didn't really hold any humor as I was hoping it would be a bit more serious. It was an okay poem though." --anon

"Yes, yes! This poet loves love and revels in it, rebels with it..What a poetic spirit." --anon

____________________
20 points (7+8+3+2BP):
TWIN FLAMES (Senryu string)

"The final stanza sold me on this poem. In fact, I think it could have stood alone and been lovely."

"Twin Flames has a nice title, and the string of senryus gives the piece focus, but the third stanza really needs to go. It's very cringeworthy when balanced against the rest, which are fairly well written and descriptive. Nice direction, yet shortlived and weighed down by an unfortunate third stanza."

-------
9 votes (2+2+3+1+1)

"Normally strings of the same form, especially those of strict meter, suck, point blank. But I thought this was done so well that I wouldn't be counting syllables. The writer captivated me with their words and magic. One thing that turned me off was the overuse of --'s. I thought they did nothing for the poem, and to have them in the same line in every set didn't seem right, but more so placed for cosmetic reasoning." --anon

"Good work with the form and each Senryu stands alone as write that doesn't need the others to survive. I did not count syllables. The flow in each is good. It too is easy to read, not forced and is also
understandable." --anon

"I thought this poem was okay, but it didn't particularly grab me like other poems did. Nothing really stood out to me as unique, I felt as though they were words I've already heard before just by a different poet. I did however admire the idea of 'twin flames' being the two hearts uniting. Other than that, I didn't really see anything worth of praise." --anon

______________________
17 points (6+4+6+1BP):
READY FOR ENCHANTMENT

"I kind of liked the simple, direct address that it makes. The poem is pointed directly at the beloved, and makes claims of the beloved in a keen, but devout, way. It has the feeling of a speaker who is allowed to be demanding, because they are so sure of the purity of their feelings."

"Ready For Enchantment is mostly okay but it's flabby with cliches and stale in subject matter. First stanza needs to go. Unlike most of the poems on display here though, there's actually some emotion seeping through. It's not entirely blockaded by fancy language. It's quite true in sentiment which is admirable."

---------
6 votes (2+1+1+2)

"I found this piece INDEED lovely and wise and was holding a message in between the lines. I love the way the feelings been expressed and definitely love the romance and the description..the opening line was TOO catchy...LOVED it...Oh and the title.. PERFECT for a romantic poem" --Brillant aka Sunshine

"A true expression of real love and emotions were rather strong and the writer expressed themselves nicely. The punctuation was placed well. Could have possibly been a little more creative, but the simplicity was nice." --anon

_____________________
15 points (4+5+7-1P):
LOST AND GONE

"I thought a lot of the phrasings here were pretty run-of-the-mill, but something kept bringing me back to it. The poem is at least consistent in it's theme, and variates on that theme in every stanza. My favorite section was the final one, talking about the speaker's world being washed out by the tide. Having been around tide often enough, that sense of decay and desolation that's left is potent. Maybe this single image could be a good focusing point for a future poem."

"Lost and Gone has a nice flow and the language used isn't too heavy, though I feel the latter parts of the poem become sticky with unthoughtful phrasing. The balance of precise imagery, like the heart, and the abstract similes and imagery is disquieting...Nice, but nothing that gripped me or allowed me to take anything away from it."

----------
4 votes (2+1+1)

"this piece...Just was unique as much as the ones I chose b4, because it gave me both kinds of chills..sad ..love..flipped me from mood to another in a deep way. The wording was gd, not much better than the rest of the poems, but it had something special that attracted me to it." --Brillant aka Sunshine

"A nice word choice and an overall good poem. Not much to say about this one." --anon

___________________
15 points (5+7+4-1P):
TEMPTED

"Simple, bawdy, questionable editing... still kinda hot."

"Tempted is taunted with adjectives and sacrifices substance for flowery words, though I admire the author for choosing desire instead of taking a road through cliches which it seems many poets have done here. It was a nice read, overweight, though, with pre modifiers."

--------
10 votes (1+3+2+2+2)

"This was the best of all as far I am concerned although it needs work. It made the most sense, was easy to read, flow was good for me, did not seem forced, words fit and are understandable." --anon

"I thought some lines were rather cliche - for example; 'forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest'. However the line that followed was rather brilliant and a nice touch as it was asked in question form. You could definitely feel the romance in this piece, the writer's feelings were very vivid & expressed to the fullest." --anon

___________________
12 points (8+3+1):
IN MY DRAW

"There were a couple of grammar issues here, but I think most of them boiled down to the colloquial language of the whole poem - which was, incidentally, one of the things that drew me to it. It read like song lyrics: homey, bitter, and regretful. Like some of my other top picks, the poet took a concrete, physical approach, and used that object/situation to SHOW us some of the effects of love, rather than telling us."

"In My Draw is very immature and childlike and takes forever to get to the point, whilst spending huge amounts of time playing around with words and rhymes. The 6th stanza is almost promising, yet it seems unplanned and messy in approach with an unsatisfying ending. Rhyme is clumsy too."

-----------
6 votes (3+3)

"very real and raw..i love this poem" --anon

____________________
9 points (2+2+2+3BP):
APPROACH ME

"I think this poem stood it's ground, but in the end I kept having the feeling that it was too focused on the rhyme scheme, and in so doing it lost some of its potential clarity of message."

"Approach Me is mostly nonsensical and trite, with scattered rhyme which doesn't really add to the overall flow of the poem. Confusing imagery, abstract adjectives and bad grammar. First stanza is mildly promising, too. I can't quite get the point of the poem either, there's nothing to take away."

-------
5 votes (3+2)

"This poem came alive to me from the very first line with a seductive allure. For me it had a flow within the flow and the rhyme was not at all forced The romantic imagery was out of this world with a beatiful touch of reality" --Michael D Nalley

"I liked the ryhme scheme, needs some polishing, still a good poem, the Poet did use the 7-5-7 count and did use my big bottom in its content, which is admirable." --Edward D Zurovec

"This poem was nicely put together, yet maybe just a little too long for my personal liking. The rhyme was rather good, helping the words flow with ease. Didn't like the usage of 'big bottom', it's definitely forced, and would seem rather awkward and misplaced if that wasn't even for a bonus point. I also thought there was a lot of repetition with words throughout this piece which kind of set me off, and by the end of the poem I was kind of bored since the poem is already rather lengthy." --anon

____________________
6 points (1+1+5-1P):
CLICHED LOVE

"This poem made a good run at being playful, but in the end didn't have the substance to rise above its own irony."

"Like Approach me, but shallower in context, Cliched Love is a slice of triteness. It is an awful title, yet appropriate, I guess. If this was purposefully written to be cliched, then I can't really commend the author at all. Bad rhyming, too. 'All those cliches' is non-specific and the point of the poem is lost immediately, even when considering how short the poem actually is."

---------
5 votes (2+1+2)

"This was a sweet little romantic package that I could imagine in a post card" --Michael D Nalley

"I really enjoyed this simple love poem, I'd use "I'd" for the first line of every stanza, were it mine. I'd also incorporate it in the Title. The repetition would stand out, but that's me." --Edward D Zurovec

"Nothing special about this poem for me. I did like 'For that...I will not miss!' The exclamation point added a nice touch and emphasis. I can't really say anything else stood out to me though." --anon

You're so organized, Abby. Thanks again for doing this. Thanks to the judges and voters and poets... thanks to everyone!

And congrats to those moving on. Congrats to those not moving on - thanks for participating. Better luck next time :)

I am quite surprised my poem wasn't torn to pieces and cast to the fire by the way (for future reference), haha.

Hey Abby top job,this would have to be the best contest this site has ever had, certainly any that I've been involved in
Fan-bloody-tastic

And thanks also to the judges for there time and effort- well done!

Congratulations,
Unknown Destination.
to all you others still in
the Game,
Don't Stop Believing,
Journey
on and on and on and on

and to the gallant efforts of
those fallen Poets,
Kudos

Great work Abby

This is the best contest I have seen in the 3.5 years I have been a member:)

You are really an asset to this site, Abby.

I think it is really great to have the poems on display anonymously and to see the comments there as well. Very insightful. Congrats to all who are still in the game and indeed kudos to the other members, it takes guts to rise to a challenge such as this!!!!

Special thanks to anon who commented more than twice on the winning poem.

"Timmy!!! Jimmih Timmih Timmih? Timmih, Timmih! Jimmih... Jimmih! Jimmih! Timmih!"
Up the Down Steroid"

Anon has as much intestinal fortitude as anything rejected from any of my larger organs

My hope is that there is a balance of gender in judges, or we should adhere to don't ask don't tell

But serioulsy I agree this has been, so far, the most exciting contest we have had in a while.

Enjoy yourselves and have fun is my motto
<< Matthew 20:16 >>

Peace

Congrats everyone - there have been some really awesome poems submitted & it's nice to see so many members taking part in this...definitely makes it a lot more fun! Good luck to those still in the competition!

Congrats to all those moving on to the next round.

To Abby : I must say this is the most unique and exciting challenge I have yet to see. Wonderfully organized!

To the judges : Wow you guys are doing a terrific job. Many thanks for the time and effort you put in to each and every write.

To the members who also cast their votes : It is great to see everyone participating and taking the time to read and vote. Awesome !

Edward & Michael, you two are precious. Love your wit... and your cheekiness too, Mike.

A cool contest and the observations by the judges on each poem was tastfully done. I appreciate the suggestions and will take them to heart for the next one I write
TJ

Ha, I was hoping someone would make an anon joke. A very helpful persona indeed. Thank you to all the anons and non-anons who contributed to this heat. The comments are much more important than the numbers (sort of) (not really, not if you want to just win).

And thanks for all the compliments, everyone! However, this tournament contest was a collective idea from all of you, if you remember. I think Ann Marie thought of the elimination idea and then it developed into something grander through everyone's help. Britt conducted the first one, I'm doing this one, who's going to be the next Master of Ceremonies? I hope this continues.

But yeah, this is a pretty kickass contest. Who knew that all those years I spent in scientific method and academic organisation would finally prove so fruitful.

So...any specific comments about the outcome of this heat? Any poems that took your fancy or made you vomit?

It was nice to see that the members' votes correlated well with our judges' points. I think the 'Tempted' poem was the only one displaying some discrepancy between the two. The judges were unified in their choice for first place, yet had trouble with the rest. "Diamond in the Dark" and "In My Draw" generated the most discrepancy in their award points. Hmmm...

It was wonderful that "Love,", a poem that flouted the bonus points and ignored the penalties in true poetic spirit, nevertheless scored big points from our judges. However, in some cases, it was clear from the close scores that those points and penalties can make all the difference, risky as they may seem.... ooooh.

This contest was REAlllyy FUN for me and challenging XD I just LOve it