Masterpoet Tournament: Heat 3

  • abracadabra
    14 years ago

    Six poets have joined the onlookers, clutching their well-earnt consolation prizes. Seven challengers remain, flexing their fingers, their eyes fixed on the Masterpoet crown.

    This heat shall be heated indeed.

    Firstly, you must submit your poems within the next THREE DAYS to qualify. I feel you can do this- most of you handed in your poems within three days in the last heat.
    Secondly, only the top three of you are safe to move through to the Championship round.
    Thirdly, to help you on your mission, I have called upon our three grand judges to offer you some guidance, some gifts. This shall be the theme of this heat.

    Here are the gifts of the Magi. Use at least one of them in your poem to qualify.

    1) The Gift of Nature's Wonder:
    Be inspired by the first image of the dancer tree you see on this scroll-
    http://www.desicolours.com/strange-looking-trees/02/04/2009

    2) The Gift of Spiritual Wisdom:
    "Earth's crammed with heaven, And every common bush afire with God; But only he who sees, takes off his shoes - The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries." --Elizabeth Browning

    3) The Gift of Language and Thought:
    "American English" (to be used as the title or part of the content of your poem or both)

    BONUS POINTS:

    * Your poem has something of 'pirate' in it- the word, the themes, the life, the language etc. (1 point)
    * You poem does not contain any similes or multiple obvious metaphors (2 points)
    * Your poem is a villanelle (2 points)
    * Your poem incorporates all three gifts (3 points)

    PENALTIES (maximum deduction of 1 point each):

    * Your poem contains the word "like"
    * Your poem is the last one submitted

    Please PM your poems to me BY MONDAY 25 October, specifying the number of any bonus points.

    SPECIAL NOTE:

    After judging for Heat 3 is complete, there shall be a furious 24-hour WILD CARD round in this thread. Here, all 10 eliminated poets have one last dash to make the final round. This shall only occur if at least five poems have been submitted for the Wild Card opportunity. The most favoured poem shall be fast-tracked to the Championship round. More details to follow after this heat.

  • Ingrid
    14 years ago

    Arggghhhh! Abby!!!

  • silvershoes
    14 years ago

    Crap.

    *Got mine in, suckas!
    It's crap, crap, crap - but it's in. I couldn't handle the anxiety.
    BAM.

  • Jad
    14 years ago

    Three days is a short time :P People better start thinking :P

  • sibyllene
    14 years ago

    So hot.

  • Kevin
    14 years ago

    My name is Kevin Alexander Francis Murray....father to a murdered poem, husband to an amazonian Mod...

    and I will have my revenge.

  • sibyllene
    14 years ago

    Even hotter.

  • silvershoes
    14 years ago

    Oh baby, oh baby.

  • abracadabra
    14 years ago

    The heat is on. Three poems have already been submitted. Make sure yours isn't the last!

    Jane, the mystery master is frowning upon you.

    Britt, if someone uses all three gifts, they must be really... GIFTED! Yes? Yes?? I doubt it will happen though.

    Kevin, my love, all the best in exacting your revenge. Maybe write your poem in English this time.

    Tonguestickingoutface.

  • abracadabra
    14 years ago

    Seven people this heat. Only the top 3 are safe for the finals. Oh yeah, oh yeah.

  • abracadabra
    14 years ago

    Of course, especially for this heat. In a competition where the best poem only gets a max of 7 points per judge, the meaty bonus points are going to make things very tight indeed...

    * Have just received an entry that incorporated all three gifts! DING DING!

  • silvershoes
    14 years ago

    Crikey. Impossible!

  • Ingrid
    14 years ago

    You killed me, Abby :0)

  • sibyllene
    14 years ago

    ^Abby! How could you?!

  • Ingrid
    14 years ago

    Ha ha ha ha ha!

    I died of an over-heated brain :p

  • abracadabra
    14 years ago

    Most poems have been handed in, just one day left!

    While we're waiting for people to qualify, let's discuss Elizabeth Browning's quote above. It seems there has been some confusion in its interpretation. What do you think it's about?

  • sibyllene
    14 years ago

    Is it confusion in the interpretation, or just differing views on what it means?

  • abracadabra
    14 years ago

    Nope, I welcome different views. But at least a couple of people have had difficulty grasping much meaning from it at all. These threads are supposed to be used for open discussion between participants and anyone else, so feel free!

  • sibyllene
    14 years ago

    Alright well, maybe some background info?

    "Earth's crammed with heaven, And every common bush afire with God; But only he who sees, takes off his shoes - The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries." --Elizabeth Browning

    This quote is a pretty direct allusion to the Biblical story of Moses. When Moses was in the desert, right before he got his "Free your people from Egypt" mission, he came across a burning bush. Recognizing that this was something out of the ordinary, and feeling God's presence, Moses slipped the sandals off his feet before he approached the shrub. This removal of the shoes is widespread throughout many civilizations. It signifies that the person has entered sacred ground, and the removal of the shoes shows the person's intent to not sully that sacredness. (Perhaps a Muslim member would have something more to offer on this point. I believe you take your shoes off in mosques?)

    Now, I have my own opinions on what the quote itself is arguing, but I'd be more interested to see what other people think, or if anyone chooses to use this quote. Maybe someone wants to poetically defend the blackberry-eaters?

  • Lu
    14 years ago

    "Earth's crammed with heaven, And every common bush afire with God; But only he who sees, takes off his shoes - The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries." --Elizabeth Browning
    ^^^
    What do I think it means ?

    Earth has many beauties. And even the little things created by God hold beauty too. But sometimes we are to busy in our lives to stop and see them. We don't pay attention ... So therefore we sit around and pluck blackberries.

    It is only when we can no longer see ... like happened to myself a few years back when I lost my sight for a short while. That I truly began to appreciate "heaven on earth" and all His creations.

    Or maybe I am just crazy and have taken this quote entirely wrong .... lol

  • Nicko
    14 years ago

    In my simple terms I take it to mean:

    The earth is filled with natures beauty yet most walk through life without appreciating it.

    The "pluck blueberries" I take to mean 'consume its wealth for their own pleasure" as social conscience wasn't as evolved as it is now. I don't think they were aware man was doing irreparable damage to the earth, in 1850's they probably weren't...

    Sibs holly reference to take your shoes off is probably right.

  • sibyllene
    14 years ago

    Ha, you guys had way more succinct ways of saying it than I did. I wasn't sure if I should spell out what I thought but sense all the cook kids are doing it, here's what I wrote:

    Regarding the Browning quote, then, I take it to mean that "Heaven," (or sacredness, or quintessential beauty, or God) can be found in any rock or flower or cave or gesture or, in this case, bush. Even if something isn't literally burning, the wise might still realize that it's "afire with God." What this quote seems to argue is that we ought to be open to recognizing the innate magnificence and absurdity of the things of this world. Those who see and honor this sacredness metaphorically "take off their shoes" in deference to and recognition of the incredible they're in the presence of. Those who don't see any sacredness in the world are, in Browning's opinion, likely to just "sit around eating blackberries." That is, they might use (or abuse?) the world, without ever realizing what they're doing.

    Like I said, I'm long-winded and you two are professionals.

    Also, Luanne - That's definitely poignant, what you said about losing your sight for a while. I often try to imagine what it would be like to lose one of my senses. It definitely puts some things into focus.

  • Nicko
    14 years ago

    Ha Sibs when i read your response all i see is "eloquence"

  • sibyllene
    14 years ago

    Tomayto tomahto.

  • Nicko
    14 years ago

    Ha.....big difference...

  • Lu
    14 years ago

    Sibyllene 10 years ago I lost all vision in one eye and had partial in the other (for about 9 days)
    It is amazing how many things we or rather ( I should speak for myself and say I ) ... lol .. truly took for granted before.
    I am no bible pusher by any means ... so please no one take it that way.
    But I do have a much better understanding and appreciation of things now-a-days.

    Funny how things work out ... lol

  • Courageous Dreamer
    14 years ago

    Attention everyone! I will be hosting the next tournament, contest, whatever you wish to call it. However, I'm on the search for worthy judges. If you are at all interested, please send me a PM and a brief explanation of why you would be the best judge over anyone else on this site. After about a week, I will gather all the PM's and make a decision. Now, get those PM's sent my way, thank you! :)

  • abracadabra
    14 years ago

    Heat 3 poems are in. The Magi are now surveying how well our challengers have used their gifts. If you earthly citizens would also like to leave your comments, you are most welcome to do so in this thread.

    Good luck!

    ________________

    Ballerina

    Ballerina, immobile goddess,
    Your arms stretched towards the heavens
    Devine dancer from earth's fertile soil
    With graceful limbs that cannot bend,
    Yet,
    Seem to pirouette,
    Illuminated by a gentle moon
    With the infinite wisdom
    Of all creatures of the forest
    You live within God's grace
    As you are
    Knowing all is as it should be
    And, as the years drape rings
    around your core
    Your inner clock, it ticks
    In a rhythm only you can dance to
    On a curved path of time
    Accessible only to those who know
    Inner peace is to exist
    Without pretensions

    ------

    Optic Death and the Color Vision

    Rooted to Mother Earth,
    molding majestic sculptures
    upon Father sky,
    replenishing her spirit
    with a virtuous sip -
    from Nutura`s goblet
    (She breathes)

    Born -
    by midnight dream,
    barefoot musicals serene,
    (she dances) naked
    against bitter winds
    of reality and warm truths.

    In the light - of darkness
    offers her soul
    with sincerity and silence.
    Giving thanks and praise
    upon bleeding knees
    for gifts received.

    For she sees - without sight.
    Believes - without seeing
    "American English"
    and the six dot visions
    - her windows to the world -
    ... Her gift

    * Notes: Poem additionally inspired by this quote by Helen Keller
    `` Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn whatever state I am in, therin to be content``

    ***Six dot vision - braille

    ------

    Tiny Dancer [Villanelle]

    Tiny dancer with her feet so small
    Wraps her world around your heart,
    She will build you up to take the fall.

    Learning to dance before she can crawl,
    Zealous and determined from the start -
    Tiny dancer with her feet so small.

    Little in her mind, her energy so tall,
    Courage to be never broken apart,
    She will build you up to take the fall.

    Even with her back pressed against a wall,
    With her simple treasures - they'll never part,
    Tiny dancer with her feet so small.

    Standing so boldly to hold the call,
    Astonishing fluidity, beauty, and smarts -
    She will build you up to take the fall.

    One last dance, she'll give it her all
    A swift curtsey before she departs,
    Tiny dancer with her feet so small
    She will build you up to take the fall.

    ------

    In that tree, Maria

    You were there
    when I gazed upon that tree.
    You were there
    dancing beneath emerald fingertips,
    lighted by the lamplight;
    your ethereal silhouette
    was there, poised starkly
    against a darkness
    I could not name.

    You were there
    in language and in breath.
    You were there
    in muscular stature.
    You were there
    when a friend would have been lost
    had you not been.

    You were there
    in brave pursuit of a love.
    You were there
    waiting as he was
    swept from your outstretched hands;
    as the corner of his smile
    was captured
    in a greedy clutch.

    You were there
    to forgive,
    when we both knew
    you should not.

    You were there
    in an age of innocence.
    You were there in the quiet hours
    of corruption.
    You were there
    to watch me rise again;
    a phoenix,
    mimicked by a firebird that was
    you.

    You were there -
    until you were not.

    Then you were
    dwindling beside an hearth
    that would not light again;
    the phoenix seen in
    you
    could be mimicked no more.

    You were
    crumpled on the floor.

    You were
    burnt out; swept under
    the carpet of time's undoing.
    You were
    an ashen memory,
    vague against the blazing spirit
    I knew you to be.

    But

    You are here now
    in secret glimpses,
    when I gaze upon that tree.

    You are here
    now!
    For all to see -
    dancing beneath emerald fingertips,
    lighted by the lamplight;
    ethereal silhouette
    poised starkly
    against a darkness I
    cannot name.

    ------

    Vengeance.

    thy tree crafted with God's power,
    be but a resemblance of thine being -
    put on earth with purpose
    to take action upon souls -
    yet thee road be difficult.

    as black spots cover me
    - from head to toe -
    food sparingly dangles
    along with thine voice.

    me life withers.

    avast ye!

    thy fingers sculpted with precision
    spout onward
    sailing to the outermost limits,
    beyond the impossible.

    aye!

    I shall seek revenge
    with thine villainous spirit
    for ye will not pluck life
    from thine tree...

    -------

    Our Soul

    Huddled in a cardboard box shivering from the cold
    Not a glance do you give, just pull your jacket closed
    Pretend you didn't notice them maybe they'll go away
    constantly complaining how they ruined your day

    How did this all come about? The callousness you feel
    While the hunger and the cold to them is very real
    Do you try to lend a hand or go merrily on your way?
    Maybe they give conversation to occupy your day

    This writings not about the poor or the down and out.
    But about a helping hand and what your souls about.
    If each one helps just one child or a family in need
    God will bless your house and in His grace you'll be

    ------

    American English

    A downgraded nation,
    fallen
    resembling words spoken
    from the ages past,
    encrypted into the present.

    Not withstanding fallen words,
    losing
    meaning and definition;
    adhering rules and
    way of English punctuation.

    Straying the correction
    from view,
    buried under deception,
    tangled sentences,
    losing American English.

  • abracadabra
    14 years ago

    In particular, I would like to discuss which poems you think contain similes/metaphors and which do not. Can a poem ever really be non-metaphorical? Examples?
    (Challengers, please note that all bonus points have already been confirmed with you and cannot be changed.)

  • sibyllene
    14 years ago

    What was the rule? No similes and no more than one metaphor?

  • abracadabra
    14 years ago

    Yup. For TWO bonus points no less.

  • silvershoes
    14 years ago

    I vote NONE of the poems have metaphors or similes :) Hehehe...

  • sibyllene
    14 years ago

    All language is metaphorical. No points for anyone.

  • silvershoes
    14 years ago

    All or none! Agreed.

  • abracadabra
    14 years ago

    Punks.

  • Ingrid
    14 years ago

    I agree with Jane and Sib on this, ha ha.

  • silvershoes
    14 years ago

    Mwahaha.

  • sibyllene
    14 years ago

    Waiting on bated breath.

    Bated, I tell you!

  • abracadabra
    14 years ago

    I've received all the results and scores from the judges now.
    Meh....

    Just going out to buy myself a scone and have a nice little snooze in the sun. Cheers.

  • silvershoes
    14 years ago

    I have a bad feeling so if you could just postpone the results indefinitely, that'd be ace ;)

    Hoo hoo hee hee haa haa ooh ooh. K post them, ya ninny. I'm ready.