4 and 1/2 years..... over?

I worked SO hard to get my boyfriend. Met him when we were thirteen, FINALLY a year later on april 17, 2006 i like, forced him to ask me out... we were each others first, first love, first second base, first heart break, first time, first true happiness.

It's never really been to rocky, one part after two years we had a tiff, but aside from that, we have been perfect for each other.

I recently went to college, and have had a lot of crap in my life go on. And I was unsure about how I felt about him, if I truly loved him or if I was just in love with the old him, or the comfort ability of him, or the idea of loving him..... We were engaged, I broke up with him two months ago.

I have experience being alone now, as well as... ahem, other guys..... but now I feel I miss him, and I do love him, and i was stupid to end it.

We talk every day still, I know he still loves me, I don't know if once I tell him what has happened the past two months, if he will want me back.

What if we get back together and we..... I ...... hit a rocky patch again, and break his heart again...

That's the story in a nutshell, any ideas?

^ agreed.

I don't think you should make any decision right now. You still don't know what you want and you shouldn't risk breaking his heart again. I do believe that you are using him as a comfort blanket and haven't completely let go since you still talk to him on the phone. I think you're letting him still be THERE for back up.

Honestly, I believe if someone really love someone you wouldn't have any doubts or wondering what if. You would just know. But then again, maybe people realize that after losing the person or after many experiences. My point is, you have to figure it out first.

I know you think it's been 4 1/2 years and that's long and it's crazy that you're throwing it away. But if he isn't the "one" for you then you should think positively. At least, it's not 7 years later or at least you didn't marry him and THEN had doubts. It's understandable that you're feeling lonely right now because you haven't found a guy that's BETTER than him or a guy that you've FALLEN for. But the right guy isn't going to fall from the sky. Don't go looking for a guy, the right guy will come when you least expect it.

Right now, just have fun and enjoy being independent. Don't be one of those girls that NEED a guy in their life because at the end of the day, it's just YOU. At the end of your life, it's just YOU. So, take care of yourself first.

AGREED^^

I think he's your back up or what ever you want to call it.. It's to soon to make a decision.. I think you need to truly let him go and do some really hard thinking about you and him and see if you truly love him or he's jus a comfort blanket.. It isn't fair to him to just drag him along with you if your not sure.. I once felt that way and when I realized what I was doing it hit me that I didn't truly love him I was just kinda scared to not be with him.. Think about it

My boyfriend and i haven't reach our one year mark but we have about every emotion in or relationship

Heres 4 easy questions to figure out if you truely love someone or not, and they are all yes or no, so its pretty simple.
1.) When your away from him, even for a few hours, do you find yourself kind of wishing he was there with you?
2.) When you wake up next to him, dose the mere peace on his sleeping face bring you peace?
3.) Dose he amaze you when you think about him?
and 4.)Do you think his flaws only add to how perfect he is?

Trust me, if one of these are yes, then the other 3 will be too. usally how it works. If you love him, go back to him, youve been with him for along time, and natrually you became curious about the other guys out there, Im pretty sure hes been curious about other women a few times, (not saying hes done anything dont take that the wrong way) but thats life. Now youve had your experaince with other guys, and yet hes still your favorit flavor, and I bet your still his. the last two months, he should understand if you just tell him the truth. dont sugar coat it, dont beat around it, just come out and say it. Live and Learn, oh, and after 3 years of being married, on top of a 2 year bf/gf thing before that, an almost divorce in the middle, I know one thing is certain in love, and only one thing, its the single most frustrating, cailming, logical, confusing, ugly, and beautiful (and MANY more oxymoronic things) thing in the entire universe. and I wouldnt give it up for anything in the entire universe.

One thing I've been finding out for the past year that I've been with my boyfriend, love is hard. It's beautiful and it makes life worth it, but it's also very hard. There are days when it all seems perfect and there are days when you want to hide and never come out again. I mean fights happen, you lose some interest after a while. When you get surrounded by other guys you start to think what if i can find someone better? Our minds are complicated and so we make out lives complicated too. The thing is you have to listen to your heart every once in a while. Our heads are complicated but our hearts are easy- you either love him or you don't. If you love him, really really love him, then ask to get him back. You might have to try hard to rebuild things between you two but it will be worth it. Of course it also depends if he'll take you back.

Thank you all for your advice... I lost my head in a new place and I lost myself as well.

I told him everything, every little detail of how i felt, why I left, what I did.

He took me back:)

Good for you. I hope it all works out :)