THE ULTIMATE BATTLE OF POETS.

I "think" I like "Change" the best. I don't know, I get drawned to it every time I reread the list.

Yes JAd, i love the images and the word choice!

I know, right. :]

I have to savor each poem I am inpressed with the scanning I have done so far

I believe most of us agree this well be a great contest

Round one is now officially CLOSED!

One last poem was submitted, Ill post that below!

That means we had a total of 15 poems submitted, wonderful job everyone! I will now send the poems anonymously to my 3 judges.

I think you all did a great job, it will be a hard choice for the judges I'm sure!

Results will be posted in 1-2 days after I receive them back from the judges. Please be patient!

Gypsy Soup

I remember the gypsy soup
thick with potato and radish,
ginger and stones and snow,
the gathered gifts of a day, bubbling pot
bellied over the camp fire
that flecked our teeth with gold
while the wind carried its murmurring smell
into the darkness that fell unnoticed
down the mountain to the village
where the people would suddenly pause
in the cold edge of the wilderness and think
I wish I was free
I wish I was free
before going inside to their suppers.

Patient o.0 What on earth is that. :P Anyway it's good to see a good selection of poems and a new one :]

My highness.. will run the next one. It'S a rich one ..:P

I'd love to host the next one; who's it upto?

No it's not :)

sorry DanDan it's not upto no one lol actually who comes first sits first

MWUAH :p

but ya he reserved the one after.

Oh...:/

Why not vote for who the members want to host the next one? Of course, it's been first come first serve the last three times, only because nobody else spoke up at the same time...but I think it would only be fair this way instead of ONE person choosing who hosts the next contest...why not ask the members who they want? Anyone else agree or am I alone on this one?

I don't mind at all. it's only a contest and there will be another and another lol'

if Danny badly wants it, i don't mind any bit!

The only reason I expressed so much interest is because I'll be off university for a month, which will fall around the time this contest finishes. So I'd actually have time to dedicate to it! (:

Lol no problem , you got it then. XD

Wow, that's really sweet of you, Nana.
Right so we've got the next 2 contests lined up. Talk about initiative!

Aren't we getting all prepared before hand and stuff. Already the next two contest are in proper hands and most likely being prepared as we speak. But, of course, let us not forget we have one going on right now! :D Can't wait to see the results, SEE, that right there proves my point. I don't know what patience is. :P

P.S. Any takers for the third contest? XD

Just finished reading over the poems, a lot of talent I must say. It would be too hard to pick just one that I like the most.

Bring on the next challenges, I finally have some time off Uni and I'm looking forward to getting back into writing and learning a thing or two.

Keep up the great work guys!

Obviously not Jad, go for it ;) :P

Round one results are in! I apologize ahead of time for any gibberish or spelling mistakes anywhere in this post; I think I have caught most of them.

We had something new happen this time, a TIE for first place! Wonderful job to the both of you. The rest of the results are posted below, for the most part the voting was rather close - only a few points separated most poems. "Taken" was awarded the three bonus points for being the first poem submitted. Following the points for each poem are the judges' comments. If there are no comments after a poem, the poet of the poem has requested their poem to not be publicly analyzed. The last four poems have been eliminated. Thank you everyone who has made this contest a success thus far and thank you to those who have been eliminated for giving it a try. Round 2 will be posted shortly!

39 points (14+10+15):
Twin

"Nature lovers will flock to this, shows a true beauty of mother Nature and her creatures. Creative way of uniting love and peace together. Almost makes you feel as if you're standing in the mud, breathing is the oak and sticky moss. The writer clearly shows talent within their wording and descriptions - added a bit of uniqueness to the contest.

"The first stanza didn't say much to me as it's merely a description of the surroundings. A bit pompous. What attracted me more to this poem was the following stanzas, as they had more depth while being simplistic. Although, I found the second simile to be strange, as how can such be "seen"? Yes it sounds beautiful, but does it make sense? But that's only a second flaw. For the rest: this poem has an admirable freshness."

"I was wonderfully captured by the imagery in the first three stanzas, well structured and great flow. The change of direction of the last stanza took me by surprise, but the more I read this poem the more I appreciated how good it was. Kudos to the poet.."

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39 points (15+15+9):
A New Kind

"The best within the first round - full of strong descriptions and brilliant wording - almost like watching a movie. Something ragged, rough, yet vulnerable here and really showing their truth and wisdom. A ton of creativity and solidarity, something uneasy yet confident behind the words written. Poetically beautiful and emotionally captivating - really catches your eye in all aspects."

"I immediately fell in love with this poem once I read it. It's the nonchalance of the events put together that superficially draws the reader in, yet the same nonchalance that hits the reader at a deeper level. The beauty of this all is its subtleness. There's a delicate change in tone which I appreciate. As if
gradually creeping into the persona's skin; as if reader and persona undergo synchronous emotional change."

"There is much to be liked about this piece, but I was distracted by the structure and line breaks. Although I got the gist of the poem the ending was a little confusing"

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38 points (12+12+14):
Litter

"This, paired with A New Kind, are the only poems about one specific person that kept a strong theme throughout. The first stanza makes you feel bad for this person, makes him seem a man, and the second stanza make it seem as though he truly is litter. The writer held a great and unique idea, both touching and sad. Full of depth and promise, makes you really think about those you pass judgment on. Watch for spelling mistakes/typos."

"I felt too pushed into the situation of this persona, it felt unnatural to read further and trying to understand the persona. Like watching a painting that doesn't quite draw you into the original era. Probably because the voice is of a storyteller, not the man himself. But once I got through the ambiance of an outsider, I found myself appreciating "the little things" of this poem. Bilbao, leftover chips, doorstep. The second stanza seems to be more evocative. Some may dislike the amount of adjectives, but here I found them to be powerful. Because they actually add something important (not just glamorizing the persona)."

"One of my favourites, I loved this piece and the story it took me on, it left me hoping for more. A mature, well structured poem. Well done."

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36 points (13+11+12):
Imperative Death

"Seemingly very passionate, this writer truly pulled at all creative strings. With subtle wording but strong meaning and easy punctuation without over doing it, they pulled off a remarkable piece. From the beginning stanza it pulls you in and makes you want to read more, drenched in sadness and hope, and a realization that most can relate to. Had a few very strong poetic verses that struck out and made this piece shine."

"At first I felt death was too robotically described, due to the dull adjectives of the first stanza. Not to mention the verb "inscribed". Then came the more elegant phrases, such as "reflections of the raven's wings" that appeared more gloomy and thus emotionally truthful. Then came some "complicated" words which evoked some doubts again. But reading on, it seems that the writer has a great balance qua diction. Sadly, there's something about the ending that doesn't sit right; a bit weak. Especially putting the words "awaken" and "resurrecting" together while they lean towards the same thought."

"A sombre piece which took awhile for me to immerse myself in, but once there I found myself captivated by this well worded poem"

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33 points (8+14+11):
Adolescence

"There are bits of creativity splashed along, with a few places of confusion. It seems like this poem could be two different poems, that the writer wasn't 100% where they were going. That being said, it does go hand in hand with the idea of adolescence, growing up, being confused, hormones jumping and racing like crazy. I assumed it was intentional and that it was made me like this piece. A spelling mistake here and there and weird usage of punctuation needs to be watched for if this writer makes it to the next round."

"The first stanza is simply magical. There's a contrast of reality and some dreaminess in here that seems to sum up the whole mood of the poem. Cigarette smoke, the lungs and fire being the concrete and realistic side of the persona's thoughts. Then there's magic and purity which are rather fluffy words. It's a great introduction to the confessions yet to come. But I felt the third stanza was a bit out of place, even though the title had already introduced these words. It doesn't have quite the same atmosphere as the previous stanzas. Then the last stanza hits me again, beautifully referring to the first stanza."

"A well worded poem with good imagery, though I found the ambiguity a little distracting be it planed or otherwise, but still deserving to be in the top half"

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33 points (10+13+10):
Gypsy Soup

"I can honestly say I have no idea what this poem is truly about, but my interpretation is a loving homey feel. Refreshing read, very creative and unique and definitely different. It's catchy and definitely entertaining to read aloud, it feels as though I am reading to a child. I can picture whacky illustrations next to it with a wee one in my lap."

"If someone is familiar with Realism, the paintings of the industrial revolution and the kind, where they claim that even normal people deserve to be painted, then they will understand why I love this poem so much. This poem has the same effect, simply stating what there is before the eyes to grasp. Yet not cliche, not boring. Difference here: there's a bit of humour added. And that's only a pluspoint. Though the snapshot expands a bit - following the wind, to the mountains - it peacefully returns to the suppers, going 'round, like some routine. Like normal people do. Somehow also ironic."

"I found this poem very easy to relate to, I could smell and taste the soup, I found myself carried along to the very abrupt ending, to abrupt for me, it spoilt it a little, I would have loved more and i'm sure it would have scored higher..."

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27 points (9+5+13):
My Writings

"This writer took a risk with writing about writing - something done in the last contest and something done by most people who aren't sure what to write, it seems the topic to fall back on when trying to gather inspiration. That being said, it was beautiful. The writer took a creative spin on writing and you can feel the sadness behind it. It seems as though the writer has so much more he or she wants to say, but has to hold back because the feel there is no purpose. Definitely something all of us here can relate to at one point."

"The poem says a lot but doesn't show much. It tells us about sadness but I can't feel the sadness. A bit monotone and I have read much of it before. Maybe it's the cliched words, such as "emotions", "joy" and "sadness". The potential is there but still doesn't manage to pull the reader in."

"Precise imagery and wording great flow and resonance, one of my favourites in this contest"

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20 points (7+8+5):
Change

"This poem has a great idea behind it but I don't feel it was executed properly. Some of the lines were so confusing and I had to reread this piece multiple times in order to understand specific pieces. There were a couple lines broken in the middle that did not make sense when paired together, seemed a little messy. I like what the writer was trying to say and the feeling behind it, but feel they were rushing while writing this piece. The writer shows bursts of creativity, but again it's the execution."

"The first stanza that's meant to indicate change didn't do much to me. "deception laced with betrayal" is says the same thing (twice) and doesn't fit to be compared with love songs. One would've expected something about songs again, but then more negative. It doesn't quite have a connection. Except that one is positive and the other negative. Still, it doesn't work. The following lines are a bit hit and miss. It jumps from one imagine to the other. Unique, but not consistent. Haphazard change in tone as well."

"I read this several times but still found the structure and flow hard to follow, a couple of grammatical errors didn't help. The potential was there with the first stanza but unfortunately didn't follow through"

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19 points (6+7+6):
Escape

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17 points (4+9+4):
Fate; In The Form Of A Man

"At first impression, it was a very difficult read. The writer seemed to drag on with their idea and I do not feel it was strong enough to keep a reader interested long enough to be held throughout the entire piece. If edited and shortened up I feel it could be very powerful. The structure seemed a bit messy. The writer does show to have a lot of emotion and wisdom they put throughout the poem, and it almost reads as more of a life lesson than anything else; a speech. Some pieces were incredibly strong and I truly liked a good chunk of it, but it seemed to ramble and ended up being hard for me to follow."

"There's some unneeded adjectives. Seemingly for the sake of aesthetic. For example: "dim sighing moments". It doesn't quite make sense. There's also some attempts at successful repetition. Sometimes it worked, when used along the same stanza. But repeating bits of the beginning as an ending have only left me confused. I felt the writer just rambled on while losing their point. The poem has a nice concept, but some careful changes may help."

"The longest poem by far and one of the hardest for me to get my head around. I was a little lost with the use of singular and plural and the over use of metaphors and where this poem was taking me. Though a lot of thought has gone into this work and kudos for that, I didn't take anything away."

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15 points (11+3+1):
Picturesque Windows

"My one complaint was the title was used in the poem - the title was catching and within the poem didn't exactly make it a strong ending. A very sad piece in which the writer definitely connects with the reader, and something a lot of people can relate to - whether death be real or metaphorical. Riddled with emotion it's a hard piece to overlook. The beginning stanza really brings you in and locks you."

"Not fond of the word "picturesque"; just some expensive word for "beautiful". It's a cliched word that doesn't add much to a poem, unless used ironically. The biggest part of this poem didn't do much to me as it reminded me of some teenage-angst-poem of which there are hundreds submitted everyday. Though I must say that the very last two lines were enjoyable."

"There is very little between many of these poems and the difference for me between a 1 and a 5 or higher is minimal to say the least. Though a disquieting topic this poem was more akin to reading an article I feel the basics are there they just need to be refined to make this a good poem.."

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14 points (2+4+8):
Pure Truth

"I felt the rhyme here was overdone and again typical. Some of the rhymes seemed forced and took away from the beauty of this poem. I liked the meaning and what the writer was trying to say, but I don't feel their words were as strong as the other poems here, and it felt as though it lacked a lot of creativity."

"This poem has a lovely flow with somewhat simplsitic rhyme (but humorous). Its content has some unique mix (love and society), but the wording doesn't show such."

"Written almost as a limerick though I found the rhyme a little stilted, though it mostly fell off the tongue it lacked any real depth"

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13 points (5+6+2):
Waiting

"This was a hard piece for me to swallow, the writer clearly has a lot to say but shortens it so much that it becomes a bit confusing. I almost felt as though I was sitting in a coffee shop watching someone read a poem with weird drums sounding off in the background. Read a bit over dramatic to me. Wasn't the worst of the poems submitted and think with a bit of editing it could be quite good."

"The poem may seem a bit lazy because it's more like a brief description of some nouns. But there's this natural tone that reminds me of some sober yet almost-drunken person that mourns. A sort of melancholy. Short, to the point."

"Although this poem flowed it didn't grab me or take me on any real journey of any sort lacking any real imagery"

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11 points (3+2+3+3BP):
Taken

"Clever and witty, but a tad over done. The rhymes were typical and really I did not feel something new was brought to the piece. The way it read was almost like a children's poem, but the words did not follow the same tune. The message within the words was smart and very sad, but I feel the typical rhyme really took away from the poem."

"It's a twist on the fairytale-metaphor, it seems, which is nice. Then came the words "forever and a day" and "tomorrow", used in a way that I just got tired of it. It's a nice concept but all could use some work."

"A simple message that with a little more work may well have scored higher, I fell over the rhyme scheme a little and for me lacked any real depth"

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9 points (1+1+7):
Deaf. (The Florette)

"Very risky doing a form and I don't feel it paid off. The rhymes seemed very forced and a few lines did not seem to fit for any reason but writing a form. The poem itself was seemingly morbid and definitely something that is selective to members liking. It was sad and I understood the pain behind it, but I think the theme may have been over done. Definitely not something you see in a contest unless something dark is called for."

"Way too robotic, both the descriptions and rhythm. Making use of this form wasn't very successful, especially the attempt at internal rhyme. The flow suffered in every stanza's last line."

"Showed promise but fell away a little, the rhyme was a little forced which interrupted the flow and the ending"

Great job everyone, I am impressed with all the hard work and congrats to the two first place finishers. All of the participants did a wonderful job and I am impressed as always with the great job the judges have done in there commenting. Gives me an idea of how they judged the poems. Great job everyone. Lastly, let me not forget to thank Temps, for hosting this wonderful contest which has just begun.

I think the judges are pretty fair...I love what's going on over here.

Great commenting! Three of of the top five were my favourites as well.

What an interesting 1st round, some really good poetry. I think the judges correctly chose Twin as top poem, as I really enjoyed the beautiful imagery. A New Kind, to me, sounded like a rendition of Journey's Don't Stop Believin, I did like it but would not have placed it quite as high. Gypsy Soup, I could relate to and it felt warm in my belly! Taken, I liked for its message.
Fate; In The Form Of Man, I really liked for its Philosophical point of view, it does need a little tweaking. Great efforts by all. Waiting now on the 2nd round, Good Luck and Good Writing.

What Jad said ;)

Glad to see Twin came first! Good luck and good job, everyone.

I didn't catch the Journey-ness about A New Kind until now, but that completely changes the tone for me. It went from rugged and raw to 80s corny and cliche. No offense.
If the "of wine and cheap perfume," were tweaked, you might avoid the 80s-ness all together!

Oh boy.

Thanks, Jane. :]

Congrats to the 2 top winners of round one.

Host / poets / judges ... awesome job to all !
I really enjoyed each and every read.

The standard of this contest is indeed high, making this very close. I love the judges' comments. I found myself agreeing with much of what was said, especially with the second judge here. The top three listed poems are placed exactly as I would have them.

Well done, well done, me hearties! The next round's on me.

Good work everyone :)