THE ULTIMATE BATTLE OF POETS: ROUND 2

Hear, hear.

I LOVE "Waterfall"..and OMG the sonnet was just absolutely deep

"Ere long, several of the whales were wounded ; when, suddenly, a very powerful whale escaping from the boats, issued from the shoal, and bore directly down upon the ship, dashing his forehead against her hull, he so stove her in, that in ten minutes she settled down and fell over."
Hermin Melville.

I liked the Sonnet, needs a new title
A Salute to Sex, for its authenticity
In Memory, I can relate

I liked Wolf (Etheree Thingy)

Eyes
stare out
of darkness
piercing nighttime
howls, a warnings made;
no man should walk this way.
Grate the woodland canvas now
claws shredded into old parchment.
Teeth were concrete stone, yellowed by age,
fur matted, blotched, painted; Defender.
He will gaurd us all; those weak and those strong.
Mocked Moons will quiver, old Stars will shake, when defending his kingdoms home.
To no one else but our kind
No man should walk alone,
snarling and piercing;
Most brightess sons,
are no match
for lone
Wolf.

I have been gone for two days but look at all of these wonderful poems. I loved the many forms that all you used. I can't wait to see the results from this one. Congratulations to all of you who got their poems in and to the two who didn't....SHAME on you! Anyway good job to all of you. :]

Edward and Jad, are you both part of the same pacK? Who's the alpha male? Should I change my avatar to a wolf, too? : )

Not sure if we are in the same pack but in mine I am alpha male! XD Anyway, if you were a wolf then their would be another female o.0

Results are almost in I dare say!

I sure hope so!

The results are in! With 29 points, "A Salute to Sex" was the winner for this round - congratulations! Each poem is listed with the number of points received and then broken down in parenthesis. Bonus points and penalty points, if any, are listed after all the points in the parenthesis. BP represents bonus points, and PP represents penalty points. The bottom three poems have been eliminated, thank you for participating! That leaves 6 participants remaining. Round 3 will be coming your way shortly!

29 points (8+9+9+3BP):
A Salute to Sex (Ode)

"I loved this poem from start to finish in fact I didn't want it to finish. Its raw, creative and heartfelt. The progression from the two cells to the profession of love was seamless, and although this form of poetry is not as structured as some of the others, still deserving of my number one pick. Salute!"

""At first, I felt the first and fourth stanza were a bit out of place, compared to the ones which described animals. When I read it again, I vaguely traced some hint at evolution. The imagery zooms in and out and in. First the cells, then the world, even flowers, then individuals. Even a personal touch. And the personification stays ever effective. The details are so fascinating and passionately shown that one forgets about the different themes. It's as if
everything is tied together due to one resemblance: sex. Yet not in a disgusting manner. Sometimes it's even innocent. The cells "touched" rather than being wild beasts, and even the animals aren't stereotypical beasts. This piece is definitely divinely written."

"This is exactly the type of poetry about sex that is not distasteful, trashy nor disgusting. It brought realms of every side, from the science of a life created, to the twist of two bodies with promises shared, to the animals in wildlife and their differences. It was almost educational in a sense, and it did not feel overly sensual that would make it explicit. I love the choice of words and the way the writer broke the lines apart without taking away from the point of the poem. There is an odd sense of emotion without the sense of craving sex. When I first read the title and saw it was a sonnet, I was expecting a sarcastic or cheesy piece, or something overly sensual that would fit oddly within the contest, but I was pleasantly surprised. The writer has brought a touch of romanticism to the different aspects of sex that you don't usually think about. It was creative and unique, definitely one of my favorites."

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25 points (7+8+7+3BP):
The Conundrum of Ambiguity (Acrostic)

"I love the title of this poem which is well thought out and fits the poem perfectly. A very well structured well worded poem and a joy to read, that concludes with a great ending, even if I did have to reach for the dictionary"

"Great scenery, somewhat medieval. It reminds me of burning witches. After reading the opening stanza, you'd think this another poem about time. But time has a twisted purpose here: a tensional way of setting the scene ... and ending it. For the axe seems to be swinging in slow-motion: the reader is able to witness the last details in full glory.
Enjambment seems slightly forced, but since it creates a fearsome cadence, I didn't mind. Along with the precise diction and influential (yet subtle) repetition: a most precious write."

"I have to seriously applaud the writer of this poem, as I did not realize it was an acrostic until I read the title. This acrostic was done perfectly in my opinion - the punctuation added volumes and did not take away, and the writer did not do what most usually do. It's risky to break lines in the middle of an acrostic to try and make it fit with the next word, usually it doesn't work...but here I think it was perfect. It's riddled with different vocabulary than something you traditionally see, and the idea behind the poem is unique not only to the contest, but I think to the site. Definitely interesting and I think it was an intriguing read. So hard to point out what you like when you like everything!"

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20 points (9+7+4):
The world passes by those who fail to begin only for fear of an ending (Sonnet)

"A long title for a poem which became apt the more times I read it. At first this poem didn't grab me, maybe I was more concerned with the form but the more times I read it the more I appreciated it. Im not great with Iambic pentameter which I think was a little off but the rhyme was true to form"

"The title is a bit long, I felt this could be summarized. Maybe with some
reference to the seasons, for I didn't think this title was attractive, although wise. It's more like a quote.
Some sentences are clumsily phrased (strange tenses to fit iambic pentameter?), and the excessive use of we's annoy me. But there's a sense of realness in this poem, mixed with rather innocent imagery, that's praise-worthy. The first line definitely drew me in."

"The one and only complaint I have about this poem is the long title. It was a bit confusing and tripped me up a couple times - the poem itself was beautiful and concise, so it did not seem to completely fit. The rhymes were simple but not cliche nor forced, and the lines seemed to fit perfectly within one another. The poem had simple vocabulary laced with a few words not in everyday language, and I think that really added to the piece. Sometimes people get too worried about sounding intellectual rather than just piecing things together correctly. There was a certain beauty painted within the poem and the writer did a great job at conveying emotion with proper imagery without taking away from anything. Some people write sonnets only of love, and the fact this is not your average romantic poem speaks volumes."

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19 points (5+5+6+3BP):
Starved Love - Journey of the Mind (Sestina)

"Congrats to the poet. Upon first reading of the rules for this style of ordered poetry I must admit to being slightly daunted and lost. You have done a great job here well done! Though I found a couple of lines a little cliche but overall it was true to form and a good read."

"The first three stanzas weren't a problem, the repetition goes unforced. But reading on, I felt like the syntax was inverted to befit the form. Two lines were truly ruined by this:
- "Thoughtlessly upon clouds I trace these four letters ... l-o-v-e"
[We all know what letters you're referring to, no need to spell them for us. It also disrupts the flow. Unfortunate, because the idea of the clouds is nice.]
- "only to be disappointed as they slowly drift away, laced with sorrow."
[This could do without the last part, 'tis overly dramatic. And the word "laced" is standard flowery.]
The things I did like about this poem, were its honesty, the new way of referring to fairytales and the clever way of repeating "waves". Although even those things turned out somewhat flawed due to the unbefitting use of punctuation."

"Again I must applaud the writer of the Sestina - this is definitely a difficult form and for those who have never written one nor tried to figure out if this one was done correctly for the bonus points, it's not as easy as this writer made it look. To have to fit the last word all throughout the poem is definitely tricky, but this writer did such an amazing job. It did not seem forced to me at all, and it was easy to not even notice the repetition. The idea and theme of this poem, I do believe was 100% perfect to the form. Something that is sometimes done, but this has a unique twist and no cliche feel. I think all young girls (and kids) can relate to the fairytale feel, as it seems like this was written for a Disney movie. The only issue I had with this poem were some grammar mistakes, and some of the punctuation seemed a little off. Definitely a hard poem to place in the middle of the contest, but I feel this writer will easily go onto the next round."

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14 points (1+4+8+1BP):
In Memory (Senryu)

"The note: gives obvious meaning to this piece, and its hard not to be touched by it. Having said that the 17 syllables convey the meaning exceedingly well and on this and being true to form, it must be score highly"

"Not sure whether this is intended, but the three friends versus two years evoke such simple negativity, exactly what a senryu is about! The second line is nice, although I've heard about it before (Staircase to heaven is a song). Not sure about the last line. It's a pity to sum things up that have been mentioned before (three friends) in such a short poem. But it adds a personal touch that may touch many readers."

"The fact that the note had to be placed with the piece and it was far longer than the poem, I feel disrupts the entire purpose of writing the piece. It was sad and I understand it's definitely a hard thing to go through having lost friends of my own, but I feel it was almost sloppy and thrown together for the sake of getting something into the contest."

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12 points (6+3+2+1BP):
Waterfall (Cascade)

"The constraints of this type of poetry showed here as this poem didn't quite get there, it didn't flow as a waterfall should. I liked the first stanza but the second "pulled down" didn't quite fit and disrupted the imagery as did the "but" in the last. The obvious spelling mistake should not have been overlooked either."

"At first glance: not the most original theme. Even Shadowpoetry's explanation of a Cascade includes the comparison to a waterfall. There's also something about the use of "beauty" in the second stanza. It's already used in a line that's even repeated, so I didn't like to read it here. Plus it doesn't add much anyway, we know that the waterfall contains beauty.
Then I read the last stanza, figured 'twas all about a real picture. When I read "entrancing the serene portrait", I took it figuratively, not as a literal portrait. I liked the contrast of the moving imagery, moving structure, yet an unmoving ending."

"The cascade is definitely a form that can be done terribly, or brilliantly, and I think this is the latter. The piece had such a serene and beautiful image created, and when really delving into the poem you almost don't notice the repetition. The repeating lines were selected perfectly, and that can sometimes be hard in formed poetry, you seem like you're just sticking a line where you have to rather than make it fit - but here it looked like the line was specific for the stanza, and it worked very well. I like the soft use of punctuation, but there was a spelling mistake (mistafying was spelled wrong), and the way the beginning of the third stanza was not capitalized kind of threw me off. When doing a form with strong structure, I think consistency is important."

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12 points (2+6+5-1PP):
Wolf (Double Etheree)

"Great imagery in this salute to the wolf with some wonderful lines "Grate the woodland canvas now" vibrant and descriptive. A minor muck up with your syllable count on lines 5 and 16 means I couldn't mark this higher than I would have liked..."

"Mixed feelings about this.
The poems begins with the most manipulative part of the face (the eyes), which I found clever, for it is a horrifying introduction -- the way a wolf is often portrayed. However, I think "stare out of darkness" is unnecessarily detailed, since "pierce the nightime" says the same and is actually a much stronger phrase.
My favourite part of this poem was its centre. Nice similes. Notice the second similes' relation to the "woodland canvas".
However, the centre lacks the smooth transition between the horrifying wolf and the guardian wolf. "defender" just popped up. There's still this ominous air, but it doesn't quite blend with the guardian image. The form (jagged lines) has build up a natural tension; the previous descriptions enforce this. There's too much tension to create a slight sense of safety (guardian: a bit idealistic and heroic). It clashes."

"Again I must stress, if you are going to do a form for a contest with syllables, you MUST check your syllables over and over again, as this was also done incorrectly. I'm not a fan overall of this poem, and I don'tfeel it really did anything. It was just describing a wolf and the typical things about it. The poem really didn't bring anything new to the contest, and I feel the other poems rated much higher. This was just your average poem under a form, and I think something important with an etheree is the structure. If it does not look very structured it usually is not simple to read, it will always lack flow, and I think this is definitely the case - it lacks flow. The punctuation seemed tossed in to try and force the syllables. Overall I just was not a fan of this piece."

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11 points (4+2+3+2BP):
The quiet sky was crying (Monody)

"I enjoyed reading this, yet I felt the emotion was just waiting to burst through but couldn't quite get there. Some lovely lines "When my naked soul does rave" being a standout for me."

"Some parts of this remind me of necrophilia. There are some delicious sinister lines in here. It shows how sorrow can be the essence of an obsession. But that's it, as I felt a bit emotionless while reading the quite standard "sadder parts". I was also bothered by the many "dids" and "does's"

"The emotion behind the poem was unbelievable...it was touching and so sad - anyone who has lost someone can definitely relate and/or be moved by this poem. As the monody does not have strict form, it was an easy one to write, a dedication to death or someone who has died. The rhyme was confusing and all over the place, there were some rhymes that seemed forced, and some that didn't even rhyme at all. That took away tremendously from the poem, and I think this could have scored much higher if there was no rhyme scheme at all. The periods and other punctuation I feel were placed in odd spots, and it broke the lines up when they could have went together much more effectively with a different piece. This did have strong emotion, however, and that is something that you definitely must have when writing a Monody."

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4 points (3+1+1-1PP):
Sounds of Solitude (Double Tanka)

"The syllable count is wrong in both stanzas; this alone spoils it for me. I must also admit to getting a little lost reading this and to where it was taking me."

"I can see the relation between the first and second part of this poem, but the contrast is only qua notion. Many words refer to the same thing, only consuming syllable-space (of which you initially don't have much). It's a bit boring to read and isn't very thought-provoking."

"If this poem were not under a form, I think it would have scored very highly. I think it was beautifully written (form ruled out) and really had a lot of emotion...definitely a piece that everyone can easily relate to as we all have moments of loneliness. I love the wind being incorporated and really felt it added to the poem. However, the form was done incorrectly, the syllables were way off on a lot of the lines, and as this is a formed round, it had to be placed lower on the list. Every writer, when doing a syllable strict form, you must, must, must double-triple-quadruple check your syllables before submitting them as it's the most important thing to the poem."

So I'm lurking again, what?

It's so fun to see the scores, and the disparities of scores within a single poem. The different tastes of the judges are certainly coming through.

Keep it up, yokels!

Good stuff - I agree with all of the placements.

Excellent round, CD!

There are a couple of mathematical errors in scoring, however (sorry about my nerdy OCD here!). The main one is that there is no "bottom three" to eliminate. There is a bottom two or a bottom four. Tiebreaker? Both out? Both in?

The price of penalty was already paid. The other poem got a free point on top. In fact, looking at the judges' raw scores, the Wolf scored two points higher. But I feel that the total points should matter if there is an elimination happening.

Congrats to the winner of this round.

Amazing job everyone did on this round *claps*
Loved each and every write.

Awesome job the judges have done also.
Temps deserves a few claps too.
Gosh you guys have such creative minds!

How is it wrong Abby?

I understand now. Sorry for my mistake everyone, the bottom FOUR will have to be eliminated then.

Amazing! I really liked all the poems in this round and I am glad to see we have a wide range of judges here. All the poems were brilliant and I loved each and every one of them. Hard descision but these judges know what they are doing. Thank you to Temps as well for hosting this amazing contest. Congrats to participants and all alike. :]

Woops! Sorry to the fourth poem listed from the bottom!

In the previous contest, I was faced with a tie in the Wildcard round and I had to consult two outside judges to determine the winner. But for elimination, I suppose it's not necessary as the bottom scorers have to leave.

So there are only 5 poets remaining and two rounds left. This is a very tight contest.