Is it okay???

I have plenty of close friends who i truly love and care about so much, but there are times where i just dont like them. i get jealous because they have someone to hold and someone who loves them and i wish i had that too.. is it okay to feel jealous of them.. and i sometimes wonder if i am the only one who feels this way... (sigh)

You know, as much as people say it's wrong to be jealous and it's bad to covet and have strong emotions about things... it's really not. Everyone feels jealous of other people at some point, everyone sees something good in someone else that they don't have and wants it. It's natural. Why do you think we have such an obsession with movie stars?
I know it's annoying, but you can't stop these emotions. You can, however, recognize that you aren't alone in your frustration. I bet you have friends who are just as jealous of you and what you have. The best advice I can offer is to give yourself a break and focus on the good things you have. You don't have to like your friends all the time, but don't let a little jealousy get in the way of your friendships. Things will get better.

I don't think it is bad...I know how you feel...You feel left out and it is ok to feel that way but you should separate your friendship from them being in relationships...I don't know if you know what I mean I'm sorry if I wrote it hard to understand.

^ Envy and jealousy are 2 different things...
I think it's ok to be jealous, but don't let it go too far... try comparing yourself with yourself. Eventually what works for them may not work for you.

Well for i am more the they of person that loves my friends. but most of them always tell me "i have the best boyfriend because he buys me flowers, i get to spend time with him and cuddle with etc." and those are the thing i get jealous about because i wish i had those things too. i sometimes would like to tell them not to tell me everything by detail cause it makes me want it more and thats why i try to find love in any guy because i want to have something special. but how can i tell my friends not to tell me all those good things in a ways it wont sound me not caring or me sounding like i am jealous.

Try changing subject... or just tell them you feel jealous, I'm sure they'd understand.
Try to distract yourself from thinking about it with jealousy, think about things you have and they don't. Be thankful for what you have, use it and show it off. Compare yourself with yourself. In the end you only know what they tell you, you don't know what happens behind closed doors. They may have problems, no relationship is free of problems, I'm sure you know that from experience. Be patient, you'll eventually find the person who cares for you.

Don't know if you're still looking for advise or not but here it goes.

"Well for i am more the they of person that loves my friends. but most of them always tell me "i have the best boyfriend because he buys me flowers, i get to spend time with him and cuddle with etc." and those are the thing i get jealous about because i wish i had those things too. i sometimes would like to tell them not to tell me everything by detail cause it makes me want it more and thats why i try to find love in any guy because i want to have something special. but how can i tell my friends not to tell me all those good things in a ways it wont sound me not caring or me sounding like i am jealous."

^ You're asking friends to hide their feelings because of the way they make you feel... That's not right in my opinion. A friend would be happy for their friends and happy that they're happy. I'm sure they don't purposefully talk to you about their boyfriends because they want to make you jealous or otherwise feel bad or know it does. Likely, your friends probably talk to you about their boyfriend or relationships because their happy, they've found someone that they care about deeply, their in love or whatever the case may be and because you are their friend they feel they can trust you enough to share it with you and that you will be supportive of them and happy for them. You shouldn't be jealous of your friends, you should be happy for them that they are happy.

If I may be honest here, it sounds to me like you feel you need a boyfriend or need to be in some form of relationship to validate who you are. That scares me. If you were more of a secure person in yourself, who you are, you wouldn't be jealous of your friends or feel you need to be with someone or in a relationship. Would you agree that you're not the most confident (secure) person in yourself? I'm not trying to be mean or say you're a bad friend, I'm just being honest, trying to look at things from different perspectives and get you to do the same so you can help yourself. Many people at some point in their life have been insecure, not confident in themselves or otherwise have low self-esteem. But you won't always feel that way, not if you work on it. You're not alone. I have for sure, both, been insecure inmyself and felt envious of others. One of my friends just started her first year of university and she's doing extremely well for herself. She's making new friends, studies a lot, is enjoying herself and doing something she loves. Another one of my friends has an amazing career profolio, is doing something that she loves. Not to mention they are both gorgeous. I won't lie, I envy them. However, I don't let that turn to jealousy or come between our friendships. I am more so happy for them and proud of them at how far they've come, how successful they are and that they're happy with themselves, what they're doing and in life. I know they're going to go to amazing places, meet amazing people and do amazing things. I fully support them. They in-turn inspire me to do the same.

I agree with the first post, except the use of the word jealous and natural and that they're used in the same sentence. I wouldn't go as far as to say it's "natural", common seems like a better word. Everyone feels envious of other people in some way some times. That doesn't mean that it's a bad thing or that you're a bad person, not at all. I think that envy has gotten a bad rap. Envy, rather than being a "deadly sin", can actually be a force for good. That is, if you know how to, emotionally, deal with it and how to utilize it.

First thing to remember, in my opinion, don't let your envy turn into jealousy. Jealousy always works in the opposite way you want it to. Second, don't let it consume you and otherwise destroy your friendship (or any other relationships) with that other person or people.

Feelings of envy can arise when you are at some kind of turning point in your life, when there's an aspect of your life you've outgrown or when you aren't being true to yourself, whether you realize it at that time or not. Envy can be a powerful motivating tool, if you know how to use it. It can help you to focus in on your goals in life and give you a kick in the butt to go after them. First you have to read the message, force yourself to pinpoint exactly what you're coveting. But be realistic about it. Next, break that down and what you're feeling by asking yourself a series of questions to help you to figure out what is the trigger of your envy. Go through each possibility until one hits a nerve. Be honest. For example, you might wish you had a boyfriend like your friends when you really just want to spend more time with your friends. So , leave your friends out of the equation. Don't compare yourself or your life to theirs (what they have you don't or what you have they don't), instead, compare yourself with yourself, as Dark Secret said. Look inward, not out. Don't look at anything negatively or at things you consider negative, such as that you don't have a boyfriend. Look at yourself and your life, see what you have going for you and focus on that instead of focusing on what you don't have. Also, focus on where you see yourself or something in your life or yourself you wish were different. For example: Instead of focusing on that they already have boyfriends, focus on what you want to do with your life, that you have the opportunity to date (not necessarily date as in relationships but just to go on dates) and meet new people (guys) as well as that this is an opportunity for you to do all the things you want to do for yourself. Once you've pin pointed the source of your envy and got your priorities, then follow them and they'll get you to the place you want to be. For example, if your friend got a successful job, don't be afraid to work her for information about how to score what she has. It may feel counter-intuitive to turn to the person you're resenting, but asking for advise helps. Sooner than later, you'll be the one inspiring envy. :)

To recap: Envy is not a bad thing nor does it make you a bad person, you can use it to your advantage. Don't be jealous of your friends, be happy for them. Be patient, don't go out in search for someone or a relationship, you'll eventually find the person who cares for you. I also advise you to check out some of the threads in the Love and Romance boards, such as: Finally Single!!! or So, how to even get a guy to like me?. There is advise there that I think you can really benefit from.

Okay.. i completely understand what you are saying.. but ii am not saying that i hate my friends because they have a boyfriends and i dont.. i love my friends and always will and i am not saying for my friends to hide their feeling because i understand that when someone is happy about something they want to share it to the whole wide world and i like being their for them just that sometimes i wish i had all the things they are going thru. i know i been there done that with everything they are going thru cause i had. had great boyfriends and i hve done the same thing sharing my all the great time i have spend with him to my friends. i dont hate my friends for telling me i just fell sad that i had that once and i no longer have it. i am a patient person and i am in no rush of rushing into a relationship. yes i may feel lonely and sad sometimes but, i am happy being single. cause i get to have my own time and discover the wonder of living life. and too sum everything up.. I AM HAPPY FOR MY FRIENDS CAUSE I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE GOING THRU AND ITS ONE OF THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD KNOWING YOU HAVE SOMEONE. BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT ONCE SOMEDAY I WILL HAVE THOSE FEELING AGAIN.

Awwww. yea i understand what your sayin and yes, i sometimes wish i could have a boyfriend but i am also happy being single and discovering many things about me i didnt know. not feeling depended on a guy. being free and having no guy drama is good. but tnxs for making me feel better..

I agree