2011 P&Q Idol [Lu's contest ] ROUND 3

I hope everyone has been enjoying the contest so far. Participants as well as audience.
And if not I'm sure I'll read about it in another main forum thread somewhere ... lol

Anywhooooooooooo it is about to get a little heated in here .....

8 REMAIN ... 5 will be eliminated this round and ONLY
3 will go on to the final round.

Round 3 ... THE FIREBALL ROUND

Below you will find a picture. You have 2 options.

Choose option 1 for a chance to gain a maximum of +2BP's
or pass up option 1 and go for option 2 (minimum of 4BP to collect)

Q: What is option 2 ?

A: Option 2 is the "fireball" It may be your key to the next round with a chance to collect many BP's ... or
it may be too hot for you to handle. And you may crash and burn !!!
OR ... It may be a trick and easy as pie.

Mubawahaha the choice is yours !!!

-------------------------------------------------
Option 1 ...
Take the picture and write a poem about the picture.
http://mysticalavalon.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/sw_moon_head1.jpg

MUST BE
-------

- Under 100 words (Title words do NOT COUNT)

- MUST contain the words (sorrow, soul, echo, breeze, empty)

- Mystery BP's (I have a title in mind. Title yours the same as the one I have in mind and win +2BP.
So think hard !

I will be sending the mystery word to one of the judges ... and they will reveal it at the end.

--------------------------------------------------

Option 2 ...
The fireball

- Choose this option by PM and you will be sent a mystery package.

--------------------------------------------------

Rules :
Poems due Wednesday at 6 PM (my time)
NO poems submitted after that time will qualify.

There will be NO 6 hour edit period this round.
Poems will be submitted to the judges at 6:05 PM sharp

PLEASE remember ... do not post your poems to your account. It reveals who you are.

I know I edited it in the first round and some of you may not of seen it ... so please DO NOT post/share/ or reveal who you are or if you are still in the challenge.

Wooooooooooo..mystery, that sounds lovely!

I like following these side wide contests!

Good luck everyone!

Haha, looks like an intense round and I can't wait to see how many people chose this mystery option! XD

EHM...that would burn.

I guess you'll all just have to wait and see huh ... lol

I didn't want to post in here for fear I might make someone puke up a few exclamation marks, when I'd much prefer they eat them later instead ... lmaoo

The judges at the grand ole opry did not suck even though they looked over a lot of big names they praised Johnny Cash lmao

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmVAWKfJ4Go

Great contest so far, Lu.

Michael I have no clue as to what you are talking about.
Please explain

Thanks Jane

Well, it seems as though things are getting more intense.. If you can't stand the heat, stop writing poetry! or something like that..

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would affront your intelligence

It was just a joke Lu, like when the Grand Ole Opry told Elvis he would never sell records

I was just reminding everyone that these site contest are fun and winning plus about three bucks will get most you a cup of coffee at star bucks

*drumbeat*

Today is Wednesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are all the poems due today?! :]

Poems are due in 8 hours :)

Poems are being sent to the judges, top 3 will move on to the final round.

POEM 1

Mourn to Heal

Stirring full moons create
the perfect scene for mourning,
grief over loss of love and time
so natural to healing.

Full of sorrow,
a woman looks to spread her wings
beyond the presence of her soul,
saunters into the blue water
rippling softly against the white sand,
creating an image of relaxation
her kind of perfection,
hoping to never hear the echo of a promise
once whispered from her lovers' lips.

Empty wishes remain a memory,
realization sets in -
those cold, black eyes once trusted
relay nothing of truth
only a breeze of muttered pain,
creating inspiration
to move forward.

POEM 2

Harvest Moon

Full of mystery, fallacy
though there really was a man there
a sorrow filled soul hearing his own empty echo
nary a breeze to bring him thoughts of a woman
but she watched from afar

craters, like dimples upon a golf ball
their use, unknown
much like the vastness of its shape
yet it is soothing to the sane
and ignites the psychopath
or so it is said

does one really know
can it be discovered
what will it harvest
other than mystery, fallacy.

POEM 3

Queen of night

From the dark, placid lake, the queen of night emerges
with pallid skin, soft waving long hair, laced with silver
Satin blue dress, with the paleness of moon it merges
sensuality and mystery speaking from her figure, every single fiber

Her voice, a soft, longing echo carried on the breeze,
drenched in bitter sorrow, deep cravings from a lost soul
Empty arms stretched heavenwards, longing for her man still overseas,
needing his love, tender care and devotion to feel whole

A single white swan glides through the empty, eerie lake
black is the night, her lonely spirit it will break

POEM 4

Fragile

I glide along moonlit seas
beneath the swollen moon,
arched; limp with sorrow,

for love's departure
leaves me tongue-tied,
while I swallow it's remains
in muddled passion

alas clipping wings of faith
while I fade into a hushed psalm;
beauty bestowed yet strength
...gone.

POEM 5

Find Some Hope

I dreamt of sorrow by the moon
Shooting stars echo collapsing life
Drowning in the waters of my soul
Black swans guide me, turning white

New life, born of death
The deep indigo blue of night
No longer leaves me empty
It wraps me in warmth

A soft breeze lingers over my skin
An awakening of sensation
The tingling of anticipation
Hope bathing my healing mind

I dreamt of sorrow by the moon
Until I could not bear it anymore
Until every fiber of my being screamed for freedom
And the moon, once again, was beautiful

My spirit now sings...

POEM 6

A Lover's Midnight Mourn

You're the velvet hope that moves me, laced in white
while woven by ornate stitching, for any less won't do,
nuzzles me snug when dusk grows near, all is bright
yet a bypassed soul still beats veered, battered and blue.

For how can a heart cultivate wings, engulfed in sorrow
with those words subtly echo, clawed in the majestic sky
"an empty breeze shines no beauty on a frail tomorrow"
Yet the hope now laced in black, whispers they're nearby.

"I'll grab hold of the moon, my dear, celestially ideal."
You were the angelic spirit who instilled virtue to heal.

POEM 7

All That Blooms

All that I was
is tangled within my hair,
poppy seeds too watered to bloom
chewed my split ends
and pressured brown locks
to the shape of a pigs tale.

and I carried a rabbits paw
round my neck, with a troll
slumbered in my purse
whose blue hair would sit
neater then mine -

a reminder of why magic
would echo an empty moon
'cross my face and
mask me in sorrow,
a camouflage of who I am.

Like a clumsy ducking
I'd dream of black swans
tinted white -

my soul caressing
the tip of a paint brush,
painting a breeze on
artists hands that were
worn with broken heart lines.

All that I was
is tangled within my hair
and all that I am is now
perched on my lips.

Well, these are some really good poems. They have some good quality and I am susprised with what people chose. Anyway I can't wait to see what your judges think! :]

Yes you are right Jad some really terrific writing.

Here is the mystery option for those who decided to go with option 2

This is what they received

Take the picture and write a poem about the picture.
http://mysticalavalon.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/sw_moon_head1.jpg

- MUST be exactly 100 words (Title words do NOT count) +1BP

- MUST contain the words (sorrow, soul, echo, breeze, empty, white, blue, black) +1BP

- (2) ... 4 line stanzas (10 words per line) with an ending couplet (10 words per line) ... rhyme scheme abab cdcd ee +3BP

- Use a 3 word title (1 syllable words only) +1BP

Well, holy crap that is a lot of restrictions but the bonus points are incredible! :] I give props to those who manage to pull it off! :]

Amazing poems by everyone!

Looks like 2 people are risk takers haha

God forbid I ever even think about taking option two!

I know, I know Britt, I am evil *smiles*

Yap 6 of the above 7 chose option 2

Yes and I hope they all still love me ... in the morning ... lol

Hi Lu,

I noticed that you said 8 remained and only 7 poems were posted. Does that still mean 5 will be eliminated?

4 will be eliminated Mel and the top 3 will move on to the final round.

Thanks for answering Lu :)

Judges voted on a scale of 3.5 - 10.5
One judges was very ill this week and couldn't comment, I appreciate her taking the time to vote.

Thank you to all 3 judges this week.

POEM 1 (OPTION 2)
Mourn to Heal

Stirring full moons create
the perfect scene for mourning,
grief over loss of love and time
so natural to healing.

Full of sorrow,
a woman looks to spread her wings
beyond the presence of her soul,
saunters into the blue water
rippling softly against the white sand,
creating an image of relaxation
her kind of perfection,
hoping to never hear the echo of a promise
once whispered from her lovers' lips.

Empty wishes remain a memory,
realization sets in -
those cold, black eyes once trusted
relay nothing of truth
only a breeze of muttered pain,
creating inspiration
to move forward.

VOTES : 9 + 4 + 7 + 3BP
TOTAL POINTS = 23

COMMENT : Very nice write until the end.
This line... "creating an image of relaxation" was an awkward and redundant line it would serve the same purpose if it were omitted altogether. The end kind of just stops instead of leaving anything wishful or to ponder.

COMMENT : This poem felt a bit scattered. Sometimes there was a clear rhythm, sometimes there wasn't. The tone also slipped between relaxed/dreamy and sad, without much coherent connection. I would have liked to see more attention to the natural flow of storytelling. I did like the phrase "the perfect scene for mourning." It had a nice beat and some potential to sharpen the focus of the poem.

POEM 2 (OPTION 1)
Harvest Moon

Full of mystery, fallacy
though there really was a man there
a sorrow filled soul hearing his own empty echo
nary a breeze to bring him thoughts of a woman
but she watched from afar

craters, like dimples upon a golf ball
their use, unknown
much like the vastness of its shape
yet it is soothing to the sane
and ignites the psychopath
or so it is said

does one really know
can it be discovered
what will it harvest
other than mystery, fallacy.

VOTES : 10 + 6 + 6.5 + 0BP
TOTAL POINTS = 22.5

COMMENT : The moon is quite a unique thing as it is believed to hold such mystery as you state. The second stanza is absolutely wonderful and something to ponder. Beautiful write and only one suggestion. The ending line should end in a question mark.

COMMENT : This poem carried some nice images, like the craters of a golf ball, but they were left feeling unconnected from the poem as a whole. I did like the treatment of different themes and images that are often associated with the moon, but I'd have liked to see them linked more meaningfully.

POEM 3 (OPTION 2)
Queen of night

From the dark, placid lake, the queen of night emerges
with pallid skin, soft waving long hair, laced with silver
Satin blue dress, with the paleness of moon it merges
sensuality and mystery speaking from her figure, every single fiber

Her voice, a soft, longing echo carried on the breeze,
drenched in bitter sorrow, deep cravings from a lost soul
Empty arms stretched heavenwards, longing for her man still overseas,
needing his love, tender care and devotion to feel whole

A single white swan glides through the empty, eerie lake
black is the night, her lonely spirit it will break

VOTES : 8 + 5 + 8.5 + 6BP
TOTAL POINTS = 27.5

COMMENT : I absolutely loved the whole goddess feel that was felt in the beginning of the poem. I felt that the end didn't carry the same, it broke off the feel at this line...
"longing for her man still overseas,"

COMMENT : This poem was clear and consistent in its theme and layout. For that, I give it due credit, because there was no misty vagueness to wade through. The reason I didn't score it higher, however, was because the vocabulary used was so run-of-the-mill. I don't think phrases in poems need to be overly flowery or complicated (in fact, that often detracts) but these words are ones that I feel like I've seen dozens of times, in nearly if not exactly the same way. In summary, this poem was well executed but lacking, I felt, in originality.

POEM 4 (OPTION 2)
Fragile

I glide along moonlit seas
beneath the swollen moon,
arched; limp with sorrow,

for love's departure
leaves me tongue-tied,
while I swallow it's remains
in muddled passion

alas clipping wings of faith
while I fade into a hushed psalm;
beauty bestowed yet strength
...gone.

VOTES : 8.5 + 9 + 7 + 0BP
TOTAL POINTS = 24.5

COMMENT : I really liked the poem but felt that the punctuation was all over the place. For instance, the line...
"while I swallow it's remains"
The "it's" has incorrect punctuation, there should be no apostrophe in its. It states now that you are saying it is.

COMMENT : I thought this poem showed some of the clearest adeptness with language, both in originality and execution. The first stanza was pretty deft and visually interesting.

On the picky side, "It's" should carry no apostrophe, and I thought the ellipses on the ending line was superfluous, making a touch too dramatic what would have been well-enough served by a line break.

POEM 5 (OPTION 2)
Find Some Hope

I dreamt of sorrow by the moon
Shooting stars echo collapsing life
Drowning in the waters of my soul
Black swans guide me, turning white

New life, born of death
The deep indigo blue of night
No longer leaves me empty
It wraps me in warmth

A soft breeze lingers over my skin
An awakening of sensation
The tingling of anticipation
Hope bathing my healing mind

I dreamt of sorrow by the moon
Until I could not bear it anymore
Until every fiber of my being screamed for freedom
And the moon, once again, was beautiful

My spirit now sings...

VOTES : 6.5 + 6 + 6.5 + 3BP
TOTAL POINTS = 22

COMMENT : I, I, moon, moon, until, until, my,my... I find this much duplication in one stanza to be troubling. With the exception of those things this poem could be re-worked and really be an outstanding write.

COMMENT : I don't normally go for rhymed verse, but I found myself almost wishing that the rhyme scheme in the first stanza would have been continued. I thought the wording was fine, though not earth-shattering. I liked the pieces of nicely-paced phrases that peeked through occasionally, like "I dreamt of sorrow by the moon." Nice iamb.

POEM 6 (OPTION 2)
A Lover's Midnight Mourn

You're the velvet hope that moves me, laced in white
while woven by ornate stitching, for any less won't do,
nuzzles me snug when dusk grows near, all is bright
yet a bypassed soul still beats veered, battered and blue.

For how can a heart cultivate wings, engulfed in sorrow
with those words subtly echo, clawed in the majestic sky
"an empty breeze shines no beauty on a frail tomorrow"
Yet the hope now laced in black, whispers they're nearby.

"I'll grab hold of the moon, my dear, celestially ideal."
You were the angelic spirit who instilled virtue to heal.

VOTES : 6.5 + 8 + 8.5 + 5 BP
TOTAL POINTS = 28

COMMENT : The line "an empty breeze shines no beauty on a frail tomorrow" was the most beautiful line in the whole poem. It is in quotations so Whose line is it?
The last two lines were tongue tangling. I just didn't get the feel of the poem.

COMMENT : The first couple of lines in this poem grabbed me the most strongly. The quoted remarks that started showing up later had me feeling a bit lost, but I think the poet had a clear vision for this poem and stuck to it.

POEM 7 (OPTION 2)
All That Blooms

All that I was
is tangled within my hair,
poppy seeds too watered to bloom
chewed my split ends
and pressured brown locks
to the shape of a pigs tale.

and I carried a rabbits paw
round my neck, with a troll
slumbered in my purse
whose blue hair would sit
neater then mine -

a reminder of why magic
would echo an empty moon
'cross my face and
mask me in sorrow,
a camouflage of who I am.

Like a clumsy ducking
I'd dream of black swans
tinted white -

my soul caressing
the tip of a paint brush,
painting a breeze on
artists hands that were
worn with broken heart lines.

All that I was
is tangled within my hair
and all that I am is now
perched on my lips.

VOTES : 9.5 + 10.5 + 7 + 2BP
TOTAL POINTS = 29

COMMENT : The most beautiful poem I felt of all submitted. Though there are a few grammatical errors. I felt they were overshadowed by the power of the poem. I would love to see these grammar mistakes fixed before posting on the account.

"to the shape of a pigs tale."
^^ I think you may have meant "tail" instead of "tale"

"Like a clumsy ducking"
^^I believe it should read duckling not ducking.

COMMENT : This may be my favorite poem of the contest so far. There were a couple of grammar errors or typos. I'd like to see them polished up, because they distract from the rest and bring down the professionalism a bit.

Errors aside, I thought this poem had lovely and unique choice of words. The past seemed to be all tangled up with hair, while the future is "perched on the lips," waiting to be spoken into life.

FINAL RESULTS
-----------------

POEM 7 ... All That Blooms 29 POINTS
POEM 6 ... A Lover's Midnight Mourn 28 POINTS
POEM 3 ... Queen of night 27.5 POINTS

ELIMINATED
----------------

POEM 4 ... Fragile 24.5 POINTS
POEM 1 ... Mourn to Heal 23 POINTS
POEM 2 ... Harvest Moon 22.5 POINTS
POEM 5 ... Find Some Hope 22 POINTS

Top 3 will be moving on to the final round.
Great job everyone !

Gosh it seems I am having a terrible adding problem today ... lol

Congrats to the poem who wrote POEM 7 All That Blooms
Today is your day to shine with a whopping 29 points !!!

Cuts yellow wrist bands and attaches purple ones to #7 , #6 , # 3

THE FINAL ROUND ... will be posted shortly

Great contest, Luanne..you are a natural at this. I am curious what the final round will be about!

Thank you Lu for all your hard work, good luck to those advancing!