Your thoughts on cheating

Do you consider cheating to be a conscious act or unconscious? also do you consider pleasure to be a form of cheating?

I think cheating is unacceptable in all conditions and circumstances. Because you can always tell the person you're cheating on that you can no longer go on with them, or try to fix things before that. I think cheating is always a conscious act, because you feel something is wrong with what you're doing.

It depends what you mean by pleasure. If you mean having fun or being happy while with someone else then no, I don't think that's considered cheating.

Cheating is an act of weakness and running away from the truth. If a person feels like cheating that means they are missing something in their relationship. That need should be filled, by the partner the person is with. If it is not then they should be talking about it to solve the problem. When nothing works and there is no hope, then they should split up... Cheating is not an answer.

Ok, first, when i think of 'cheating' I think of married man or woman sleeping with a man or woman that isnt thier spouse. I think cheating is in fact a decision that is made conciously, and I dont think there is ever an excuse for it unless its rape, wich is a tottaly differnt story, also, I think that cheaters should probly suck on the wrong end of a shotgun. thats pretty much it for how I feel.

Im pretty open about cheating. I think people cheat for different reasons, not that it's ever ok, but I think it's different for every situation. I've never cheated or have been cheated on so I suppose that forms my rather liberal view on the topic. However, it is never fair to the other person who is loyal to you. Out of sheer respect (if love isn't enough of a reason) I think that if you want to sleep with someone else then you should first break up with whoever you are dating.

To me cheating is a conscious act, which is absolutely wrong. Ofcourse it depends on the circumstances like mentioned before. Though i would not call being raped cheating. I do not think i could accept it if my partner cheated on me, neither would i ever cheat myself. If i truly loved someone i couldn't see them suffer because of the pain i caused them by me cheating on them. I'd much rather try to work things out before it's too late than look for the satisfaction of my desires somewhere else.

Cheating is wrong on both sides. If you cheated then you're in the wrong due to the disrespect you've shown both parties. Essentially when you cheat you cheat twice. This doesn't necessarily make you a bad person but it does say you need moral fiber.

If you were cheated on then you're also in the wrong due to the fact you were obviously not meeting the persons needs who cheated on you.

The cheating party should have opened their mouth and said something before it got that far, but being people we have issues.

The cheated party should have paid more attention to what their counterpart was saying or gone even further and started asked questions, but once again being people we have issues.

If you wanna get rid of cheating and issues then get rid of free thinking. Wait! That doesn't work either. Look at the mother nature. The animal kingdom has pretty much the same issues we have when it comes to their 'societies.'
Maybe it's instinct to just do do do do do do do and if you aren't ready for that part of you to kick in then it can take control.
Maybe it's the stress of being in a relationship and remembering how easy everything was for you emotionally before dedicating yourself to someone outside of yourself.

Either way every sex, just about every person, agrees that it's wrong. Why do we still do it then?

"Your thoughts on cheating..."

^ Communication, communication, communication.

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I watched a story on tv the other day related to cheating. There was one part where the host of the show was talking to a couple who have what they call "negotiated infidelity", as opposed to cheating or open relationships, meaning that they are in a relationship and are sexual with one another but whenever that other person is unable to fulfill their sexual need at that time (if they couldn't get aroused, were tired from a long day or otherwise not in the mood) they would either simply call up and arrange to meet one of their "lovers", a stranger they pick up or a prostitue. Their guidelines/rules in order to prevent attachments from forming with their "lovers": The man is not allowed to be intimate with these women in that he can't spoon them thereafter because she thinks "what woman is going to fall in love with a man who won't spoon her". She is not allowed to be with another man who is more handsome, more physically fit or financially successful than he is. "In other words," the host states, "you can only sleep with a loser and he can only 'hit it and quit it'." The host of the tv show then basically asked them, and I agree with his statement, if you put the time, effort and energy into arranging these meetings to be intimate with these other people then why do you not put that same time, effort and energy into doing it with each other or at least to negotiate what your expectations of each other are in that area of your relationship, what you'd like to see change, what you can do for that other person, etc.

For when you're being cheated it only mean that he/she is not contented...

"If you were cheated on then you're also in the wrong due to the fact you were obviously not meeting the persons needs who cheated on you."

I strongly disagree with this mentality. If my husband has something wrong with him he has a mouth. He can communicate to me his needs. I do not have ESP and he's not a child but a free thinking adult. If he resorted to cheating before talking to me first.. your darn right it's all on him and not my fault. If I questioned his every move wouldn't that be considered 1. Paranoid and 2. Faithless in my husband? The only time someone is known to be cheating is after the fact. SO no matter what if I ask questions the probability is it already happened. And if it didn't and never even crossed his mind. Wow, that's a lot of hurt to put on your spouse with such brash accusations. Point is the person who was cheated on has no ownis on what their spouse or partner does. Even if their partner communicated they were unhappy and nothing changed.. Well it's up to that person who communicated their unhappiness to leave after TRYING to work it out. It is YOUR mentality that has the divorce rate so high. If ever person worried about themselves then passing the buck off to another person it'd be a heck of a lot better. I've seen women cheated on and men who go above and beyond meeting their spouses needs, but they still got cheated on.. I'm just mind boggled how it's their fault...

That's such an easy cop out statement, to say someone should have been attentive to their needs. That's like saying the person who got murdered has equal blame in them being dead because of the person with the guns actions. That's like saying the wife who was hit by her husband should have known to have dinner done on time so she wouldn't get a beating. Each person is accountable for their OWN actions. No one else is to blame but the person who made that decision.

Utter BS, communicate your needs and that you feel alone, go to counseling if nothing works then SEPARATE before bedding another person. That is your responsibility as the person who feels there's something missing in their relationship. There is no excuse for cheating period.

^ I second that.

"If you were cheated on then you're also in the wrong due to the fact you were obviously not meeting the persons needs who cheated on you."

Maybe their spouse was not honest with them about how they felt that their needs (be they physical or emotional) were not being met or acknowledged. In that case I do not feel it is fair to say they are in the "wrong" or were "obviously not meeting the persons needs" if their spouse is not honest with them or otherwise there was no communication and they were not aware that there were any problems in the relationship or between them and their spouse that needed to be resolved. It is their spouse who is in the wrong for not being honest or doing more, and especially if they resort to cheating.

Or, maybe their spouse was honest with them about the way they felt, or they realized this on their own, and they both acknowledged it and attempted to work on it with their spouse; however, were unsuccessful or otherwise were unable to meet their spouses needs or to resolve the problem. In this case, it is not fair to say they are in the "wrong" and you can not say they were "obviously not meeting the persons needs" if they attempted to meet their spouses needs and to solve the problem with their spouse but were unsuccessful. There is a difference between not meeting someones needs and not being able to meet them. Perhaps their spouses needs are too high or are so unrealistic that they are unable to meet them or that their needs are nonnegotiable to them morally in respect to their beliefs; perhaps their spouse did not put in the effort to resolve the problem because they just figured they aren't meeting their needs so it's their problem; or, perhaps it was too late for either of them to resolve the issue. Whatever the reason may be, sometimes they just can't be worked out. If that is the case, if it can't be worked out, then you leave the relationship; what you don't do is stay in the relationship and then cheat on them. That is where they cross the line of being in the wrong.

That said, I moreso believe the person who does the cheating is in the wrong. Why? Even if your spouse is not meeting your needs (be they physical, emotional or other) and even if you were honest with them and tried to talk to them about it, whether they acknowledged how you felt and were willing to work on it with you or if they completely disregarded your feelings and the problem with no intentions of working on it... even then.... it doesn't mean you have to go cheat on them. If anything, if they aren't meeting your needs, if they're disregarding you or otherwise the situation hasn't changed then you LEAVE that person and you LEAVE that relationship. You don't drag the relationship out, if you can call it that, and you don't keep that other person as a crutch. It is neither fair to them and more importantly not fair to yourself.

Either way, cheating in all conditions and circumstances isn't right. Communication, communication, communication! It is the key!

I think cheating is not a good thing to do.

If you know that it's not gonna work out with the person you are with at that moment just leave that person and don't hurt him/her 2 times for leaving and cheating.

Cheating is wrong but not unforgivable.

Depending on the situation.

Everyone makes mistakes though, every couple deals with their own problems and obsticales and this is one obsticale a lot of couples have to deal with. It IS wrong in every sense, but i believe in second chances. Depending on the situation of course....POINT being cheating isn't right, but it happens and you have to deal with it like the rest of lifes problems.

Honestly, I don't want to be with someone who is cheating on me. And I'd rather them come up to me and say flat out, "Hey, I'm cheating on you." Than for me to find out some other way.

I'm an extremely loyal person though, so to me, cheating hurts the most. I don't want to be stuck in a situation where someone I am emotionally invested in, is consciously hurting me like that.

Obviously, other people handle it differently, but for me it's cheat on me once and I'm gone. I will walk away because you've lost my respect at that point.

I don't know that I would classify it as unforgivable... I could forgive someone for cheating on me, I just won't be with them anymore...

I know though, a lot of people in polyamourous relationships just so that they can 'cheat' without really cheating. It works great for some people, just not me.

As a serial(ish) cheater for many reasons; i believe we should all be polygamists...

My problem is that this attitude is rare to come by so i'm forever fighting myself.

However i believe if your in a relationship which you've agreed is a closed one and you then cheat, your breaking a fundemental foundation of that relationship - if you can do that once, you can certainly do it again and if that is a problem for the other person; that person should leave - especially the second time round.

I would never forgive someone for cheating. Thats just me though.

The way I look at it is, If you truly love someone & want to be with them then why cheat? Yeah you can say oh I'm so sorry, But if you're not getting what you want from the person you're with. Either work it out or end things instead of hurting them.

I think its hilarious when people go it was the alcohol or the drugs & I'm like well you shouldn't have put yourself in that position.

If someone wants to be with you & they cheat on you, that just proves the words were lies.

If someones cheating then they obviously arent the one youre supposed to be with. But, just because they cheat doesnt mean they dont love you. Its just means you arent going to be theyre last love.

You cannot build happiness on sb's misfortune.

Personally, I never expierienced anything like that, though if people decide to be in a relationship, building mutual trust and respect is crucial. Contrary to all appearances, it is indeed a big committment. Cheating has no sense in this case; why a person won't simply quit? That's inane. It's impossible to be unable to forgo your primitive animal instincts unless you're strongly disturbed. Cheating is lying, direspecting, contempting, lack of trust, dishonesty, that is, deprived of any virtues a healthy relationship should be based on. Better being a freelance instead of wasting the other's time.

Pleasure is pleasure i do believe that cheating can be justified like anything else in this world besides love doesnt define a realitionship its merley the catalyst. an example do you eat the same food everday, do speak the same way to the same person using the sane words, do you work equally the same each day, dream the same dream of course not, nobody wants an eternity of reptetion they want mystery romance adventure pain... but thats my opinon srey im sum months late to this lol

I agree with Liquid Grace.

I believe cheating is absolutely the wry g thing to do.

Some people cheat just because they're idiots. I can't say I know why all people cheat but frankly I don't care. Some guys can't stop sticking it girls can't keep their legs closed.

For me cheating is the ultimate end to a relationship. If there was something wrong, then something should have been said. If you are in a relationship then hopefully as an adult the parties involved would have the decency to talk things through before it getting that far, or at least break up with the person before you end up breaking their heart.

I have been cheated on and it was not the greatest fee lining in the world.

I was also put in a situation by this prick where I was "the other girl"

I had no idea this guy had a gf which he had been with for so many years and had children with. I felt disgusting and so angry that he would put me in a situation like that. Why would he do that to someone he's been with for so long???

Simple, he's a prick. I hated him for making me feel like the other girl. I felt so sorry for his gf as I know part of what she was feeling.

If a guy or girl cheats in a relationship then I feel they are not worth being with in the first place. Too much damage can be done by cheating.

Sorry, typing from my iPad.

That beginning was meant to say wrong thing to do

I think cheating is stupid and don't understand it
I mean why would sum1 cheat on sum1 they truly love??

I would never cheat cos it's stupid and it really does hurt you..

Disgraceful

cheating is stupid, insensitive, and the person cheating is obviously someone who'd rather hurt someone badly then breaking up which is a lot easier then keeping a disgraceful secret like this.

(: Kelly