All Cutting/Self Harm Issues - This Thread Only #19

I dunno, I usually try hiding it, or if somebody asks, I avoid the question. :/
Probably be better to say that you went through a tough time, or tell the person it's private.

That's what I try to do too.
But when there on your lower arm its kinda hard.
If there a true friend I'll tell them the truth,
but a stranger I usually say car accident. :/

Well....I have them on my lower arm. Like in the wrist area. Sometimes higher up. They're on my thighs, too...But I usually wear lost of bracelets, or long sleeves, or a jacket. I also wear lots of pants. During the summer is the hardest time to hide it though...
On youtube there's a girl by the username of idranktheseawater
You should search her. She has realllyyy good advice.

Oh I don't cut anymore.
But yeah I have some on my wrists, forearm & upper arm. The one on my hips all got covered by tanning this summer luckily!

I have a HUGE one on my forearm(it went from small to huge lol) and i cover my wrist with bracelets also & my hair covers my upper arm. But my huge one.. Well i can't hide that lol

I used to hide mine, wear long sleeves, lots of jewlary, even tried different make ups to cover it all..after a while though i thought why should i..just because my scars are on my body doesnt mean i should hide them. Stuff what others think. If people who dont know that part of my past ask i simply tell them it is something i used to do but i dont do it anymore. That answer seems to be sufficiant. I guess i dont feel the need to hide as much nowerdays becaue my secrets out - i told the people i love about it and that i was getting help, i dont self harm like i used to and relapse's are getting rarer by the day. When i look after my niece (8) i cover up - and its not because im ashamed of myself ect, its because i dont want her to HAVE to know about that stuff until she ready, she doesnt need to know why i did it or how bad my life was that i felt it was my only choice..one day maybe and if she asks i will tell her but not now, as a child. She deserves to stay a child for a little longer.

I have scars on my feet,ankles, thighs, pelvic area, under my breasts, my armpits, forearms and wrists. Now obviously depending on what im wearing most of those will be covered by everyday clothing but the ones that arnt - i dont feel so jittery about them anymore. Like i said its something i did.

If anybody persists with the question just tell them its a private matter and you dont know them well enough to discuss it with them. Never be affraid of your scars though..there is no point..think of all the things you could/would miss out on. Be brave.

^^^

I agree with everything you just said. I only really hid them from my dad bcuz he didn't know i started up again after years of not doing it.

Most of my scars are covered up. If you ever want them to cover up, tanning does wonders

Fake tanning takes days if not weeks to get to a good tan - im very pale skinned. Stand n tans, i used to do them but under the uv everything shows up and i had more relapses using a stand n tan than anything else because i would be overwhelmed by how bad i was.

I have heard of a cream that helps scars and birthmarks ect but i havnt been able to buy it yet..for some reason i cant buy it..and i cant figuer out whats stopping me from buying it..maybe i dont feel im worthy of using something to get rid of scars I made myself.. i dont know, one day..

I don't fake tan. I lay out in the sun, its a better looking natural tan. & aww..

Yeah I've heard of them too. My biggest scar couldn't be covered up with that though. You're probably just not ready bcuz the scars are a big part in your life

Usually tanning doesn't help me. :/
I'm pretty white...but not REALLY white. But when I get darker, my scars stand out more...like, they look whiter. My scars usually don't tan, sadly.

Aww :(.

Have you tried tanning lotion?
If you do be careful bcuz some can make you orange.
But the Hempz Tanning Lotion doesn't at all
(my best friends sister used it for prom lol)

Took all my strength not to relapse this week.

^^^^

I'm glad you didn't hun<3

Im on new anti depressants, doc says there relativly new to public. lets see if theese ones can balance me out. i hate being high more than being low, low i know i will be in one place..high though, and i dont know what i do.

I hope they work too.
When your high, everybody reacts differently.

When im high i cant stop myself from being dangerous with my life,weather thats maxing out my credit card or calling in sick to work to go dance on the beach(at night). i say and do things to the people i love that i cant appolagise for.
i realy want them to work,i dont even care about the headache,sickness,nausia,fainting,dry mouth or abdo pain..it will all be worth it if they work.

Either with drugs, you're the same or a completely different person so I understand where you're coming from.

I hope it works too!

I've thought about tanning lotion...but nah, I guess i like being white or something, aha. I used to want to be dark, but i like my white self XD
Now i wish i was whiter, lololol (:

I am thankful they didn't put me on medicine...I don't want to take...to take... Happy pills. -.-
They think i'm better, but i'm not...all the rage is just hidden. I lie to the therapist. I shouldn't, but i do.

Almost relapsed,, but I didn't ... and it felt like it's making me go inane not to...Lord, help me..

Happy pills..balance out the chemical imbalance in the brain and i dont plan on taking them long term as that thoughts abit blah for me. If you want to get betterthen take the pills and dont lie to your therapist.You get more out of there time if you get to the root with no bullshhh.I like both tan and pale skin so i tan in the summer and stay pale on the winter.

I just mostly lie to the therapist I guess coz I KNOW her...personally. She lives a house aways from me. Like, i go to her house to see their niece and I feed their fish and it's just...WERID...So i can't really be honest with some adult I know that well and see on a regular basis outside therapy.

No chance you can see a different therapist because that is well and truly wierd! :\

My parents won't let me. They say she's good, and she is but it's WEIRD. I saw her today at her house cause i was hanging out with her niece.

Have you told your parents that its wierd for you? You dont need your parents approval to see a different therapist..there are plenty out there who can help, you can also walk into any hospital and demand to see one. Your seeking help so they wont mind.

Or you can just tell it to her, your therapist. She might understand it and help you find another one or talk to your parents.

I think i need help well i have this freind who makes jokes bout me cutting soo now he makes sure he looks at my arms every so often but cos i dont no when hes going to look i dont cut but i feel as tho i need to and one day my bf noticed my scars and ask if i was ok and i lied to him and said yea im fine but really all i wanna do i slice up my arm and watch the blood flow

^ Well good that your friend watches so that you don't cut yourself.

Sure you might want to do it but in the end it doesn't help anyway even if you think now it does, trust me on that.

And you should tell the truth to your bf, I'm sure he cares about you and would want to help you if something is wrong.

I know i sould tell him its just that we are going though a tough time right now and i dont know how well he would take it
And the guy who looks at my arms actully cuts heself aswell and he will cut others my bfs arm is covered in cuts for him but my bf thinks its a joke

Yes, my parents know it's weird, my therapist knows it's weird. She told me "I know this is probably weird for you"
In my town, there aren't very many people who can help... i come from a town of 7,000. She's really the only good therapist.
I'm sure my parents don't wonna go out of town. My dad just had MAJOR heart surgery and it's somewhat hard for him to travel but he's getting LOTS better, but still...
It's just tough i guess. :/

Relapsed, and I am ever so desperately trying to hide it from my boyfriend, Kevin...the look of dissapointment that will show on his face if he finds out...
And trying to hide if from my mom. She'll go psycho on me if she finds out...it's a good thing it's getting somewhat colder now, it gives me reason to wear long sleeves again.

Hm I'm done playing around with this. Funny how I regret it everytime I do it and when I'm at the point at doing it I just don't care since it's the only thing what makes me feel better.

No idea what to do with it, but I just need to quit.

I relapsed this morning and feeling pretty damn low about it. I tried so hard not to but its what my body needed or so my head thought..just waiting for it to stop so i can clean up and carry on with life. Back at work tonight and i really dont want to go in..thats if i dont get fired today for standing up for patients who have no voice. So low right now, i wish my meds were working. I feel like im going to have a breake down or something. :'(

Still feeling low. I hate being like this when its near to my fave holiday.

Relapsed twice in the past 4 days. It's becoming regular again....Had a breakdown Friday. Lost it for ONE second, but that's all it took for me to loose it completely. I couldn't stop crying, but it felt nice to get the tears out.

Didn't do anything in 3 weeks now, which suprises me.
Lets see how long I can keep it up.

All i want to do is cry and cry but my parents wont stop buging me telling to do stuff lyk get mail get washing on the line feed the chickens feed the cats get the eggs help with dinner the second i get home from school i work all i want to do is cry

I used to have these... i guess you could call them visions. kinda like an out of body experience when i visually see myself hanging myself with a noose around my ceiling fan. i try not to think about the dozens of knives and swords i have hanging from my wall. ... or the .22 rifle under my bed.

but here is the strange thing

i have no desire to DO anything. i dont exactly want to shoot myself or cut myself or hang myself. but somehow the idea of doing it is calming.

almost every single night, while others think about the next day's activities and responsibilities... or even rehashing memories of the day that just transpired. ... im envisioning myself swinging from the ceiling fan with my hands tied behind my back in surprising detail. or i think about what if i never wake up? what if i can lie in my bed forever? if i die, will it be like living in my dreams and fantasies?

then im asleep.

then i awake to a reality where nothing feels right. ... and the first thing i see in my room is a wall of swords and a spinning ceiling fan....

the intellectual part of my mind is thinking that's a ridiculous and stupid idea. and yet my heart still wonders.

Wow thats deep when u say u have no desire to do anything but the idea of doing it is calming is it cos u want to escape ur life or it just calms u and u dont no y

Relapsed already twice again..

Threw all my razors away, mabe that helps for now xd

Went to go cut myself only didnt have anything sharp enof try using my nails cos they long and sharp it work it felt good cos i did it again i fuk up

Relapsed cant wait for school again so someone can notice

Why do you want/need somebody to notice? are you looking for somebody to tell you to stop?

i havnt cut since first week of december. so far so good.