Nor & Mel's Poetic Challenge [ROUND 3]

Hi all

Welcome to ROUND 3 of Nor and I's poetic challenge. As I mentioned previously I am sorry about the delay but we are back on track now..

2 people were eliminated in ROUND 2, we are left with 6 poets, 3 of which will be eliminated this round.

ROUND 3 is simple, you will be writing a poem based on a mythological God or Goddess, HOWEVER, it must be of a particular culture. Seeing as only 6 of you are left I have randomly numbered different cultures from 1-6, please PM me one of the following numbers and I will reply to you with the culture that matched your number.

[1] CELTIC [RESERVED]
[2] SUMERIAN [RESERVED]
[3] AZTEC [RESERVED]
[4] EGYPTIAN [RESERVED]
[5] GREEK [RESERVED]
[6] NORSE [RESERVED]

The culture will then be revealed above next to the number with a reserved title next to it. If the number has always been reserved you will receive a PM asking you kindly to pick again.

Note: We will also be having masked poets and one-rounders again, so feel free to PM your poems to Nor as well if you'd like to give yourself a little challenge and receive some feedback. Please follow the guidelines also. One-rounders/masked poets please do pick a number also and I will PM you your culture, however if one-rounders and masked-poets pick before actual contestants the culture wont be revealed above until a contestant picks.

RULES:
Please PM your poems to Nor as she is handling getting the poems to the Judges.

Nor's Profile:
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/author.html?id=439827

DUE DATE: 30th of July at 9AM. I know time difference can get confusing but follow the link and all should be fine: http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/city.html?n=240

Any questions feel free to ask either Nor or I.

Good luck!

This contest gets cooler every time.

Thank you, Larry :)

Only 3 spots left.

Sorry for the delay as well. The change in timing and dates, due to the site being down, caused a bit of a problem. but like Mel said we're back on track (hopefully)!

I'd like to thank all who took place so far and Mel, of course, for filling in my place as well when I couldn't make it in time. Thanks, Twin!

Can't wait to read this round's poems! Please do recall to send them early so that you get as much reviews as possible.

Good luck!

Interesting! Interesting! :):)

thank you...:)

All spots have been reserved, can't wait to read this round.

No one chose Hindu???? Psssh, lame.

Awesome topic, Mel and Nor! Looking forward to the reads.

Excited to see these. :)

Abby, I picked the 6 different cultures and it's funny you mention that.. I struggled to decide what 6 we'd be using.. Hindu, Chinese & Roman were a few that I hated leaving out, if only we had more people participating this round.

Couldn't a one rounder opt to try one of those, I mean Hindu, Chinese, Roman, or some other group?

I'd be willing to accept a poem from any of the following cultures, more variety the better in my opinion. I doubt Nor would have a problem with such either.

Same here :) No problem at all.

A little under 14 hours remaining!

Hello all,

I was sent another little piece via PM and while it doesn't incorporate mythology it involves culture which is an important part of mythology, without culture we wouldn't have such a diverse range of mythology. Enjoy the poem & thanks to the sender.

----

My culture forbids me
to have greyer hair
than my older siblings, and
our father would freak out
if we did, so
we all dye our hair to camouflage
his pride but

there is also our grandfather to consider and

the battle remains between these two!

How much money will we spend on hair dye before we admit,
we are all getting old!

This round is now closed, thank you for the participation. Poems will be posted shortly.

Here are the poems, well done everyone. It's been a pleasure reading these. The reviews will be posted as soon as possible, seeing as a lot of the poems were sent to Nor a few hours before the deadline we are still collecting them. Great effort all!

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1) Mizeria [Greek]

Apollo, fiddle for me
the essence of life
as I watch the nocturnal
lesions of my heart
mutating into a pretext
for him to revert.

Apollo, einai mou
afinontas mono.

And as I escape these
hallowed lanes, throwing
his sin upon December moon,
a secret hidden between
my dormant eyelashes,
still these grey shades
of our memories seep
through my curtains.

Apollo, helm the sun
back to my eyes, awaken
my femininity with your
golden arias, I'm too
frozen to miss someone.

what a wretchedness,
the more I attempt to
bury my yore, the further
I pine for his warmth.
I'm too lonesome,
too fragil to give it
a whirl.
Apollo, how I want
to twirl and swirl
outside my timidness.

***Mizeria : Misery
einai mou
afinontas mono: He left me alone.
In Greek.

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2)Ma'at [Egyptian]

He painted hieroglyphics
upon my heart with love
at each new rising of Horus
while speaking of I,
an ostrich plume
like the one nestled in my hair.

I stood revolting chaos
with wings spanned wide
weighing hearts of the dead
against my feather -
for I spoke truth.

----

3)Coyolxauhqui (Moon Goddess) [Aztec mythology]

Stuffed in the flaccid bosom
we are born of the same feathers
and warmed in the same
virginal womb
of Coatlicue,
our mother,
the Earth Goddess.

You, Huitzilopochtli,
my brother, murderer
and God of Sun and War
cast serpents of fire
upon me.

Banished to the sky,
decapitated so that my
head hung as the moon.
A unfitting fate for jealousy.
The sun's rays sting my face
like drought on maize
in the wrath of Mexica heat.
Shared battles of visitation
ensue between myself and the sun
each day.

Sometimes
at the eclipse
I catch a glimpse of you
suckling at Mother"s breast.

Always the favored one.

pronunciations and explanations...

Mexica- was a city the Gods lived in, its spelling is intentional.

Coyolxauhqui - Cho-yohl-shau-kee

Huitzilopochtli - Wee-tsee-loh-poch-tlee

Coatlicue - Coh-ah-tlee-cooeh

***According to the legend, Coatlicue was magically impregnated while still a virgin by a ball of feathers that fell on her while she was sweeping a temple. In a fit of wrath her four hundred children, who were encouraged by Coyolxauhqui (her daughter and moon goddess), was shamed of the way she became impregnated, and they plotted to kill their mother.The god Huitzilopochtli (God of War and Sun) afterward emerged from Coatlicue's womb fully grown and girded for battle and killed many of his brothers and sisters, including decapitating Coyolxauhqui and throwing her head into the sky to become the Moon.

---

4)Saga of Enlil and Ninlil [Sumerian]

In Dilmun, Sumerian home of the gods,
did Ninlil come of age along with favored Enlil;
Ninlil, so sensuous, in open fields lured her friend
but games of love got out of hand, he did not stop;
violation, shame, remorse - how do you punish a god
who is air: breath from his parents' after-glow?

Banished! Destined yet to be king of the gods,
no longer had sacred home, his only refuge hell;
Enlil hulked down under to dark airless Kur.
Then followed Ninlil to her brute's brooding hearth,
lovely, forgiving, voluptuous, swelled with life;
united in Kur they created heaven below with children.

Wiser, true leaders of gods, they returned above
towing sun and moon in their swaddling clothes,
abandoned other off-sprung horrors: death and its lord.
Father Enlil fashioned helpers: scampering men,
chattering women, such nuisances - drowned the lot;
one man survived, Utnapishtim, given eternal life.

In Nippur Ut built for Enlil House of the Mountain,
for five millennia people have known god's glory,
worshiped his wisdom, who gave tools and other gifts,
cowered from his raging storms' thunder and fire,
yet praised him for watering their fields, their crops;
may he ever dance with Ninlil in the garden of love.

***Attachments:
http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Enlil
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enlil
http://www.sarissa.org/sumer/sumer_g.php

---

5) Poem 5 [Norse]

Somewhere across the aching sea
where Ymir's Atlantic blood
choked a connection between cultures,
is a world I've never seen,
but I know it still, icing breathless
in my mind.
There, where mountains yearn for sky,
and frosted winds tarry 'round bleakest peaks,
I see your visage, trumpeting through the icy drifts.
Are you pitiless? Stranded now, forgotten
by a Ragnarok that never touched your chains,
I imagine you a wearied child,
a trickster trapped, but not unyielding
to a patient time's maturity.
Perhaps now
you live to regret the hammering
dispatch, a beating, a bet, a near beheading
for snatching clumps of golden curls?
Ah, but your precious neck
curves creative as you
twist words like laces, and
even I would've seen the triumph in your eyes
though you were sewn out of talking.
But the ice seized you, and your fanciful fire
faded to bitter coals
as wits turned worse for wear,
and you coaxed havoc
from a blind throw of mistletoe.
No, Loki. You are no fortuneless child,
just another flake of ash
snatched up in the wind,
merely masquerading as snow.

***These are some links that explain the stories I found:
http://www.timelessmyths.com/norse/beginning.html#Ymir
http://www.timelessmyths.com/norse/aesir.html#Loki
http://www.timelessmyths.com/norse/thor.html#Gifts
http://www.timelessmyths.com/norse/ragnarok.html#Balder

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6)The Ardent Deer, the Subtle Snare [Celtic]

Before the waves and waves of tribes
crested and splashed against the emerald shores of Ireland
-The swarthy Firbolgs, the forgettable Nemedians,
the musical, war-mongering Tuatha de Danann-
there were the Sidhe, the folk of hills and burrows,
of trees and rocks, of sunlight glinting on water and filtering
through the shivering leaves of oak.

The Sidhe, who heard the scraping of ships hulls
against the grainy shore,
retreated to the underground places-
to the caves and cliff nooks, to the hollow hills, to those
places under the skin, behind the eyes, always over the next rise
always flickering on the edge of vision- they are everywhere, untouchable,
a mere atom, a universe away.

Into this non-land wandered
slender, deer-fleet Oisin, with his milk-white skin
and long-lashed eyes that saw poems in every breath exhaled.
He was led by a girl who shone like a pearl, who was light and golden
and had specks of deceit glinting in the corners of her lips.

Like a stag entranced by the scent of a doe he went to her,
and with the touch of his littlest finger on the smallest curl of her hair,
he slipped into the crack between the worlds.

Three years passed as quick as a flower blooming.
Three years fogged with lovemaking, with losing himself in the
curve of her hips, in the small of her back, with the drinking of wine,
with stars that pierced too keenly, with waves that would not settle,
with music that strained on the edge of hearing,
with leaves that shook and whispered
"you are wrong, wrong, wrong to be here."

Three years, and he felt his body weaken.
No man can live in a place that fails to exist.
He felt the draw of his homeland, which held onto
his nerves like vine tendrils - curled, hooked, slowly pulling him back.

Like a stag evading a hunter he left her, promising to return,
letting his fingers catch once more in the curls of her hair,
before he turned his mount and trod away.

The woman shone like the moon. She was pale and scythe-like,
and had drops of deceit pooling in the corners of her eyes.

Oisin, the wanderer,
curved around lakes, forded streams, scaled mountains,
making the journey he had made before in an instant,
in the time it took to blink in wonder at a girl's golden hair.

Oisin, the poet,
questioned passersby. "Where is my father?
Where is the house that stood beside this river? Where is the rowan tree I planted
as a boy?"

Three hundred years, since the tree had rotted and died.
Three hundred years, since the house was washed into the river.
Three hundred years, since his father was swallowed by the grave.

The sun was too bright. The leaves shook and whispered
"you are late, late, late to come here."

Oisin, the unsatisfied,
leaped off his horse.
Atoms shifted, aligned, straightened, strengthened, locked.
His milky skin wrinkled. His poet's eyes clouded. His
lover's pooling eyes looked away forever.

He was trapped by age and magic,
by a heart not made for that non-world,
for a flesh not meant for this time.
He was left,
pounding against a grassy mound, from which
the faintest strain of music could be heard.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ois%C3%ADn

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aos_S%C3%AD

1) Mizeria [Greek]

''I think this would have been better had the author chosen a more simpler approach. I found myself confused over the ''him'' and the over use of ''Apolo''. I didn't like the ''as I..'' in the first and second stanza, it added to the confusion and unnecassary turns of the poem. Also, I didn't see where was the use of Mythology in the piece except in mentioning Apollo's name. There were some interesting images in these piece, but that's about it.'' -The Princess

''I think this author put a great deal of effort into the research of this topic so, kudos for that.

I did find the poem hard to grasp however because the 'tense' seemed to change from past to present, for example in the first stanza:

Apollo, fiddle for me
the essence of life
as I watch the nocturnal
lesions of my heart
mutating into a pretext
for him to revert.

I thought at first the narrator was speaking directly to Apollo but, the last line indicates otherwise so I think it should read:

Apollo fiddled for me
the essence of life
as I watched the nocturnal
llesions of my heart
mutate into a pretext
for him to revert.

I'm also not keen on the word 'fiddle/fiddled'. I think Apollo played a lyre so perhaps strum/strummed would have been a better choice.

I'm too lonesome,
too fragil to give it
a whirl.

"Give it a whirl" seemed far to 'modern' a phrase for a poem about mythology.

Still an enjoyable read.''

''Such a sensational read, the writer here masterd the flow, the poem was aboslutely powerful, and i <3 the title, very creative, a 5/5 and an epic read.'' -Rsj (Rabea Jadallah)

''There are some really beautiful lines in this poem, though I'm not sure I understood some of them. I loved the ending, the idea of dancing outside of "timidness". I also loved the inclusion of the Greek language, I thought that was a clever insertion. Despite a lot of truly beautiful wording, though, some lines are just confusing. For instance, "And as I escape these hallowed lanes, throwing his sin upon December moon, a secret hidden between my dormant eyelashes, still these grey shades of our memories seep through my curtains" is so convoluted, I honestly can't figure out what you're saying. It almost reads like you don't know what you're saying either, but you're trying to cover it up by piling on the imagery. Removing some descriptive language, in this case, might prove helpful. I mean, I suppose I don't know how or why an eyelash would be dormant? I like "awaken my femininity with your golden arias", it's a gorgeous line, but the "someone" at the end of the stanza is too vague for the elegance of the previous line.''

''Loved the title though I felt the repetition of the name Apollo and the overuse of I and I'm was distracting from the poem itself. Third stanza begins with the word ''And'' this word could be eliminated and it wouldn't interfere with the flow. Also fragil should be fragile. As far as the poem itself I would like to have known a little more on the subject, are you referring to when Apollo left Creusa and their child or is it some other woman or man Apollo abandoned that is in Misery from heartbreak? In the first paragraph where you address Apollo it is unclear of whom you are referring to when you say ''him''. If it is Apollo himself you wouldn't use that terminology throughout the poem. The poem left me a little confused as to the direction, legend and path. There were several metaphors in which I thought were unique and catching but otherwise the poem lacked that a-ha moment to draw me in.'' -Dixiedaisy

''Clever the way you entwined Apollo into this poem, he is indeed quite a diverse God. I noticed you incorporated many aspects of who he was however the main focus was clearly evident, that being he was known as a healer. I found this piece to be prayer like which is of course fitting seeing as you are speaking to what was believed to be a God in Ancient Greece. I thought it was a clever play on words with 'fiddle' on a literal sense we picture the musical instrument of a fiddle, this was lovely symbolism because as you know he is also the God of music. Symbolism was actually incorporated a lot through this piece and it was nice to see the subtle messages you portrayed as you could tell you had researched the topic and it seemed to flow naturally from you. I was glad that this wasn't fact after fact and yet it held true knowledge. My partner is Greek and while I am not fluent in it I do have quite an understanding for it. While the title translates nicely to misery the sentence "einai mou afinontas mono" didn't seem to quite translate to what you had placed beneath the poem, it did reference leaving but not quite in that sense, however as mentioned I am not fluent and I'd be intrigued to know where it is you have learned the phrase. Nice work incorporating the sun and moon, perfect juxtaposition and of course reference to Apollo again. In the last stanza, sixth line 'fragil' should be 'fragile.' The emotional aspect of this piece was strong, great to see you incorporating an every day topic with something quite ancient, however it works well anyway as I'm sure many people in that time were also praying to Apollo to heal them of such misery. I am surprised you didn't mention the animal attributes of Apollo I felt they would of worked well here but that's just me being too precise. I was also fond of your choice as Apollo was leader of the muses and as everyone knows by now my pen name is symbolic of one of them. A lovely poem that I was pleased to read.'' -Melpomene

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2)Ma'at [Egyptian]

''I didn't think using phrases like ''He painted hieroglyphics'' or '' nestled in my hair'' was smart of the poet since it's too much of Mel's work, Neither did using them really add something that the poem couldn't do without. I did, however, enjoy the second stanza especially ''weighing hearts of the dead against my feather'' since it was quite a believe in ancient Egypt that your heart has to be lighter than a feather for you to go to heaven or the afterlife. I, also, enjoyed ''at each new rise of Horus''. Still, more research would have certainly gave the poet much more to write about. Actually, the poem in my own opinion would have left more impression had it been a bit longer/detailed and more like the second stanza than the first.'' -The Princess

''What a very unique character to write about. Ma'at was the goddess of truth and justice, but one would not know that without a little research or knowledge of greek mythology. An inclusion of whom the poem was about would have tied it together nicely for those who do not know. I loved this poem and felt that even without the inclusion of character the poem itself stood on it own with interesting imagery. The poem kept me captivated in a sense to learn more about this goddess. I adored the insertion about the ostrich feather. This poem was a little to short for my liking though it summed everything up nicely without being overdone and metaphorically crammed. Nice Job'' - Dixiedaisy

''Although this is a compact little verse it told me everything I needed to know about the chosen topic. Others may view it as not being long enough in comparison to the other entries but I think the contents were all there and it held my attention. Well done, I enjoyed it.''

''The poet here said a whole story in a few lines,
i have got to admit that this poem had me thinking twice, to try and grasp the meanining behind it. Very creative, pin point, and stright to the point.'' -Rsj (Rabea Jadallah)

''This poem really requires investigation to understand. I don't think that's a bad thing at all, but I don't think I'm fully grasping it without looking up Ma'at. To me, it seems like a direct description of the character, very nicely penned, but perhaps it could use more elaboration?''

''Bold move to speak as an Egyptian Goddess herself. I did like this perspective as it's an interesting choice of character. Enjoyed the subtle symbolism, the ostrich feather is an important aspect of the Goddess; however in such a short poem you referenced it twice, once in the first stanza and once in the second. I do understand why you felt the need to do so, one was discription the other was creating understanding of the Goddess, however as mentioned the poem was short and even though you use the word 'plume' in the first stanza (clever synonym for feather I might add) it still meant the same thing and it wasn't necessary in my opinion. Ma'at is associated with wisdom, therefore I'm not sure if this was intentional of not but the last line reminded me of the saying that wisdom is truth and so this idea worked well with this concept. I felt as though you left out an important aspect of Ma'at, that being the incorporation of the ankh, Maat gives life to breath itself and that fact and the ankh are strong symbolism which I would of like to have read within the poem. Perhaps it was the length of this piece that was the let down, I didn't find it to be long enough, would of enjoyed if you connect her to Horus a little more strongly but i'm extremely happy you mentioning the weighing of the hearts. While you mentioned the fact she wore a feather nestled in her hair, it was in fact nestled behind the crown of upper and lower egypt, so I felt crown would of been more suitable. The only thing I wasn't particularly fond of was the reference to 'speaking' in the first stanza and then 'spoke' in the second, it created the idea of repeated ideas again as it did with the feather and personally I would of tried something different. Nice work incorporating the idea of Egyptian langauge and also great job included the fact she opposes chaos.'' -Melpomene

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3)Coyolxauhqui (Moon Goddess) [Aztec mythology]

''Wow, thanks for the pronunciations for this poem! I would have been hopeless without it, and I feel like knowing how to say all the words is especially important while reading a poem. This piece was fun, because it really gave me a glimpse into an area of mythology where I have very little prior knowledge. From this poem alone, I was able to get a clear view of the story. I think the last 2 stanzas (including that final line) were my favorite, as they seemed to put the most poetic twist on the story.'' -sibyllene

"That was perfect in my opinion, I so so love this piece, and I kind of know who wrote this because this style doesn't seem strange for me, I am left speechless, actually. Amazing work. I had to do a research to grasp its meaning, and I believe there are many words that I've never heard of, lol, and that makes it so special and well-done, I especially love the ending, the finale part was really touching and when the reader knows few things about Aztec mythology, a piece like this won't ever be forgotten, Wonderful!" -The Poetess

''The theme is very very interesting. i did like the idea but i cannot say i enjoyed the poem a lot. like, the closing was really good, but i think its the round that is kind of hard...neverthelesss to be fair, i think you expressed yourself or ideas in a good way.'' -Ms Sunshine

''This read much more as a story or a letter than it did a poem. For me, it was kind of boring and hard to follow with the names being so close. The strongest part for me was the picture behind it, it created an image, but after that it just fell short and I had a hard time focusing :/ ''

''This was certainly interesting and imfortmative. I never knew of the story before, so I found this to be a smart and fascinating choice. Certainly not an easy write. However, I think a few details could be removed from the poem without effecting it, like ''and the God of Sun and War''. I thought the poem at parts told too much. Also I think the ''A'' in ''A unfitting'' should be an ''an''? Not really sure.'' -The Princess

''I am always fascinated by the myths behind the moon in mythology but this has always been perhaps one of my favorites. I was fond of the later stanza's of this piece, I felt in the first stanza you weren't as natural as you were in the final two. I do understand why the first stanza seemed stiff, you were attempting to portray the connection between Coyolxauhqui and Coatlicue in order to inform your audience about the myth, however the descriptions of 'mother' and 'earth Goddess' to me seemed a little too factual, they were needed to be incorporated but I felt as though they should have been in a more subtle way. Once I got to the third stanza I became more intrigued, I adored the way you portrayed the connection between and the sun and the moon; You were more natural here and let yourself create the story with the sun's rays stinging her face. This was a clever way to in force the idea of her being the Moon Goddess and her Brother being the Sun God, it not only portrayed the contrasting images which allow the audience to see sibling rivalry but it explains day and night of Aztec mythology. I liked the metaphor of 'shared battles of visitation' I felt that this could be taken in many different contexts, which again reinforces the idea of a war between two people and allows the audience to relate with the Characters, in this case the God and Goddess. The way began to end it was lovely, it was lovely to see you connect yourself within the poem even if it is only you viewing the moon (I do gather that this probably wasn't your intention as you were speaking as the voice of Coyolxauhqui but it did create such an image in my mind) Clever the reference to 'suckling at Mother's breast' as Coatlicue was the mother of stars in the South sky and the eclipse would indeed create such an image in a metaphorical sense of course. You portrayed much symbolism throughout this piece and showed a lot of knowledge, great work with the research and including facts but also allowing the poem to breathe with life rather than it being suffocated.'' -Melpomene

''I love this piece. For all the story telling, there's just enough poetic detail to keep it unique. I like that you chose a character who was not blameless in the events that took place, I thought the voice rang true from Coyolxauhqui, (which, even with your help, I still can't pronounce) which made the poem that much more appealing. Rather than being faced with a god, in this poem, I feel like I'm faced with an individual, a concept that makes the poem more accessible. My favorite parts were: "The sun's rays sting my face like draught on maize in the Mexica heat" and the ending. I like that your simile draws from the location, and the idea of the sun "suckling" on the earth's breast is so creative, especially when followed by that last line. Overall, I think it's a very successful piece.''

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4)Saga of Enlil and Ninlil [Sumerian]

''What an amazing master piece this is. The flaw, the wording, the deep feelings all written in an extraordinary way. I especially enjoyed the way it was narrated as a story from beginning to the end. Perfectly penned.' '-gIrL

''This poem has such a tone
To it as if someone was trying to tell a story..I think it had such a nice flow
And depth
The ending was what I loved the most.
Such a tender warm wish..
Great read..''

''The tone of this poem was amazing, I actually loved ''how do you punish a god who is air: breath from his parents' after-glow? Banished!''. The author took the reader along with them step by step and told the story in a way that wasn't boring or hard to keep up with. The poem kept my intrest all along and I found myself returning to re-read it every now and then.'' -The Princess

''Not exactly something you'd expect to read in a review but I had a Siamese fighting fish named Enlil and another named 'lily after Ninlil, of course now that you know the myth you might find that strange but I adore the names. To begin in the first line I didn't feel you needed to include a description for 'Dilmun' I do however realize that many people wont know what it means but perhaps you could of included a brief description at the bottom of the poem as It felt unnecessary to me. Two main myths revolve around Enlil and Ninlil, obviously the one you spoke of in the beginning is the idea that Enlil raped Ninlil, a controversial topic in mythology believe it or not as the rape was a kiss, he then was punished by the fifty great Gods which as you described in perfect wording, he was "banished." Nice work with incorporating 'Kur' these mountains were an important aspect of portraying this God of air. Once I got past the reference to the mountains however, I became a little confused. You speak of how he followed her when I believe it is her that followed him after her first impregnation, he then continues to impregnate her while being in various disguises. I do like how you ended this, in the myth of Enlil and Ninlil a hymn was written which creates knowledge of Enlil become the source of abundance and fertility, not sure if you read the hymn itself but it was clearly evident that you had researched into this topic. Enjoyed the alliteration in 'brute's brooding' it was effective. This read much like a tale would and I believe that's what I liked most about the poem, it was as though I was reading from a story book, however the words were your own. I also like that you incorporated the great flood into the poem, it seems your research on Enlil was broad and focused on the myths that revolved around him. I'd also like to point out I particularly enjoyed this link: http://www.sarissa.org/sumer/sumer_g.php thank you for sharing this one with me!'' -Melpomene

''Though I found the poem very informative, it was just that...informative. Lots of information but none of it struck me in a poetic sense. The overuse of the Enlil, Ninlil, gods, and Kur were too repetitive. Once I followed the links and had read the story, the poem brought nothing new to the table so to speak, just an abbreviated version of the story. This would definitely be an interesting poem if shortened and a few metaphors, simile's or imagery were provided.'' -Dixiedaisy

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5) Poem 5 [Norse]

''I've always had a soft spot for Loki. I adore those trickster gods, who are never quite evil, but certainly not "goody-two-shoes."

I thought this poem did a good job of giving poetic interpretation to a mythological story. The last 9 lines are especially good. It's a bittersweet ending.'' -sibyllene

''Captured my attention more and more as I read it. This line just made a statement to me:
"I imagine you a wearied child,
a trickster trapped, but not unyielding to a patient time's maturity" SPEECHLESS at this moment ..
Another inspiring line would be "You are no fortuneless child,
just another flake of ash
snatched up in the wind,
merely masquerading as snow." It just ignited my imagination and took me to somewhere else. A personal favorite to me.'' -gIrL

''This poem,
Has an exquisite wording..
Some lovely imaginary..
Though I think the writer over did the comma's...
the poem was still enjoyable..''

''I believe what intrigued me most about this piece was the way it was written, almost like a children's tale. It held the factors needed to allow this aspect to shine through, it was filled with facts however they weren't overdone and subtle enough to make me want to read it to a child. Obviously this still wouldn't necessarily be understood by a child but it's something that one could grow up reading and with time find that understanding. This was more casual then the other pieces I read, it held a casual tone which was enjoyable. I was surprised how quickly you incorporated Ymir, usually you need background information or a build up as an explanation to the Giants but it wasn't necessary here, you got straight to the point and it too was effective. Good job incorporating the connection between cultures as Loki was an offspring of the giants, I feel that was needed in order to give a little background information about the God himself. I like how you mention you have never seen the place and yet you describe how you envision it in your mind, this is what I wanted to see from these poems, I wanted the poet to connect themselves somehow and not just make it information about the topic I had given. Nice play on words with the 'Trumpet' and while it may not have been intentional it reminded me of the Gjallarhorn which in my mind 'Trumpets' throughout the air. I enjoyed how you referenced Thor without speaking his name; the 'hammering' was enough to allow the reader to gather the idea it was him you spoke of. Another thing I was particularly fond of was the way you incorporated Loki's trick of cutting Sif's hair, it wasn't so much that you actually mentioned it, just how you entwined it all together. Loved the alliteration of ' trickster trapped' and I thought this piece was actually emotional. You portrayed the aspect of Loki as a trickster who then as they said turned evil but it also seemed you were showing some remorse for him. Again symbolism was used with the 'mistletoe' which referenced the death of Balder and I thought the use of 'masquerading' was a clever was to symbolize the fact he was a shape shifter and again works well with the tale of the Death of Balder... though I would of liked you to of somehow mentioned the fact he could change sexes and even bear a child or perhaps include some other forms he was known to turn into, such as a flea, salmon or a bird, such little things I feel are important but none the less an amazing read.'' -Melpomene

''I was quite taken away with this and just when I though it couldn't get any better than some part the author surprised me. I love the approach, the tone, the word choice and almost everything about this piece. My favourite for sure.'' -The Princess

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6)The Ardent Deer, the Subtle Snare [Celtic]

''I thought it was interesting that you began my focusing on one main race - the Sidhe. Personally if it was me that would of been the race I looked to focus on mainly as well, you described their home beautifully. I especially liked the image of 'shivering leaves of oak,' oaks being the native Irish tree; lovely symbolism here. The fact the Sidhe are creatures that are known to walk without sound and not leave any sign of tracks or movement really worked well with this idea of 'shivering trees,' I felt as though I was searching for them but my eyes couldn't keep up and so all I was left with was the movement of trees, quite magical. It was interesting that you didn't describe features of the Sidhe, of course I understand this was due to some myths saying they were beautiful while others say they were ugly, it's hard to know exactly what they were but most myths tend to go with the lovely and that's usually how I see it in my mind. Again this was another poem that held facts but it was placed in your own words, for example you described how the Milesian's defeated the Sidhe and the Sidhe retreat into the caves quite uniquely. I must admit I adored the way you portrayed them being everywhere and untouchable, some stunning idea's presented here. It was quite long your introduction before you got to Oisin, for once I'm going to say I'm glad a poet wrote in detail, I think the background is really necessary here in the audience creating understanding. Once I got to your mention of Oisin I realized why you were describing the Sidhe in so much detailed, I should of known but didn't realize at first, it was a little surprise for me! Of course I had to smile at your choice, Oisin being a poet created a little connection between him and why you chose him, I'm sure many other reasons for that but this was evident within the poem. The tale of Oisin is quite a tragic one to me, it always reminds me of such sadness and shock, I can't imagine being placed in the situation he was, time becoming the enemy. The subtle rhyme in 'girl and pearl' I wasn't too keen on as I didn't find any rhyme anywhere else and if it was throughout then it wasn't as evident as this exact rhyme. Again, I want to say great work for making this tale your own, you described how time changed, how it passed and yet you placed your own thoughts of what it was Oisin was doing in this time; losing himself in the curves of her hips, drinking of wine, you don't find such references in mythology books. You built around the story and made it your own. I found the way you placed emotion within this poem to be beautifully done, you speak of Niamh's deceit and still you reference tears in her eyes, you make the love evident which a lot of stories tend to leave out, the romantic essence contrasted against the painful tragedy and realization. Symbolism was evident throughout, the 'deer' the music, the rowan tree and I found the way you ended this gave a little prickle to my heart. I really enjoyed the way you used the universe to show how time was different between the two worlds. For a lengthy poem I was intrigued throughout, it read as a myth tale would be told, held knowledge and I felt like this wasn't all researched, that perhaps you've known this tale before you actually began writing, it held relaxed tone, nice technique, enjoyable inclusion of "Speech" and great content.'' -Melpomene

''The poet certainly has the gift of words and writing. An emotional piece beautifully potrayed, a piece that won't be forgotten anytime soon. P.s. I love the repetation.'' -The Princess

''At first, skimming over this poem, I was completely uninterested, to be honest. It's long and it seems like there's more story than poem. But after taking the time to read it through, I have to give credit to the poet for presenting the story so well. This isn't a slight jaunty piece that paints a striking picture; instead, it's a long, drawn out tale retold with some very nice lines in place. I loved the change between "you are wrong, wrong, wrong to be here" with "you are late, late, late to come here." Not knowing the story at all, I didn't have any expectations for the story's ending, so lines like these were surprising and wonderful. I thought the inclusion of "deer-fleet Oisin" with "like a stag evading a hunter" was clever, though I wish I could've seen more of that sort of word play throughout the piece. I guess, even though I love the story retelling, I think the writing of this poem shows that the poet could have painted a stronger, more significant image, had they chosen one part of this long story to stick to. As it is, there are so many small poetic pieces that work, but I think they get lost in the sheer mass of story. Obviously the writer knows the myth quite well at this point; I'd love to read a detailed poem about the three years they spent together, the moment they said goodbye, or even a poem that more deeply considered Osin's feelings upon returning home to a land he left three hundred years before.''

''This poet, do have a very interesting style, one that would write a bestseller novel. i loved the imagination here!! just amazing! the images were reaally descriptive and the tone was exciting AT the begining...causebi have to admit that i felt off afterwards ...too much details, maybe if you take off some parts cause its not the length of the poem that bored me, just the way its stuffed... however as i said, impressiveeee.'' -Ms Sunshine

''I was intimidated by the length of this poem to begin with -- I was hoping it would keep my interest, and it did. I loved the imagery here, so strong and vivid. It played on my natural love of the country and animals, and it felt like it was painted with words in such a way only this poet (whoever they are) could master. I loved the slight rhyme riddling throughout the poem as well, and thought it gave a good poetic feel. I feel a couple of pieces could've been taken out to shorten the piece up a bit and it wouldn't take away, but overall it was a beautifully crafted poem.''

***Thanks to everyone who has taken part in this.

Great reviews! :)

I found lots of poems are just stories or some information, no poetical meaning...:/
is this what required??:/:/ don't mistake me all and eat me alive I am afraid I was wrong, I didn't write much inforamtionnnnn :/

I think, Nano, you asked me that same question a day or 2 ago and I answered you? Anyway, The poems should be about mythology/a mythological god or goddess or more, concerning one of the cultures given to the participant. How one chooses to write it is totally up to them as poets provided it's about mythology and the culture given somehow.

Yeah, I asked you if the poem is accepted or not.
But I'm afraid the judges will consider some poems not related or so. I was just wondering...:):)

Results will be posted in a few minutes!

Yay, I am so excited! :)

1)Poem 5
(6P+6P+6P) Total: 18 Points

"The poet seems like a voyager that's just discovered a new world, pondering about the life of these Norse gods, and stimulating us to think along with her. Whether it be qua uniqueness, technical enhancement, or communication, she certainly managed to shine. Its constant focus on coldness helps the reader to be aware of the poem's landscape, there's a sense of desolateness which is expressed in the surroundings, the tale, and the speaker's voice. You'd think this sadness would carry on until the end of the poem, but no, the poet gave us a spark of hope, telling us that Loki isn't fortuneless. It's much like the comfort of sitting in front of your fireplace after a long day in the cold. The poet almost sounds like a wise parent or grandparent that's trying to comfort a child. The poem is like a children's tale instead of some heavy myth, and I enjoyed that. Twists are always nice within poems or theme-based contest, and the poet even managed to twist the tone with her very last breath: snatching that last patch of gloominess. An exceptional poem indeed."

''There is some awesome stuff here; this might actually be the best poem from this round so far. I don't want to exaggerate much, but this poet's wordplay leaves me breathless and jealous at the same time as does their creativity and skills. Good poetry such as this will leave readers breathless and with an astonishment across their face.''

''Does this poem have a title? It survives without but still!

A well crafted poem worthy of attention. It flowed beautifully eliciting great imagery with exquisite wording. It takes the reader on a lovely journey of intrigue and fanciful fire. I liked the way you incorporated Ymir and Ragnarok, it was well thought out and clever. Definitely one of my favourites this round, correction it is my favourite. Well done.''

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2)The Ardent Deer, the Subtle Snare
(5P+5P+4P) Total: 14 Points

"The longest poem of all yet I didn't dare to blink once, because each line outshone the other. I've read this poem a few times and I've been thinking whether I should go with the same critique of "this poem is just a summary of the actual myth, lacking personality or whatsoever". When I read it for the last time, I realized I couldn't say that about this piece, because there's a poetic spirit in it which cannot be found on Google. There's so much effective effective repetition within this piece that it's almost as if all words are intertwined, affecting each other, like the way everything of the universe becomes "one" somehow. This poem is not only a poetic tale, it is also a spiritual journey. I truly enjoyed the narrative of the last part of this poem, very eerie."

''This is one of those longest epic poems ever written like those of Mahabharata and the Tibetan Epic of King Gesar. I'm not usually into reading lengthy poems for I can't determine the beauty of their diction due to their unusual longer lines but like many others, I sought to determine what makes a good poetry. Having said that, I think that this is a great piece and far beyond commendable especially for the time this poet took to research and ensure this will be an action-packed piece.''

''I was entranced and entrapped as soon as I started reading this. A lovely poetic tale beautifully told. Although the longest poem here it still held my attention to the very end, making me want to find out more of this mythical bard. Like any mythical god or person (the brief was God or goddess should I count that against you?) there is much and a poem can but touch and tantalize us, with this you did a good job.''

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3) Ma'at
(2P+ 4P+5P ) Total: 11 Points

"Interesting perspective: speaking with the voice of Ma'at herself. At first glance this seems like another ordinary love story, but when you unfold each word you'll see that this poem has several clever hints of Ma'at's personality and appearance. The poet has certainly placed her symbolism carefully. I liked the way almost everything in this poem referred to the sky/air. This being important, because: 1) Ma'at wears a feather that's depicted as a tall ostrich plume, which in turn symbolizes the Egyptian god of the air. 2) Horus looks like a falcon, thus being a part of the sky as well. The latter reminds me of a phoenix, due to the words "new rising". It adds a special feeling to this poem, something deep, for Horus raised Ma'at. However, I felt that this could've been more evident throughout the poem. Of course it revolves around Ma'at, but when you conclude Horus I think there should be a reason behind it, which isn't clearly evident within this piece. I also felt like the Egyptian elements were too forced in the first line of this poem. Yet the poet tried to be creative and ended with words that not only do not mash well, but have also become cliche on this site (writing/painting/... something upon one's heart)."

''This was a tricky piece for me, at first, it seemed like a serious emotional piece but after doing a little research I find all the words and scenes formed and portrayed here relevant, as the title made it sound. I feel like the short length of a poem makes it more interesting to read for it shows how much time and effort one must put in to make every word counts unlike long poems where it is easy to skip over of what might have been powerful and essential to the poem. It was said that Ma'at seemed to be more of a concept than an actually goddess which meant truth in Egyptian. In this poem, you managed to not only act as a goddess of truth and harmony but more than that. I love how the word "feather" is being used here; it did create a peaceful and silent mood otherwise a poem without a convinced mood would be boring and bland to read. Overall, I enjoyed this piece a lot due to its precise vocabulary, meaningful sentences and flow of words.''

''How a few words can speak volumes, an attribute of a very good poet, Kudos for that. My knowledge of the gods is limited to say the least yet this one had me delving for more. As with most gods they are diverse and complex yet in a few short lines you have conveyed some of the essence that is Ma'at. I found the second stanza most poignant

with wings spanned wide
weighing hearts of the dead
against my feather

To me making the symbol of the feather such a bold and beautiful statement.''

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4)Coyolxauhqui
(3P+2P+3P) Total: 8 Points

"The first few lines of the poem were mind-tingling, not to mention lovely alliterated. I liked the compact feeling that was created by words such as "stuffed" and "womb", as I could clearly imagine two creatures so close to each other, like twins before birth. Then came "Coatlicue" along with her "tag" as mother and Earth Goddess, and I was immediatly turned off. The previous lines gave the reader some space to imagine, but these lines just push this freshly made persona into the reader's mind. I don't think too much of these details were needed as the technique of braiding around your content (so to say) affects the reader much better. Fortunately, this effect slowly fades away and I found myself being dragged into a fiery war. The fourth stanza is strongest of all, because it is clearly full of fire, literally and figuratively. On the contrary to, the following lines are much more serene. I certainly enjoyed this peacefulness, as it's much like the first stanza, but I felt like this switch was too sudden."

''I feel like this poem was too storytelling. Conveying a story without actually doing it takes extra effort. Telling what the character is seeing and doing can actually destroy the mystery/depth of the poem. Also, changing the theme in every stanza is so vague at times leaving the readers lost and clueless. For example, first stanza was about two different characters, and then the second stanza was about her brother and finally about the speaker, while the shift in its theme was noticeable, the change in tone has totally distracted the harmony between stanzas. However, the ending lines were quite interesting; unfortunately the opening lines were not as powerful.''

''A fascinating read about a goddess I had never heard of before. I Think a little more editing is required to round off this piece as it didn't read as well as it should have and I found myself tripped over a few filler words (and) that I think would be better left out. I also question the use of Flaccid in the first line as I don't think it fits, swelling would be more appropriate . Yet after reading up on this goddess you do create some nice images
Shared battles of visitation
ensue between myself and the sun
each day.
I loved the first two lines in this stanza, yet, each day in the last fell a little flat. Yet all in all a memorable read.''

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5)Mizeria
(4P+1P+2P) Total: 7 Points

"It's nice to see that the poet has tried to incorporate some lines/words in Greek, because it adds that little more reality to the poem. Hearing/reading the sound of Greece allows the reader to jump into the right scene. It's also interesting to see that the poet made Apollo a part of her misery, instead of simply telling one of his fabulous stories (such as his love affairs, I'm sure there's enough juicy material regarding that). This poem was personal yet mythical, that's what I liked about it. I have to admit that I wasn't too keen about some of the word choices. Such as combining "fiddle" with "essence", as they generally indicate totally different senses (sound and scent). Or "pretext" as it is such a harsh-sounding and technical word for a delicate emotional piece such as this. Then again, I did enjoy the images this poet tried to illustrate, especially those of the third stanza as they seem so innocent yet impacting. Though the ending seems forced with its sudden rhyme. Some may appreciate the sound of it but I don't see the use, since twirl, whirl and swirl basically tell you the same thing."

''This is the simplest poem on this round simply because of the lack of connection between its contents and the Greek prompts. This is somewhat an emotional poem about the struggle that we all share called life. In addition, there is a little bit of repetition here, "Apollo" and it is not difficult to feel a little disappointed. "Apollo, he left me alone", I certainly think that this is not a good phrase if not poetic. In my opinion, there are ways this line could have been worded differently otherwise, a stand-alone stanza consisting of a single line, should be powerful and rolling. In the fourth stanza, "my eyes/my femininity" as the direct objects, while "I'm too frozen" as a subject in a same sentence do not mix well. It could have been another sentence but the conjunction "for" was obviously needed as its function is to introduce the reason for the preceding phrase. On the other hand, I find this poem beautifully elegant for this poet has a way with words and with deep feelings.''

''This poem has a certain depth to it that i like, and the references to Apollo not over done. The title was fitting and the poem flowed well. I felt there were a couple of words that did not quite fit, Revert in the first stanza, a word that doesn't convey the emotion needed at the end of this stanza and Whirl in the last which i found a little flippant yet rhymed with Twirl and Swirl so maybe a little pushed. I think i understand why the use of Greek but unsure if it adds to the mythical flavour of the poem. Still an interesting read.''

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6) Saga of Enlil and Ninlil
(1P+3P+1P ) Total: 5 Points

"The style of this poem is quite unique, it reminds me of comic books, and the solid structure supports this idea. Each time I began to read a new stanza, I felt like the speaker underwent some sort of mood swing, which creates an energetic rhythm. While this is a suitable effect for so many sequent images, I think the poet got too enthusiastic. The pace of this poem is set high, so it takes a while before the words truly sink into the reader's mind. He also omits a lot of articles, which speeds up the pace even more. Not to mention that the poem loses its naturalness due to this. This poet is certainly a wordsmith but sadly it's hard to remain interested when too many names are scattered along the way."

''While I commend this poet's resourcefulness, I find the poem long and lacking mystery, another too storytelling. There is nothing wrong with poetry and storytelling, only if they can go far beyond the obvious analogies. However, considering the title, this poet gives a good deal of information about a young god called Enlil and the lady of the open field called Ninlil. Another thing, in its present formatting, I like the flow, progression, logical sequence and uninterrupted succession of the story of the two characters and I find that it takes real effort to be able achieve them and enough patience, creativity and ways with words to be able to write such as this.''

''There was so much to try and digest within this piece yet i became a little lost as it read more like narrative, for example
Father Enlil fashioned helpers: scampering men,
chattering women, such nuisances - drowned the lot;
one man survived, Utnapishtim, given eternal life.
On the whole this to me has little poetic form, still there are some very good lines, who is air: breath from his parents' after-glow? comes to mind though i don't know why you need the question mark. The ending also fell a little flat so I didn't take as much away from this as I could have.''

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Eliminated:

-Mizeria
-Saga of Enlil and Ninlil

Thanks Nor :)

Congratulations to the final 4! It's going to be an interesting last round. Also congrats to the poets eliminated, I enjoyed all poems, they were different, unique and fun to read. Well done everyone! I can't imagine it was the easiest topic to write.

Thanks Nor and Mel both. :)
This is so fun so far. Great jobs ;)

Congrats everyone especially to those that have passed! Looking forward for the final round. :D