hiya plz read this !!!!!!!!!!!!

hiya i may sound desperat ... well i am lol!
i have wrote a poem called "i could ask for no better" for my nan for chrimbo plz plz plz would you read and comment on it i would be so pleased coz i only have one comment on it i would like to now wether poeple think it's good enough and plz tell me before chrimbo