THE CLUB'S POEMS AND SCORES

Lap 5
Round 2
Tanka

Salt and Pepper

Desperate for time,
mind now racing frantically -
grabbing at thin air.
It seems that I am too late,
age has discolored my hair.

Lap 5
Round 3 - Water [Tanka]

Thirst

Desert sand and dunes
My throat clogs up, thick with dust
I dream of water...
And in the distance - a lake!
No, it's another mirage.

Lap 5
Round 4
Free verse

Under the bridge
lies what the children around
the school nearby commonly
refer to as a troll.
His hair runs thin and stringy,
his eyes are dead and cold.
That beast, they say,
makes a bed out of gravel;
not sleeping
but rather just lying in wait
for his next victim to
pounce and overtake.
I approached him one day
and he said "could you spare me
some change?"
Jokingly, I assured him that
his one true savior was
Barack Obama, and that
I could offer him no solace.
He didn't seem to get it, so
I dropped a dollar in his empty
Folger's can and bid him
a good day.

Lap 5
Round 5 - Microscope

TC's Nerd

From what I know of Abby,
it would not be altogether surprising if
she spends her days
off work
in a twirling red dress and
fogged up plastic goggles
scrunched tightly around her
pretty face, while
peering proudly
through post-modern microscopes,
admiring her own dead
skin cells.

Lap 5
Round 6
Wild card (Free Verse)

Comedy

Seeing through that
grotesque appearance of yours
is like catching a glimpse of
Swiss cheese.
It's kind of like there's
love coming from
the resemblance of a
a block of wood
eaten away and left
rotten with wormholes.
I might as well laugh,
for we're just here for your
mindless entertainment.

Lap 5
Round 7 - Cats

The Haughty Tom

There is a male cat (uncut),
whom some poets forget to mention, it's true,
but he is more concerned with lathering saliva
between his claws, musk-ing his coat,
yowling at windows, and
strutting down alleyways with tail raised in
a poised, fluffy hook
than trivial blemishes of feline odes that
praise his opposing gender.

Lap 5
Round 8
aabab rhyme scheme

Ah, poo, that crappy excuse for a bird shat on me!

Up in a tree
sits a chikadee
he sings a little tune
and shits on me
in the shitty month of June.

Lap 5
Round 9 - PnQ Member

Kev

Sometimes he's too tall to notice us
or too busy banging drums.
Sometimes he's too fond of some of us
or too keen on flashing gums.
He's been going through some changes,
of that none can deny.
But while he's not the same old bloke,
he's still an awesome guy.

Lap 5
Round 10
Alliterative verse

Adventures in Alliteration

Buckets of briny bathwater,
wash over my matted mop of hair.
The bath is brackish because
I overlooked my only oar and
sailed out to sea
with naught but wind and waves
to bring me about blindly.
Luckily, the love of my life
lingers at the other side of the lake.
Hold on...
Oh! I failed to fill you in -
When I think of how I long
for Lucy, my lovely lady,
I tend to drift into daydreams
and fashion fables and fairy tales;
replacing my dim, daily doings.

Lap 5
Round 11 - 5 lines

Thai Wedding

On the white sands of their wedding day,
standing barefoot and wild in the warm ocean breeze,
hands clasped like two sides of a locket,
their loved ones beam and wistfully release
hundreds of white lanterns into the open sky.

Lap 5
Round 12
Halloween

Old Boy

This year
for Hallowe'en, I'm going to
hide all night in a garbage can
at the end of my street.

All the little passers by
will run away,
too scared to say
"trick or treat".

This year
thing's are gonna be different
I'm 43, too old
to climb a tree.

They'll run away
when I jump out and say"BOO!"
From the garbage can
at the end of my street.

Lap 5
Round 13 - Toilet

Tribute to Thomas Crapper

I've never had to crap in the ground,
and if I did, it was by choice.
Indeed I've squeezed my bowels so hard,
I've nearly lost my voice.
But when I've had to clench my abs,
and stomp my feet in fury,
I tip my hat to Thomas Crapper, for after -
There's no crap I have to bury.

Lap 6
Round 1
21 syllables

Carapace

I once wished
to be just as a snail,
able to have a home
on any given trail.

Lap 6
Round 2 - Tanka

Storm Coming

Black clouds on the rim
of skies like a robin's egg
when thunder crackles
I yawn my arms above me
to wave at the Sun, Godspeed!

Lap 6
Round 3
Water

Eden

There is this secret,
I found it here the other day
sparkling beneath the
sun's rays.
A little trickle came from above
at which point it came as a surprise.
Scaling rocks - hands became grimy;
caked in silt mixed with sweat.
Cement formed in between
the creases on my palms.
I washed them off in a small fountain
and to my surprise
before my eyes, my hands
regained some of their past youth.

Lap 6
Round 4 - Free Verse

Saturday night and
I'm running thick in the gutter -
both hands are cradling the wheel.
I'm sick as sin of the gin in my gut;
my throat's as dry as an eel.
Just one more shot of you might be
enough to make me feel
as if the night has not been really lost
and these visions are not real.

Lap 6
Round 5
Include the word "microscope"

Cooped up in a lab -
no, not the kind of lab that
harbors microscopes and petri dishes,
we are here looking at a computer screen.
Picking out segments,
sloppily transcribing phrases through
toothy grins and at times
the nastiest frowns you've ever spotted.
Trying to decipher words and
code-switchings, percieved errors
and what might be fake speech
designed to mask our specimen's
nervousness. Ah,
the life of sociolinguists,
nature's great listeners.

Lap 6
Round 6 - Wildcard (21 syllables)

Until this afternoon, I would have laughed,
had you said:
"A happy hour will help you out!"

^YES. Hahahahaha.

Lap 6
Round 7
Cats

Katie

Claw marks up and down
forearms.
That feline hates me,
one would surely agree.
Secretly, though, I can see
it in her eyes;
the way she purrs and
doesn't leave my side,
that all she does in her spare time
is seek my attention and approval.

Lap 6
Round 8 - aabab

I'm running out of things to say
But another poem will save the day
So out it comes, all in a spurt
It's poor, I know, but that's okay
The lot of you can eat my dirt!

Lap 6
Round 9
PnQ member

Abracadabra! Alakazam!

Never have I ever
been so glued to my computer.
She's got me
checking in every five minutes
beginning every hour.
Never have I ever had to
write so many poems
or have those little tendrils of
ideas sing a chorus
in my head at such a consistent
pace. What a race,
She's got me hooked and
I won't stop till I'm 6 feet deep
or in first place at least.

Lap 6
Round 10
Alliteration

I am Sibyllene,
sensational, supreme!
A scathing scamp of sultriness
that's scarcely ever seen.
I'll strike you with my sabre,
and slice away your smile. My
scintillating sorcerous wit
will stump you with its style!
A sizzle and a slap
as my sentences upwrap.
I'm a sexy sultry poet
who will dominate, so
.... SNAP!

Lap 6
Round 12 - Halloween

He Hasn't Dressed Up Since

When I was 10, my pa
dressed as a green goblin in
a witch's hat.
Costume decked from head
to toe, a rubber mask and furry gloves
to match,
not an inch of his skin
could be seen.

He leaned in his chair
on the patio,
plastic pumpkin full of sweets
by his toes.

Just so, he began to snooze.

Up crept a school of
adolescent boys,
taking my dad to be decoration.
In conniving chortles, they
dug their greedy hands in
fists to grab more than their
fair share.

At this very moment, my pa awoke,
and this is what he said:
"Hey now boys, no more than one each."

You might imagine their surprise,
though my pa's surprise was greater!
Before they tore off like bats
out of hell,
one boy screamed, and can you believe?

Why, he kicked my dad square in the nuts.

Lap 6
Round 13
Toilet

Finally I Get the Toilet Poem

And it's ironic, because
what do I find? I'm sitting
here in a robe, with my hair fluffed out,
typing with a klicky clack and
I have to pee more than anything.
I'm going to be one of those old ladies
who has to sleep in two hour shifts, who
leaves her teeth on the bedside table and
can't go to any movies that are longer
than an hour and 40 minutes, who
can't jump rope or giggle too
loudly or shtup that younger,
50ish milkman, because of my
unyielding, unwilling devotion
to that ivory deity.

Or maybe
I will just wear Depends.

Lap 7
Round 1
21 syllables

Seriously, Sibyllene's
scrumptious
syllables
send
shivers
shooting
skyward, heaven!

Lap 7
Round 3 - Water

A Special Poem for Abby

Wet shark tooth
Turbulent armadillo, swoosh
drip, drip, waterfall wins the jungle fight
Shoot the cow!

Lap7
Round 4
Free Verse

Last week I slept
in a cabin in the woods, hugging
my dear, drunk fellow and curling in
my toes from the chill. The world outside was
straw yellow, maple yellow, sun yellow,
and blushing tones of red,
now shadowed.

He breathed solidly, slept
a warm, beery sleep with his elbow
wrapped, gently, around mine.

Decay is beautiful.
We're as golden as endings,
as leaves slowly dying,
as weeds spinning gently
downstream.

Lap 7
Round 6
Wild card, Halloween

kids do run amuck and scream
yelling at the top of their lungs
Halloweeeeen
all dresses up in fluff
wearing fabulous masks
made of paper and glue
lollies clasp tight in every hand
Some sticky half chewed
on every house they do knock
in every street, every block
till the lollies have run dry
so with a sigh and a grin
with bags full to the brim
no longer to roam
its off to their beds
to that warm place called home

STARTING HAPPY HOUR #2, OPTION #1!

Go team, go!

Lap 7
Round 7 - Cats

Fact on Cats

Take it from an expert.

When your cat languidly swishes
the tip of his hanging tail,
sitting on the kitchen counter
or curled like a fluffy scarf in a pile
atop your dirty laundry -
To be sure, that little flick translates to
"Come closer."
Oh yes. You are being beckoned.

Look again.

Do you see that sly
feline smile spreading
across your cat's lower case 'w' lips
as you take one quiet step
forward?
Oh yes. You are being beckoned.

Look again.

When you step closer still, does your cat
flick one ear back and forth?
Does he slowly blink his eyes,
then look away,
then back once more?
Does he rev up like a motorboat? (Say no more!)

Does he go so far as to stretch a stretch that's so overdone, it's obvious?
Pitiful.

Take it from an expert.
You are being beckoned.
Stop reading poetry and go to your cat.

Lap 7
Round 8
aabab

So maybe I am just a flake,
but here was my rookie mistake:
I thought I'd be slick,
and then... Oh, for shit's sake...
I just noticed this isn't a Limerick.

Lap 7
Round 10
Alliterative verse

John Lowery

Fingers ferociously flying,
strings strained and slightly sweaty.
Writing riffs and stringing out
lists of licks, enough solos to
saturate a songbook that could
make Satriani salivate.

Lap 7
Round 11 - 5 lines

Grocery List

-Pastry mix for a nine inch, double crust pie
-Apples so juicy, if you squeeze them, they'll cry
-1/4 cups of water, three tablespoons of flour
-Brown and white sugar, but don't yet devour
-Pour cinnamon on top and then bake for an hour!

Lap 7
Round 12
Halloween

Irish Holiday

Quick, grab the torch
and light a larger fire.
let the flames leap, let
them devour all
the shadows in those
tree roots, in those
basement corners,
knocking around those
closet doors.

Now, lead the cattle,
let them leap between the fires
let them low and bow and
worry, charm all
the darkness off
their hairy hides.

Cut the apple,
cut the turnip, let them
keep you well and bright,
let them guides you
home, avoiding,
swiftly,
all those shadowed hands
that wish to claim you.

Lap 7
Round 13
Toilet

What goes in there?
You may ask.

Well, this is a
house where many things are
surprising, so that
inquisition will
see much contrition.

Apart from the obvious,
(I mean, it's a toilet after all),
it's seen brine.
It's seen a pair of glasses, I'm sure.
A toothbrush, perhaps a necklace,
but wait, there's more!
A funny story, I should tell;
In it saw my reflection
and let out a loud yell
into the bowl
I was young, I
had a loose molar
and into the water it fell!
But of all the things
that drain has seen
I think the funniest was
that Brazilian
Mad Magazine.

Lap 8
round 1
21 syllables

Dr Theodore Albatross
Had the most peculiar odd teeth
But was most careful to floss

Lap 8
Round 2 - Tanka

City Slicker

Wet cement wreaks of
newspapers and cigarettes,
but sometimes I catch
a whiff of a man's musk when
he brushes by my shoulder.

Lap 8
Round 3
Water

Opaqueness
is an illusion that allows
for peace.

When you are buried in water
you do not disappear. There are
a million eyes fixed upon you,
hungry with their scales.

You don't go softly, you go,
blinding with clarity, heavy
with scent and waterlogged.

Water isn't blue.
It's clear, clear,
all the way down.

Lap 8
Round 4
Free verse

Grass

Blades of grass
bump into each other aimlessly,
shamelessly they seem to
enjoy the breeze.
Every so often, you might catch them
intertwining in pairs
resembling lovers
or children with their mothers.
How sweet the blades of grass seem
blissfully dancing with their neighbors
during every gust of wind.

Lap 8
Round 5
Microscope

Microscope
horoscope
kaleidoscope
are not words commonly used by the Pope
no he's hes painfully pious
scrubbed clean with soap
and considered by many,
a bit of a dope!

Lap 8
Round 6 - Wild [21 syllables]

Dear Abby,
I chose twenty-one syllables
because it will make your job
easier.